Guilty Pleasures
by The97thLiverpudlian
Summary: He was the outcast suffering an early existential crisis, she was the popular girl who wished she wasn't. Together, they were cogs in a machine that threatened to chew up everyone and everything.
1. Whereof One Cannot Speak

**_this is a big experiment. stick with me here._**

* * *

He came to in the grassy field, surrounded by dandelions, the sun bathing him in its brilliant glow and the lofty clouds drifting across the bright blue sky.

He groaned and sat up, taking in his surroundings. Pastoral hills stretched on and on into the distance, meeting the horizon as if it was a green sea. Nary a speck was to be found, whether it be tree, animal, or any indication of human presence. No, he was alone with the world.

He gathered himself and stood, twisting around in a circle, green, and green and green. He breathed in, taking in the scent of unbounded nature, the smell of pollen and weeds filling his nose. He chuckled, a smirk tugging at his lips, and he began to walk.

He didn't know how far he walked, nor for how long, but eventually he spied a black dot far off in the distance. He paused momentarily, unsure of himself ( _a mirage?)_ , and with an inward shrug carried forth towards the tiny black dot.

The closer he came, the larger it grew, until he was standing before it, gazing into the darkness through its windows and at its withering wooden frame. It was a building, all black, looking perhaps like a tavern one would find in the old southwest. It was not very tall, not very wide; its roof rose up on either side in a triangular fashion, wearing its singular circular window like a badge of honor.

There was no door, just a gaping rectangle that led into the darkness. He hesitated, unwilling to give up the warmth of the sun for the uncertainty that lay within. But he steeled his resolve, mounted the steps that squeaked under his feet, and stepped inside.

He waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness as he inched forward. Gradually, the contours of the room became apparent to him. Overturned tables marked the room, chairs strewn about in careless fashion, there seemed to be the remnants of a bar straight ahead, though its contents seemingly long emptied. Sunlight filtered in through the curtains, striking the dust that pervaded the room with an almost ethereal glow. He moved to the bar and placed his hand on the old counter-top, imprinting on it the outline of his hand.

"There you are…"

He jumped, the voice startling him out of his reverie. He whirled around and was confronted by the sight of an old man, his beard long and white, seated against the wall in the far corner of the room.

"Who are you?" he asked cautiously.

The old man chortled at that, taking in the appearance of the boy that now stood before him. The boy saw the way his face wrinkled prominently and the dust swirled around his head, and frowned.

"You don't remember…" the old man said, smiling and shaking his head.

"Don't remember what?" the boy demanded, taking a step closer.

"Oh," the man said, his mouth open and looking up at the ceiling, scrutinizing it as if it were the first time he'd seen it.

"What is this place?" the boy asked, studying the faded floorboards at his feet.

"This is where we go…"

"What?"

"You aren't the first one to come here, you know," the man nodded at him.

"What do you mean? There were others here?" the boy questioned.

The man nodded. "Long ago…"

They remained silent for while. The boy stepped around the discarded tables and chairs, running his hand along the dusty counter.

"Where did they go?" the boy finally spoke.

The man slowly shook his head. "Away."

The boy pulled up a chair and sat before the man. "What does that mean?"

The man looked up at him and his eyes grew wide.

"You, it was you."

"What do you mean? What was me?" the boy leaned closer.

"You were here…before."

The boy furrowed his brow, uncertain of what to make of the man before him.

"How long have you been here?" the boy inquired. The man smiled at him, giving him a knowing look.

"Long," he responded. The boy felt a tingle run down his neck and looked back at the entrance, there was nothing there.

"How do I leave?" the boy asked.

"You can't," the man's smile grew wider.

"Why not?"

"You can't leave Hell."

The boy drew back, as if burned. "I would've expected Hell to be a bit hotter."

The man was silent for a few moments, and then he spoke. "Your friends are all dead."

"Who are my friends?"

"They aren't coming, that's for sure," the man continued, "an all around bad show."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Nobody said art had to be in good taste," the man said.

"Huh?" the boy tilted his head questioningly.

"Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius; make this offering to him and do not forget."

"What are you talki-"

"I did everything for you," the man croaked. "Alright then, let's offload those stealthy Jews from their trains."

The boy stood and backed away from him as the man began to laugh.

"You – you don't understand," the man gasped. "It's all a big nothing – "

The boy moved across the room, compelled by the maniacal cackling behind him, towards the small open doorway tucked away at the opposite end of the room. He peered around the opening and discovered a set of stairs. Tentatively he ascended, the laughter behind him fading away into nothingness as he entered the cramped second story.

There was nothing there but a small wooden box resting against the circular window pane. He moved forward, his hands shaking as he pulled open the top.

A shrill scream broke through the silence. "Your friends are all dead!"

Inside lay a rose.


	2. Ordinary Day

"Sora!"

"nngghh"

" _Sora! Wake up!"_

He awoke with a start, shooting up and gasping for breath, the sweat trickled down his face as he took in his surroundings. The world came into focus; his brother was standing at his side.

"What happened?" Sora asked hoarsely.

"You told me to wake you when it was eleven," his brother shrugged. He looked closely down at the sweating boy on the bed. "Are you alright?"

Sora took a few moments before nodding. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?" his brother pressed.

"I said I'm _fine_ , Roxas."

Roxas studied his face and Sora unconsciously drew back.

He shrugged. "If you say so," and left the room. Sora released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding and threw his legs over the bed, feeling the floor stress under him. He drew back the window curtains and stared out at the late morning Brooklyn streets.

Their apartment was not the pinnacle of luxurious living, just another dingy living space amongst many in the housing projects of eastern Brooklyn. It held a single bathroom, two bedrooms, a tiny kitchen area, and their living room, complete with a couch and television. Sora sighed and entered the bathroom, turning on the shower and waiting for the water to warm.

"You know," Roxas called from somewhere down the hall, "mom hasn't been back for a while."

Sora said nothing, waving his hands under the cool jet of water, willing the temperature to rise.

"It's just," his brother continued, "she's usually back by now, y'know? I mean, I know she does what she – I'm just saying, she usually doesn't take this long."

Sora closed his eyes; his brother had a tendency to ramble when he was nervous. His hand was beginning to turn numb under the cold stream.

"I'm thinking maybe we should – uh, maybe we should go look for her, maybe?"

The jig was up; the temperature would not budge.

" _Goddamn it!"_ Sora seethed, he turned the nozzle shut, quickly brushed his teeth, and stormed back into his room, hurriedly pulling on a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt before exiting into the living room.

"Sora? Did you hear what I said?"

"I fucking heard," Sora muttered.

"Well, what do you think?" his brother queried, he was all dressed up in his typical attire, ripped jeans and a long sleeved black shirt. When they didn't have enough money for designer rips, Roxas took it upon himself to carve out his own. When Sora had asked why he had done it, Roxas said he had wanted "greater authenticity", whatever that meant.

"I think mom's gonna do what she's gonna do, and until then we have to worry about ourselves. I'm going to go get us some food, you want anything?" Sora asked.

Roxas shook his head mournfully.

"Okay," Sora said, "While I'm gone, why don't you see what's up with the hot water," and then he pulled the door shut behind him and was off.

Brownsville Brooklyn, Sora had been born and bred in this neighborhood. In fact, he couldn't recall a single time in his life that did not occur somewhere on these streets. He had always found, trying to peer across the East River at the city skyline, that his view was obstructed by smog, or simply other buildings.

He strolled down the sidewalk, trying not to breath in too much of the muggy air that was bearing down on him. The smell always repulsed him; it stank of sewage and discarded litter. He paused at the appropriate crosswalks, waited for the streetlights to turn red, and pressed onwards. He was nearing his destination, the little old Deli run by a jovial old fellow, Pete. He'd been a patron of Pete's Deli for so long now that his weekly runs to the store had become nigh ritualistic. Pete knew exactly when to expect him, down to the very hour.

The door jingled as he entered, not very crowded today, then again it never really was.

"Ah, Sora, I was beginnin' to get worried there," Pete greeted from behind the counter, the smile never leaving his face. It never did, Sora noted to himself.

"Hey Pete," he smiled back to the very best of his ability. He had to pride himself on trying.

"So what'll it be today? Just got a new shipment of smoked ham, top line stuff," Pete grinned.

"Oh, I don't know," Sora let himself linger at each item on display, his fingers tracing their packaging aimlessly.

"How's yer brother doing? He hasn't been around for awhile," Pete noted. Sora could tell he was trying to keep the unspoken question out of his tone, but he had acquired an ear for that.

"Yeah, yeah, he's fine. Got a job, I think," Sora nodded to himself. There was a discount on all white meats. Was it a holiday?

"And yer mom?"

The whole chicken looked very tempting. Only nine ninety nine for the day, what a bargain!

"She's good."

He took the chicken off the shelf and handed it to Pete, who promptly rang it up for him and placed it in a bag. Sora deposited the munny on the counter.

"Keep the change," he said, motioning for Pete to leave it as he dug into the register. Pete only too happily complied.

"Things're lookin' up, I tell ya," Pete said as he handed Sora the bag, "All the new folk comin' in down from the north, got all them rich kids coming down ta buy whatever. Was afraid I was gonna have to shut down for awhile there," Pete's mouth curved into another big smile. "Say, doesn't school start soon?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sora replied, "tomorrow."

"Oh, well, good luck to yer, I remember when I was your age…"

At this point Sora tuned out, nodding and mumbling an assent when necessary, then he gathered up his chicken and bade farewell to Pete, all too eager to speed out the door.

Back on the streets, Sora hurried back the way he came. He had spent longer than he would have liked listening to Pete chatter on. Get in and get out - that had been his refrain, the one he would repeat over and over in his head every time he had to venture out into Brownsville. But God enjoyed playing dice.

"Hey!"

Sora halted unwillingly, the rough voice stopping him in his tracks.

"Ay! Where dya think you're going?"

He turned and was greeted with the sight of the three young gentlemen he had come to acquaint himself with over the past summer. Huey, Dewie, and Louie, friends with oddly similar names, they were the neighborhood goon squad, as he liked to think of them. They'd taken an interest in him one day when he'd cut through an unfamiliar neighborhood in the interest of saving time. He had barely escaped with his bones intact. Ever since, they'd made sure to try to catch him on his way home from the deli.

His heart was pounding and he could feel his legs growing weaker as they approached. Running looked to be the only option, but where? Home? If they knew where he lived that would be the end of it.

"Whaddaya got there, huh?" Dewie hollered, pointing at the bag in his hand. Sora opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out.

"Whas' the matter? Are you scaaaared?" Huey jeered. "Don't worry; we just want what you got there."

"It's mine," Sora mumbled.

"What? What was that?" Louie called, putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't hear ya, wanna say that again?"

Feeling had returned to Sora's legs. He took a short breath and kicked himself backward, speeding off down the road. He could hear the boys calling behind him.

"Ay!"

"Get back here!"

He sprinted ahead, down and down the street, winding his way between cars and people, ahead and ahead, putting as much distance between him and them as he could manage. He ran and ran and ran.

Finally, when he was certain he'd put a suitable distance between himself and the boys, and his legs felt like they were about to burst, he stopped. Bending down to catch his breath, he looked down at his chicken. It had been mashed about in its package, the chicken looking positively unwholesome and inedible.

He leaned against the wall of an alley, the dank and musky stench of garbage seemingly wafting out from the concrete, and he felt a ripple of anger course through him. He thought back to his own performance, his inability to speak in the face of the advancing hoodlums, and he felt shame.

His eyes burned and for a moment he thought he would cry, but he took a breath and peeked out from behind the alley. Satisfied that the danger had truly passed, he trudged down the street and back towards home, making sure to stick close to the alleyways.

Roxas was still there when he entered the apartment, feet stretched over the length of the couch and dozing off. He looked up as Sora shut the door.

"Hey, what'd you get?" he asked.

"Chicken," Sora simply replied, emptying the malformed chicken onto the kitchen table.

"That's chicken?" Roxas asked skeptically, getting up to take a closer look.

"That's chicken," Sora deadpanned.

"Um…can I ask what happened to it?"

"It was a long walk."

"Okay?"

"Heat it up when you're hungry," Sora droned, moving to return to his bedroom.

"Um, alright. Yen said they're doing renovation on the pipes, so the water should – "

"Great," he slammed his door shut.


	3. Kairi

_**quick updates I know, but it's just pouring out of me. If you're enjoying it then leave a review, or if you just wanna put me on blast that's fine too**_

* * *

He lay awake that night, staring up at the weathered indentations that marked his ceiling like potholes.

Over and over, he replayed the day's events in his mind. Over and over, he went back and relived the moment he heard that voice

( _hey!)_

and stopped. Why did I stop should've walked should've walked should have just kept going why did I stop why

He heard a noise, something creaking in the hall. Roxas, he thought to himself. It was just Roxas, trying not to wake him up. He listened as the footsteps grew fainter, pausing around where the kitchen would be. Of course, Roxas could never get enough food. The boy was an eater from the day he was born, their mother had always said-

His stomach grumbled. He had hardly emerged from his room since he returned from the deli, venturing out only to relieve his bowels and take a bit of that chicken, which, despite the damage he had caused to it, still tasted alright. It was better than nothing, anyway. Now he was hungry again, but he just couldn't bring himself to stand, his mattress was not the most comfortable by far, but it got the job done, and right now he was too tired to move.

He listened to the sounds of Roxas munching on chicken and looked out the open window, curtains fluttering softly in the late summer breeze. The sounds of light traffic, of blaring horns and laughter and the thud of slamming doors drifted up into his room, and he himself began to drift.

He wasn't very much looking forward to the start of the school term. The district had undergone some renovation, all the smaller high schools spread out across the borough had been demolished and a much larger one built in their place. Conveniently located in the center of Brooklyn, the thing was three stories tall and was simply named Brooklyn High School.

Now entering his junior year, he wished he could say the previous two years had passed without much fanfare, but he would only be fooling himself. Sora sighed and turned away from the window, willing himself to fall asleep, if only for a few hours.

An enormous crash tore him from his deepening doze. He shot up and paused to listen.

"Mom?!" he heard Roxas cry, and he was up and out of the room, moving down the hallway and taking in the spectacle unfolding in his living room.

His mother, dressed in a jean skirt too small for her and a tiny pink blouse, was stumbling through the wide open door, staring up past her bewildered children and smiling dreamily.

"Mmmmello…" she slurred, almost toppling over. Roxas put an arm around her and led her to the couch, which she fell against like dead weight.

"Mom?" Roxas called again, putting his hands on her face and forehead. "You're burning up." He turned to Sora. "Get her a towel."

Sora stayed put for a moment, watching his mother groan on the couch with Roxas leaning over her. Then Roxas looked back at him, his face hardened and there was a fire in his eyes.

"What are you waiting for?! Get her a towel!"

Sora got to work, racing into the kitchen and grabbing a paper towel, he put it under the sink and allowed a thin stream of water to wet it. He handed it to Roxas, who placed it gently on their mother's forehead.

"What happened, Mom?" Roxas asked, keeping his voice measured and gentle. But Sora could hear him quiver.

"Mmmmmy babies…" she giggled. Her eyes turned from Roxas to Sora. "Oh, look at yooouuu…all grown up."

Sora turned away. He didn't want to see his mother look at him like that; he had seen it too many times before.

"C'mon, let's get you into bed," Roxas murmured to her, trying to get her to stand. Sora narrowed his eyes at him.

"Into bed? Whose bed?" he asked, watching as Roxas tried to wrap his arms around her and she, fighting him off, giggled madly.

"Just – would you help me here?!" Roxas growled, frustration evident in his tone.

"Just leave her there, she'll be fine."

"She's really warm, I don't want her to pass out," Roxas explained, giving up altogether and stepping back. Their mother sat, ogling the ceiling as if it were shooting off fireworks.

"Just get her some more towels through the night, she's good," Sora said, turning around and beginning to head back to his room.

"Sora, c'mon – "

Sora felt that familiar flash of anger tear through him and he whirled on Roxas.

"Don't _fucking_ tell me to come on. Look at her, stoned out of her mind and on who knows _what!_ She's not taking my room, she'll be gone before we even wake up and you know it."

He stomped back to his room and slammed the door shut.

* * *

Indeed, she was gone when they awoke.

He felt Roxas nudging his shoulder. Groggily, he lifted himself from his bed, stretching and letting out a yawn. One good look at Roxas was enough to understand what had happened. But the look on his face was gone as quick as it had become noticeable; his brother had always been good at hiding. Whether they were children playing a game of hide and seek or hiding something else, it was all the same, really.

Sora stepped into the shower, warm water flowing freely now. He wanted to at least make a decent impression, something between the spotlight and nonexistence would be nice, because honestly, what more could be asked for?

They got ready in silence and, as the clock struck six thirty, left their apartment and stepped out into the cool morning air. They were close enough to the school that they didn't have to take the bus, which was just fine as far as Sora was concerned.

The closer they came, the more crowded the sidewalks became. Other kids, few people Sora recognized, most he didn't, were also making their way to Brooklyn High. The sun was just beginning to grace the sky, sun glinting off the horizon and turning the sky a deep shade of blue-orange. He liked the mornings.

Within twenty minutes they were there, crowds of students milled about at the entrance, others were filing in through the double doors. Sora stopped and put his hand on Roxas's shoulder. His brother turned and met his eyes.

"You've got your schedule, right?" he asked. Roxas nodded.

"Guess I've gotta find the main office or something," Sora sighed. His brother's schedule had arrived in their mail, but his was strangely absent. He had waited and waited, hoping that it was just late and would arrive before that day, but no. He supposed it was too much to ask for the district to remember he existed.

"You want me to come with?" Roxas asked, but Sora could tell he was anxious to leave him. He did have friends, after all. Sora shook his head, "No, I'm fine."

Roxas gave him a quick smile and practically dove into the crowd, Sora was taken aback at his enthusiasm, he supposed staying cooped up in your project apartment most of the summer would make anyone eager to return to the educational social scene. He sighed again and pushed his way into the school.

Nobody spared him a second glance as he walked the halls towards where (he hoped) the Students Assistance Office was located. He entered the room, noticing a line of students had formed, stretching out from the front desk almost into the hall. Slightly irritated, he took his position at the back and waited.

He took the time to admire the walls, some may call it dull, blasé even, but he admired the blue-grey color scheme they had going on. From the walls to the ceiling down to the grimy white floor, it was clinical alright, but maybe that wasn't so bad.

He spent so much time admiring the walls, in fact, that he didn't realize the line had moved on without him until someone pushed him forward.

"Ow! What-?" he turned and found himself looking at the form of a very well-defined chest. Lifting his gaze upwards, he found himself staring into the turquoise colored eyes of who was without a doubt the most popular child in all of Brooklyn High.

"Riku…" the name fell from his lips, and suddenly he felt his face getting very hot.

"Are you gonna move or what?" Riku stared down at him with a mixture of disdain and annoyance.

"Y-Yeah, sorry," Sora whispered, not trusting his voice to see him through this close encounter safely. He walked up to the woman who was watching him pointedly behind the desk, she looked downright bored and her brunette buns bounced gracefully as she leaned forward.

"Can I help you?" she cocked an eyebrow.

Conscious of Riku's presence behind him, Sora swallowed. "My name is Sora, I didn't get a schedule over the summer, so…"

"Are you new?"

He shook his head.

"Huh. Sora, you said?" she turned her chair around and rolled over to a file cabinet, opening it and picking through the various folders within.

He nodded, and then realized she couldn't see him. "Yeah."

She hummed as she scoured the cabinet, tongue held firmly between her lips as she read the names on the files. Finally, she seemed to settle on one and pulled it out.

"Sora…Sora…here we are," she handed him a rectangular yellow slip. "There's your schedule. Need anything else?"

"No," Sora shook his head, "thank you."

"Don't mention it," was her flippant response. She perked up when Riku approached. "Hello," she smiled.

* * *

The following periods passed in a blur. Sora sat and listened to his new teachers drone on and on, he sat where he was told to sit, he paid no one any mind, and no one paid him any in return. He had ended up in a window seat at Trig, and staring out at above the Brooklyn rooftops he could see the city clear as day, its magnificent skyscrapers rising up and daring to brush the clouds.

 _A shining city on a hill_

He smiled. It didn't have to be all bad.

Then came Lunch.

He knew very well that he had no one to sit with, not that there was anyone in particular that he wanted to sit with. Roxas had his own table with his own friends, and whenever he would find himself approaching Roxas would look at him and give him a small shake of the head. He couldn't go to the library, he wasn't sure how that system worked yet and wasn't keen on making any major mistakes that would be sure to embarrass him further. No, he thought, he would have to bite the bullet and sit by himself; an action that was akin to social suicide, especially on the first day.

The cafeteria was spacious and he was trying to see over the heads of his peers when his foot collided with another. He could feel himself go and his heart leapt in his chest, he held onto his tray as tightly as his fingers would allow but it was already too late. His lunch splattered onto the floor and he promptly followed. Colliding face first into the goopy mess and concrete mixture that was now his lunch and the floor, the cafeteria went silent.

It was at this moment that Sora found himself, for the first time in his life, completely at peace with the concept of death. But first, he had amends to make. He lifted his face and turned himself over, expecting to find another unfortunate soul knocked out on the ground alongside him. Instead, he found Riku bursting out into laughter as he high fived his friends. Everyone else followed suit, an enormous droning laughter that rattled the very floor of the room. In his immense humiliation, he was able to take note of how much it sounded like buzzing bees.

He was seated on the cafeteria floor, face covered in cafeteria food, everyone watching him, everyone laughing at him.

He saw his brother trying not to look; his friends did not show the same restraint. Riku's table was all smiles, but he did see a blonde girl frowning, whether it was at him or her peers' reaction he wasn't sure. But what really caught his attention was the girl seated next to the blonde.

Her dark red hair cascading down to her shoulders, bangs parted on opposite sides of her head, her round indigo eyes, cute button nose, her lips, though turned downward in a frown, were full and pink.

She was without a doubt the prettiest girl Sora had ever seen, and she was looking at him.

The laughter was dying down, the occupants of the cafeteria looking at the scene before them uncertainly, perhaps waiting for retaliation.

Sora stood and Riku turned from his friends to look at him, as if challenging him to cross the line they both knew he would not. Sora was angry, he could feel his hands shaking, whether in embarrassment or rage he did not know, and in that moment he considered punching the silver haired heartthrob square in the face. But it was already too late, the impulse had passed. He was just a kid with food all over his face.

Head hung low, he exited the cafeteria.

* * *

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

He was seated in a guidance counselor's office, Aerith's, if the name on the door was anything to go by.

Sora said nothing, choosing instead to stare at the floor. Aerith was looking at him with a mixture of – what? Sympathy? Pity? He couldn't be certain.

"Sora, I can't help if you don't talk to me," she tried again.

"Shouldn't you already know? It's probably all over the school by now," he snarled, the venom in his voice catching even him off guard. Aerith leaned back in her seat, watching him, and he squirmed under her gaze.

"I just don't understand why this happens to me. Why this always happens to me," he grumbled morosely.

"Why what always happens to you?" she asked softly.

" _This._ Why am I in _your_ office on the first day of school?!"

"I don't think-"

"No," he cut her off, "you know what? I'm done, I'm leaving. Sorry for wasting your time," he stood up and left the room.

So focused was he on leaving the office that he failed to notice the girl in front of him until he had already crashed into her, sending them both sprawling onto the floor.

"Jesus Christ…" he said to no one in particular as he stared up at the incandescent ceiling light shining down upon him. Dazed he was. The whole day was beginning to feel like a bad dream. He strained his ears; he could swear the light was buzzing at him.

"Um…are you okay?" a soft voice broke through the fog of his auditory investigation.

"Not in the least, thanks for asking though," Sora replied as he pulled himself up, turning to the source of the inquiry.

What he saw sent his brain into meltdown mode. The red haired girl from Riku's table was looking at him with the utmost concern in her eyes. It was then that he realized she was the one he knocked over.

"Oh – God, I'm really sorry! I didn't see you, I was just trying to – well, I'm sorry," he finished lamely, head down, fully prepared to get chewed out.

She began giggling, surprising him enough that he lifted his head to stare at her incredulously. She held out her hand.

"I'm Kairi."

"Kairi," he tested the name on his lips. He liked it. She looked at him curiously, his eyes widened upon realizing she was waiting on him.

"Sora!" he said, clasping her hand and shaking it, something he had to restrain himself from doing too vigorously. It was very warm. "I'm Sora."

"Sora," she mimicked him, looking past him and pretending to consider it. "It's nice to meet you, Sora," she smiled.

"Yeah, likewise," he nodded. They let go of each other's hand and stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"So, are you here to see Aerith?" he asked, and immediately chided himself. What kind of question was that?

"Yeah," she nodded, her smile wavering just a bit. "I see her sometimes."

"Oh," was all he could say. He knew they were dancing around the fat elephant between them, he remembered the look on her face as he sat on the cafeteria floor and the entirety of the eleventh grade student body was having a laugh at his expense.

"So what are they saying about me?" he nodded towards the hall. She looked back at the door and then at him, eyes widening. Was that guilt he saw?

"Nothing!" she said, all too quickly. "Well, you know," she said, as if that explained it all, and really, it did.

"I do know," Sora responded, suddenly finding his feet very interesting.

"Kairi!" called a voice behind them. He turned around to see Aerith watching them curiously. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up. I see you've met Sora."

"Yeah," Kairi smiled again. He liked it when she did that. "I've gotta go," she said apologetically.

"Yeah, yeah, don't let me keep you," Sora said, stepping out of the way so she could pass by. She walked towards Aerith's office and then turned before she reached the door.

"I'll see you around?" she asked, and he couldn't help but catch the hopefulness in her tone.

"Yeah, you'll see me around."


	4. Growing Pains

**_thanks to everyone who's reviewed/followed_**

* * *

They were seated at the kitchen table, munny piled unceremoniously at the center.

"This is all the munny I have in the world," Roxas said.

"It's not much," Sora observed.

"No," Roxas shook his head, "it isn't. We aren't going to be able to pay the rent next month, and definitely not living expenses, not with what I make and definitely not with what mom brings home."

"Okay," Sora nodded, "I'll go find a job."

Roxas looked at his brother and Sora saw something in his eyes that he'd never seen before, but it was gone in an instant; replaced by the stoicism that had gradually grown on him over summers past.

"You don't have to do that, I'll handle it," he said.

Sora raised an eyebrow. "How do you plan on doing that?"

"Don't worry about it, just keep doing what you're doing little bro," Roxas smiled.

There it was. Sora felt the irritation that had been gnawing at him claw ever more ferociously at his innards. He clenched his fists.

"How are you going to get enough money for us to pay the rent _and_ have enough to eat at night?" he asked.

"I said don't worry about it. I haven't let us down before, have I?" Roxas smiled.

"Why shouldn't I get a job? I'm old enough; I'm three months behind you. I would've done it a long time ago," he muttered.

"I don't want you to have to worry about it, that's all," Roxas assured him. "Don't you wanna be a kid?"

"I want to _help_. Do you really expect me to sit around all day and do nothing while you're out there? Even mom does better. What's your problem exactly?"

Roxas stared at him. "Nothing's my problem. It was just a suggestion," he shrugged.

"Well, why don't you worry about yourself and leave your suggestions _wherever the fuck._ "

There was a moment of stunned silence before Roxas leaned back in his chair and narrowed his eyes at him. Sora suddenly found it very difficult to hold his gaze.

"You weren't always so angry."

Sora had no retort. Understanding their conversation to be over, Roxas stood up from his chair and made for the door.

"Where are you going?" Sora asked as his brother stepped into the hall.

"Out," he replied.

"Where's out?"

" _Out,"_ the door closed behind him.

" _Thanks for sticking up for me at lunch by the way!"_ Sora shouted after him, standing up so quickly that his chair crashed onto the floor behind him, "You were a real _fucking_ help!"

Silence responded in kind. There was nothing and nobody. He was alone. He glanced down at the munny on the table and sighed. He ambled down the hall into the bathroom and stared at his reflection in the mirror.

He had always been more on the scrawny side, but he could see that his chest had become more defined, its outline pressing into his shirt. His bright blue eyes and wildly spiky hair that he could never seem to tame, his slightly tanned skin and the faded dimples on his cheeks; he wasn't anything special.

"Just another kid," he murmured, smirking humorlessly. He thought back to what Roxas had said. He didn't really get angry often, did he? Maybe when the situation called for it, but surely he didn't possess an actual temper. People had always commended him on his laid back nature.

Images of his encounter with Kairi flashed through his mind. He had been fairly calm then. Yes, he nodded to himself, very calm.

Contrary to what he had said to her, he hadn't really seen her around in the week that had followed their encounter. Sure, he saw her walking the halls, usually alongside Riku and the other high status kids, and maybe he had tried to get her attention a few times, staring at her a bit longer than what would have been deemed socially acceptable. But she never looked his way.

It was to be expected, he supposed. She came from the affluent Carroll Gardens over on the west side, which she had spoken quite highly of when they were giving their introductions in English. She had been forced into Brooklyn High like all the others when every other school had been torn down. He, on the other hand, was just another kid from Brownsville. It was a miracle that she had even spoken to him.

He heard the click of the front door opening. Roxas must've come back for something. Oh well, he had nothing to apologize for.

A loud crash startled him from his thoughts. He rushed out into the living room and was greeted by the sight of his mother on the floor, arms wrapped around their television. Her head was swaying from side to side and a groan escaped her lips.

"Sora…"

"What the hell are you doing?" he chided, grabbing the television from her hands and placing it back in its place on the stand.

"I just…need a little munny," she croaked.

"You've got enough," he said, looking at the little pouches sticking out from her pockets. "Were you trying to steal our tee-vee?"

"This is my house too," she whined. "Why you gotta treat me like this?"

Something inside him snapped at her remark and he grabbed at her munny pouches, digging through her pockets and ripping them out in spite of her violent protests. She grasped at his arms, but her grip was weak. She was weak.

"Go. Get out," he pointed at the door, having seized everything in her pockets and tossing them onto the kitchen table. "I want you gone."

"Do you know what I've done for this family?" she hissed at him, just barely managing to pull herself up.

"Nothing," Sora shook his head. "You've done nothing. And you're not going to do it anymore, so go. Keep what you earn."

"I'm not going anywhe-"

He grabbed her arm, hauled her across the room, and pushed her out the door. She cried out and he slammed the door closed. Stepping back, he watched the door rattle under her futile outburst. He listened to her shout and shout, expletives and abuse pouring out of her, until finally, she was gone.

He felt himself shaking. He had never acted so forcefully, so decisively. He wasn't sure what had compelled him to do it, but he knew he hadn't thought it through like any rational actor would; hadn't thought it through like he normally would; usually did. He looked at the pouches of munny on the table, complementing Roxas's contribution.

He smiled.

* * *

He was seated in Trig, staring out the window at the misty skyline. The rain was pattering onto the window and he watched with vague interest as the droplets slid down the window and left wet trails in their wake. He was dimly aware of the teacher going on about something.

"Sora?"

He had hidden the pouches under his bed. He couldn't have Roxas finding them and asking where they came from. His brother had taken to ignoring him, at least, ignoring him as much as he could. That was fine as far as Sora was concerned. But there weren't very many people to talk to other than Roxas.

"Sora?"

What would he have done, had he come home and found their mother waiting outside, tossed out by her own son? Roxas would've given him an earful, that's for sure.

" _Sora_."

He snapped to attention. His teacher, and the rest of the class, was staring at him. He felt that hated heat rising to his cheeks once again.

"Yes?"

"Can you answer the question, please?" his teacher asked irritably.

"Um…can you repeat it?" Sora asked. Someone snickered.

"Forget it," his teacher sighed. "Anyone?"

He slouched miserably in his seat. He had it coming, he thought; can't let your guard down in high school. Suddenly, a tiny white paper slid onto his desk. He glanced to his right and his eyes met those familiar violet ones that he had failed to extirpate from his thoughts. Kairi was looking at him and gave him a small smile. He looked down at the paper and unfolded it. It was a note.

 _He's really a jerk :)_

His stomach did a little somersault. Her handwriting was very nice, cursive and feminine. Somehow he had expected it of her, the smiley face she drew bringing a smile onto his own. He tore a tiny piece of paper out of his notebook and picked up his pen.

 _I know. I have no idea what he's saying._

He looked to Kairi, who was watching him expectantly. She was seated two rows over; a girl with long brown hair that curved up on either side was seated between them. He hesitated, unsure of what to do. Kairi motioned towards the girl, and after making sure that the teacher wasn't looking, he hesitantly handed the note to her.

She gave him an odd look that clearly indicated she wasn't pleased with being the intermediary, but took it and passed it to Kairi anyway. He watched her open the note and was happy to witness her suppress a giggle. She wrote something else and passed it on.

 _Do you always space out like that, you lazy bum?_

He couldn't help but chuckle.

 _I try not to but this class is making it very difficult_

 _I see. It's quite boring isn't it?_

 _Very much so._

 _So how are you?_

He wasn't sure what to make of that one, but he went along anyway.

 _I'm fine. You?_

 _I'm great._

Their miniscule amount of topics conducive to small talk had all but run out. He wasn't sure what to say, but she seemed like she was enjoying their clandestine back-and-forth. Before he could stop himself, he took them into what he knew was risky territory.

 _Are you friends with Riku?_

He didn't watch for her reaction and she did not respond as quickly as she had before. That's a wrap, he thought to himself. Just as he was giving up hope of ever receiving a response, the paper slid into view.

 _Yes._

He felt a sinking feeling in his chest. He looked over at her, but she was staring down at her desk. Never before had he imagined how much one word could hurt, but here he was. Besides, it wasn't exactly new information, she was always with him. He responded in similar fashion.

 _Why?_

The inanity of the situation was beginning to make itself apparent. All available sensory data suggested she was one of them; popular, rich, attractive. Yet she took the time to initiate conversation with him. There was something wrong with this picture.

 _It's complicated._

Complicated. He had heard that word used before and in many different contexts. But this was something else.

 _How?_

The bell rang and he jumped in surprise. The teacher was reminding his students to study, the kids were chatting and laughing, and Sora could no longer make out Kairi in the crowd that swallowed her as it pushed its way towards the exit.

He sat alone.

* * *

He arrived home to find Roxas drawing excitedly on a piece of paper at the table.

"What's up?" Sora asked hesitantly, closing the door behind him.

"We're having a party," Roxas proclaimed without looking up. He scribbled hurriedly on his paper.

"Um, no we're not," Sora said.

"Why not?" Roxas whined, looking up at him. Sora stared at him incredulously.

"Are you living in the same apartment as me?" Sora asked, gesturing at the walls around them.

"Yes, that's why we're gonna have to clean up. And this," he held up his paper, "is everything we're going to need."

"Weren't you the one just saying how dire our financial straits are?"

"Let me worry about the munny, just help me do this, please, I'm begging you here," Roxas pleaded.

"It's not a good idea."

"C'mon Sora, do I ever ask you for anything?"

"Why do you even want to have a party? Who would come here?"

"Just some people from school, friends. That's all," Roxas assured.

"Friends? How many?" Sora questioned.

"Not a lot, I promise. I just think this could be good, you know. For us."

"For us," Sora made a face. "How?"

"I don't know," his brother shrugged, "You can get to know some people, it's not such a bad thing."

"A party," Sora repeated.

"Yeah, a party," Roxas nodded.

"I-"

He had nothing to lose.

"Okay."


	5. Humble Beginnings

**_first update of 2016, enjoy!_**

* * *

"So, how are things?"

He was seated in Aerith's office, thankfully having been called down to her office before the bell rang for lunch, though he would never admit how grateful he was for that. He had been directed to sit in one of her big brown leather seats and he couldn't help but enjoy how deeply he sank into the cushion. He noticed a framed photo of a dog displayed on her desk.

"What kind of dog is that?" he asked.

"What?" she followed his gaze to the picture, "Oh, he's mixed breed something. I guess I just never bothered to check what exactly. His name is Pluto, do you have a dog?"

"Too expensive."

Aerith nodded. "So, how're you finding the school year so far? Have there been any other incidents?"

"No," Sora shrugged, "Nobody really bothers me, or with me, I should say," he smiled wryly.

"Sora," she looked at him with that same look she had given him on the first day. "I know this is something you've probably heard a million times before, but opening up could really do wonders-"

He held up a hand. "Trust me, I know. My brother says the same thing."

"Roxas," she smiled. "How is he?"

"He's fine. He wants to have a party."

"A party?" she questioned.

"Yeah, a party. It's supposed to be tonight, at our apartment."

She considered this for a moment. "And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know," Sora admitted, "I guess it's fine. I wonder where he gets the munny from, to pay for all the stuff we're using…" he trailed off.

"Do you think he's doing something illegal?"

"What? No! No…he would tell me that," he said.

Aerith looked at him for a long moment and he turned away, choosing instead to focus on a pebble lying on the floor.

"Okay…is there anything else you want to talk about?" she asked.

"I've been having this dream."

"Oh?"

"Yeah…I'm in a field and I'm walking, there aren't any landmarks or anything, no buildings, no trees, it's just a field that goes on forever…and I just walk forever."

"Hm," Aerith hummed thoughtfully, "What do you think that means?"

Sora shook his head. "I don't know."

* * *

Sora found himself walking away from home after the final bell had rung. He had, ever so often, found himself taking strolls through the streets of downtown Brooklyn. It wasn't so much the aesthetic of the borough that pleased him, that much he was certain of, but he found that he enjoyed the occasional solitary reverie. He took note of the gathering clouds and hurried along down the street.

"Hey! Sora!"

Sora cringed; he recognized the voice and had not expected it, his brief sojourns never led to actual encounters with other people. Nobody was supposed to find him here. Reluctantly, he turned to the source of the noise.

"Hey, Kairi."

"Hey," she panted, stopping for breath and leaning against a wall. He watched her, she was wearing the pink dress she seemed to always wear, adorned with an innumerable amount of odd zippers, her white top tucked comfortably underneath. It fit her nicely, Sora thought.

"Can I ask what you're doing here?" he queried, giving her a lopsided smile in an effort to appear affable.

"Well, I saw you walking this way and…I guess I got curious," she grinned at him.

"Yeah? Won't your friends wonder where you are?" he questioned, unable to keep the hint of hostility from entering his voice.

Her smile faltered a bit, but if his words had any impact, she didn't give it up easily. "No," she shrugged, "Do you mind?"

He shook his head. "Not at all," he began to walk and Kairi followed, quietly falling into step with him. They walked in silence for awhile. Not entirely uncomfortable, Sora noted.

"So," she piped, "are you excited?"

"Am I excited?" he repeated. She nodded. "For what?"

"The party," she said, looking at him as if he were an idiot.

Now it was uncomfortable. "You know about that?"

"Yeah," she said slowly, "I was invited."

"You were?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah…" she tilted her head questioningly, "this wasn't your idea, was it?"

"No," he laughed sheepishly. "It was my brother's."

"Ah," she nodded, "well, he invited a bunch of people."

"Great, so much for a few friends," Sora sighed.

"Well, I'm sorry," she said, and she sounded genuine. "I was planning on coming, but if you didn't know-"

"No, I want you to come. It just honestly won't be much of a party, our apartment isn't exactly a penthouse suite," he said.

"That's okay," she smiled, "it can't be that bad."

Sora said nothing, not quite feeling the need to argue the point. He found they were walking along the riverside, the city was visible just across the water. Rarely had he ever been so close, and rarely had he seen such pristine houses and clean streets. He stopped walking.

"I think we went too far," he said.

"No, we haven't," Kairi shook her head, "I live right over there," she pointed to a nice looking white house facing them just down the road.

"Oh…I didn't realize we were here," he said.

"Where's 'here'?" she asked, looking at him inquisitively.

"The Gardens," he said simply.

"The Gardens?" she laughed. "You make it sound like it's some kind of…prestigious place."

"It is," he said, amusement playing on his lips.

"I don't see it that way," she said, stopping outside her patio. Kairi turned and looked him in the eyes and he struggled not to look away.

"So…I'll see you around?" she asked innocently. Sora knew what he had to say.

"Yeah, you'll see me around."

* * *

Sora hardly recognized his apartment when he entered. The place had clearly been spruced up; there was neither a speck on the walls nor a chair out of place. A long table had been placed near the window, holding numerous non-alcoholic beverages. He had heard the stories of parties that had gone wildly out of control and wondered how his brother planned on seeing this one through.

"Oh, hi Sora," a voice greeted. He looked up to see Olette, one of his brother's friends coming down the hall. He had always thought she was kind of pretty; with her just-barely shoulder length wavy brown hair and fondness for Capri pants and tank-tops. The few times they had spoken had been courteous enough. He said nothing.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Fine," he replied. He hadn't forgotten how she laughed at his cafeteria mishap. "Where's Roxas?"

"He's in his room," she answered, pointing back down the hall.

"Thanks," he muttered, moving briskly past her and into his brother's room, where he found Roxas sifting through a drawer next to his bed. Sora shut the door behind him.

"Roxas."

His brother jumped upon hearing him, but relaxed when he saw it was him.

"Hey, Sora. Olette's just helping with the cleaning, Hayner and Pence are coming soon so-"

"What the fuck, Roxas?"

"What?"

"You invited _Kairi?_ From school?!" Sora cried.

"Well…no, I invited Riku," Roxas confessed.

" _What?!"_

Roxas quickly backtracked. "Well-wait! Just listen to me, I know how it sounds…but I think this could be good…"

"Good?! How is this in any way _good?_ Did you not see what he did?!"

"Yes, yes, I did. But I just figured if I got them to come-"

"Who's 'them'?" Sora interjected.

"You know…Riku, his friends. Those guys," Roxas explained.

"How is this…how did you even…" Sora trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Um…I'm kind of friends with…you know Naminé?" Roxas asked, rubbing the back of neck anxiously.

Sora shook his head. "I don't."

"Kairi's sister? Blonde?"

"I…" Sora thought back to that miserable moment on the cafeteria floor and remembered that flash of brilliant blonde, almost yellow, that he had witnessed and which had quickly been overshadowed by the crimson haired girl next to her.

"Yeah," Sora said. "I know her."

"Well, she helped me with this. Trust me, it'll be fine. If Riku starts anything, then he's out, I promise. Alright?"

It was a done deal. Sora knew further protest would do himself no good.

"Alright."

* * *

The slow, steady trickle of guests began filing in at seven, and for a short while Sora truly believed that they might actually get through this without any major incident. But as the trickle became a stream, and the stream a fountain, he quickly surrendered all hope. People were packed across the entirety of their apartment, the refreshments on the table replaced by beer coolers and bongs. Their refrigerator had been raided and emptied fairly quickly and the mass of people had spilled out into the hallway. Someone had brought multiple stereos and was blasting music. Sora could hardly hear himself ponder how the police had yet to be called on them over the buzzing of the crowd.

By eleven the party was in full swing, with people drunkenly attempting to dance and knocking over furniture in the process, a collection of young men in jerseys taking turns siphoning alcohol from a beer bong, and a haze of cannabis smoke pervading the apartment. To make matters worse, he had yet to spy Kairi in the crowd. He wasn't even sure if she had come. He couldn't blame her if she didn't.

In fact, he hadn't seen anyone he knew for several hours. He vaguely recognized some of the people from his school and from his position seated in the kitchen he could make out the outlines of others in the human sea that had become his apartment, but here he was truly lost amongst strangers. At the very least, he could pride himself on barring his room from the inside. He'd have an actual mattress to sleep on that night.

Someone vomited onto the floor next to him. He stood up in disgust and pushed into the crowd, attempting to carve a path to Roxas' room. He may not be able to stow away in his room, but Roxas was never one for thinking ahead.

After much effort, he pushed out of the crowd into the hall leading to their rooms. There weren't as many people here as in the living room, but it nonetheless surprised him how many people could fit into such a cramped space. As he expected, the door to Roxas' room was wide open. With a heavy sigh, he stepped over the people splayed out on the floor and into his brother's living quarters. The place was monumentally trashed.

He briefly considered leaving the apartment before he felt the fullness of his bladder pushing uncomfortably against him. He could, at the very least, hope the bathroom was in working order.

To his surprise, the bathroom door was closed. He knocked and received no answer. He turned the knob, but the door would not budge. The idea of someone inside lying dead against the door crossed his mind, and he felt his heart speed up in panic. He stepped back, conscious of the odd stares he was receiving from the people around him, and rammed his shoulder into the door.

The door swung open, revealing a very beautiful and very tearful Kairi. She started at the noise and looked up at him in wide eyed shock. He felt himself freeze, he didn't know what to do, he wasn't sure how to react, some people had cheered when he bashed the door opened and were now trying to get a look inside to see what the commotion was about.

Kairi sprung up and pushed the door shut, leaving them alone in his bathroom.

"Um…" Sora stuttered. Kairi looked at him with an indiscernible expression as he watched a tear slip down her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled. She sat on the toilet seat and looked down at the floor. She was wearing a pretty maroon dress that sparkled and hugged her body in ways that made Sora's chest tighten when he looked at it.

"Are you okay?" he asked. Of course she isn't, he mentally chastised himself.

She looked like she wanted to speak, to reassure him that she was alright, but her face crumpled into an even greater frown.

"No," she spluttered.

"Hey, hey," he saddled up next to her, nudging her so she would allow him to sit beside her, to which she gratefully complied. Hesitantly, he placed an arm around her.

"Whatever it is, it can't be as bad as this party right now. I mean, someone just threw up on my kitchen floor," he joked.

She laughed through her tears. He realized how much he liked hearing it.

They sat together on his toilet, listening to the wild sounds of unbounded youth sounding out just beyond the bathroom door. Sora's pulse began to quicken once again as Kairi pressed closer into him. She was really warm; he could feel the heat radiating from her body and could smell the scent of mangos wafting from her hair.

"I didn't know you had a sister," he spoke finally. He felt his face heat up when she looked up at him, confusion evident on her face.

"I mean…Naminé, right? I didn't know…she was your sister," he finished lamely.

"Yeah," she said, sitting upright. He saw a small smile grace her lips. "She really went all out for this, which isn't like her at all, I mean, she told me about it and everything. She never stops talking about your brother."

"She doesn't?" Sora questioned.

"I think she likes him," Kairi noted. "I think he likes her."

"How did I miss this?" Sora asked, more to himself than anyone else. Kairi turned to look at him. If he weren't so befuddled he would have noticed how close their faces were.

"Sometimes people can't see what's right in front of them," she whispered. He stared into her red-rimmed eyes, still swimming with tears, and he felt the urge to wipe the gathering pools away. He restrained himself.

"What's the matter, Kairi?" he asked softly.

And then she was kissing him, her lips pressing against his and her body pushing against him and he felt his arms wrap around her and pull her closer to him and hers go around his neck pulling him closer and he could feel her mouth open and her tongue tracing his lips and he opened his own and it deepened and his brain was going into overdrive he didn't know what he was doing all he could do was feel and

There was a rapping on the door and they quickly pulled apart. He looked to the door, their flustered breaths filling the pregnant silence.

"Kairi? Are you in there? Look, I'm sorry about the drinks, okay? It was stupid; you don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

It was a girl. Sora looked at her quizzically.

 _Selphie_ , she mouthed. He recalled the green eyed girl that had passed notes between them in class.

"Kairi?" the girl called again. The two remained silent, and eventually they heard the sound of receding footsteps, melding into the sounds of music and laughter. Sora let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room, the toilet rattled along with the vibrations of the stereo and the coordinated footsteps of dozens of drunken teens.

"Sora?" he heard Kairi's voice calling to him softly, almost a whisper.

"I should probably go," he said. Kairi looked down at the floor, in shame, in sadness, he wasn't sure. He could hardly process what had just occurred; his thoughts were a jumbled, discombobulated mess. If he tried to speak any more he was certain he'd be reduced to a puddle of blubbering goop.

He briefly reached for her hand, and then retracted it. He wasn't sure what he was doing. He stood up and exited the bathroom, gently shutting the door behind him and once again entering the inferno that was his apartment.

No sooner had he exited than he heard a deep voice that cut through the jovial chatter like a cleaver.

"Sora! Just the guy I wanted to see!" it boomed. He turned to the source, only to witness Riku emerging from the crowd of people and walking towards him. Sora swallowed hard.

"Riku," he acknowledged uncertainly.

"I wanted to talk to you," Riku said, looking down at him. Sora noted sourly that the boy was a head taller than him.

"Okay, go ahead," Sora replied.

"Outside," Riku said, nodding his head towards the front door.

"What's wrong with here?" Sora asked. Riku took a step closer to him, staring down at him unflinchingly.

"Outside," Riku repeated, his voice dropping several octaves.

"I don't-"

Before he could finish his thought, Riku grabbed him by the arm and hauled him into the crowd. He fought, he pulled, and he strained against the other boy's grasp to no avail as he was dragged out the door and through the building, until he was pushed out the front double doors onto the cold moonlit streets.

"What is your _problem_?!" Sora snapped, glaring at the boy who was beginning to seem like a harbinger of terrible events. He rubbed his aching arm.

"Ask your brother," Riku responded monotonously.

"My…?" Sora realized they weren't alone. Roxas was against the wall of their building with two others (Wakka and Tidus, he recognized) standing menacingly before him.

"What's going on?" Sora asked, and he couldn't stop his voice from wavering.

"Come on Riku, you didn't have to bring him out here," Roxas protested.

"Yeah, I did," Riku replied dully. "Since you don't seem to understand the meaning of the word 'payment', I'm going to spell it out for you."

"What is he talking about?" Sora asked, looking hard at Roxas, who was giving Riku a look of pure hatred.

"Your brother owes me a lot of money, I was kind enough to give him some extensions, but that's over now," Riku said. "From now on you and your brother work for me, and you're going to pay back every last cent, get it?"

"I don't get it," Sora shook his head.

"Then maybe you'll get this," Riku said, and he sent his fist straight into Roxas' stomach. Sora heard his brother's pained shout and watched him double over onto the sidewalk. Wakka kicked him in the side for good measure. Blood dribbled out of his mouth and Roxas groaned, holding his abdomen.

Riku turned his attention to Sora and bent down so they were at eye level. Sora backed up into the wall.

"Monday. I want you out here by noon. Don't make me come looking for you."

The three boys walked back into the building. Sora stood still, legs frozen, unable to move as Roxas coughed beside him.

The sound of their apartment echoed in the night.


	6. Cornered

_**Glad people are liking this so far. Fanfiction is being a bit wonky right now with reviews where they don't show up on the site, but they're still emailed to me so I can read them all. Anyway, enjoy.**_

* * *

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?"

The two were left alone in their ravished apartment. The dim glow of the early morning sun shone through their torn curtains and left shadows dancing on the walls.

"I got fired-"

"Jesus Christ, Roxas," Sora capped his hands over his head in disbelief. "When?"

"Three months ago…I guess," Roxas hung his head in shame and took a seat on the cleanest side of their couch.

"Three _months_? What have you been doing all this time?" Sora asked.

"Some odd jobs…here and there, nothing big." Roxas replied.

"I don't understand. Why do you owe Riku munny?"

Roxas was silent for a long while; he looked out at the rising sun and sighed.

"I started slinging."

"Oh my God."

"It wasn't enough…what I was making. You saw, we were barely making ends meet. What choice did I have? I had to do it. I went to Riku, asked him for work, he gave it to me." Roxas explained.

"Gave what to you, exactly?"

"Munny. A lot of munny, he called it an investment. Said that I could pay him back by carrying some of his dope, give him all the profits, and I'd be square."

"What is he doing with that stuff anyway?" Sora questioned.

"Don't you know? Guy's the biggest dealer in school, he's got people, friends, all over, who sell it for him. I don't know where he gets the stuff."

"So what happened?" Sora asked.

"I couldn't sell enough, not in the time he wanted me to. He let it go at first, but then I got busted." Roxas said, looking anywhere but at him.

"You didn't," Sora huffed in disbelief.

"Yeah, I did," Roxas nodded. "I didn't have much on me, just a bit of grass. They let me go, but I guess that was it."

"Is that why you had this stupid party? All so you could - what - make _nice_ with him?" Sora exclaimed. Roxas closed his eyes and sunk his head into his hands.

"I don't know. I thought I could work something out- make it right somehow-"

"Well you did a great job of that," Sora bit out.

"Hey, I didn't _ask_ for this," Roxas remarked angrily.

"Well, _neither did I_. If you hadn't given me such a hard time about getting a job I could have helped…I could have…why didn't you come to me?"

"God, Sora. I don't know, maybe if you weren't in such a state all the time-"

"A _state_?"

"Yeah," Roxas said, the edge in his voice growing sharper. "Not talking to anyone, walking around like you're in a daze all the time, not-"

"Alright, _alright_. This isn't helping anyone. How much do you owe him?" Sora asked.

"A lot."

"How much, Roxas?"

"Ten thousand."

Sora turned away, he wanted to kick something, scream, bury his fist into the wall. He grit his teeth.

"We're ten thousand in debt," Sora chuckled humorlessly. He shook his head and looked at Roxas. "What were you thinking?"

He received no response. Roxas made to stand but let out a pained gasp and clutched his side. "Do we have any Tylenol?" he asked.

"This place is a mess," Sora said, absentmindedly scanning their apartment. Mounds of trash were piled all across the room, furniture was left askew, and the table Roxas had purchased was lying in a corner and missing some of its legs. The smell of vomit lingered in the air.

"Look, it's going to be fine, alright? It always is," Roxas insisted. The words sounded to Sora like a far off drone, buzzing somewhere in the distance.

"What do we do? Can we go to the police?" Sora asked. Roxas shook his head. "We can't do that," he said.

"Why not?"

"What do you think they'll do to us, if we go to them? When they find out how we live, _where_ we live? We'll be out of here so fast, they'll separate us. No, we can't give up, not like that," Roxas shook his head vigorously.

"So what, we just do what he says then? Bend over? Just go outside on Monday and…what? What does he want us to do?" Sora questioned.

"Probably what I did," Roxas said. "He's going to make us sell drugs."

* * *

They got to work cleaning the apartment in silence. Sora ran his mop across the kitchen floor, moving it gently from side to side and listened as the swashing of the water punctured the tense silence.

He had hardly found a moment to think. His brain was running a million miles a minute, going through the bombshells Roxas had dropped upon him over and over. The past twelve hours had passed in such a confused frenzy that he had just barely managed to grasp the fact that he had experienced his first kiss.

 _I kissed Kairi_

No. Rather, she had kissed him. He wondered if leaving had been the right thing to do. She was upset, about what he could only guess. The feel of her lips on his was etched into his thoughts and the memory of their mouths briefly melding sent his heart into a flutter. But what had she been thinking? He couldn't shake the question. Why had she done it?

He liked it, he was almost certain of that. More than anything, he wished he could just sit her down and talk to her.

"Oh," Roxas spoke, "I know it's not really much, but, um, I got you this," he held out a small white bag to Sora.

He took it, giving Roxas a questioning glance and pulled out its contents. It was a phone.

"It's a flip phone; I figured you could use it. I've got one too," Roxas said, giving him a small lopsided smile. Sora examined the small phone in his hands.

"Thanks, Roxas," he said, and he meant it.

"No problem."

* * *

It took them a long while, but as the morning gave way to noon and the sun soon began to set, their apartment had been set back in working order. Roxas dumped the last bag of garbage into the trash bin; he dusted his hands and leaned against the wall.

"Not too bad, huh?" he chimed.

"I guess not," Sora said. "How's your stomach?"

"It's fine, doesn't hurt much now," Roxas assured, giving his side a pat.

"So..." Sora sat down on the newly cleaned couch; it squeaked under his weight. "Now what?" he asked.

Roxas shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. Just stick with me, follow my lead, and you'll be fine. We're going to be fine," he vowed. It was becoming a near constant refrain with him, Sora noted. Roxas took a seat next to him and they sat in the quiet of their apartment. Sora felt himself drifting, he was so tired and the urban sounds of the outdoors filtering in through the open window were lulling him into a peaceful slumber.

Roxas ran a hand across his forehead. "Have you seen mom?" he inquired.

"What?" Sora's eyes snapped open.

"She hasn't been back in a while. I know I shouldn't worry, she always makes it back, I just don't want to have to go out looking for her," he said.

Sora thought back to his last encounter with their mother. He remembered that burning, seething anger that had torn through him when he saw her standing in their living room. He remembered the loss of control.

"Yeah…I don't know," Sora responded, trying to keep his voice even.

"She hasn't come back? You haven't seen her?" Roxas asked, looking at him with anxious eyes.

He thought of the pouches of munny hidden under his mattress.

"No."

* * *

The weekend passed quickly, quicker than Sora would have liked. Time always had a way of accommodating one at the worst of times. He lay awake as Sunday night transitioned into Monday morning and he stared up at his ceiling, the nervous tension deep within his intestines growing, tightening its grip while the hours ticked away. He succumbed to the tiredness as the sun began its perennial rise.

Somewhere beyond the haze of light sleep he heard the sound of a door opening.

"C'mon Sora, we gotta go."

Wordlessly, Sora pulled himself off his mattress and went into the shower. He stepped under the stream of warm water and reveled in the wet comfort it provided. He wanted at the very least to be clean before engaging in something dirty. After he was done, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a red t-shirt. Autumn was just beginning, but the weather remained fairly mild.

"You ready?" Roxas asked him as he walked into the living room. He didn't look nervous; in fact his expression was one of determination. Ever the optimist, Sora thought. Sora gave a nod and together they walked out the door and made their way down the stairs and out the building. By all accounts, it was a very nice day with hardly a cloud in the sky.

"Nobody's here yet," Sora observed. The street was empty, not a single passerby to be seen.

"We're a bit early, guess we'll wait," Roxas leaned against the very same wall he had been backed up against. And so they waited; five, ten, fifteen minutes passed before Sora sighted a familiar face coming down the sidewalk towards them. It was Tidus.

"Hey guys," he kept his voice neutral, but his greeting prompted Sora to raise an eyebrow. The sandy blonde haired boy paid him no mind.

"We ready to go?" he asked. Roxas nodded and they set off down the road.

Tidus led them through the streets and Sora's familiarity with their surroundings faded the farther they went. Dingy complexes and two story shops turned into residential homes and poorly maintained parks before they passed through an industrial area. Sora gazed at the tall grey buildings that rose up from the ground, their smokestacks spewing dark clouds that drifted up and across the neighborhood, covering the sky with their noxious fumes.

"We're here," he heard Tidus say, and they stopped.

"Sunset Park?" Roxas asked. Sora took in his surroundings, there were some docks farther off down the road, but the city itself was blocked by buildings.

"We're dropping Sora off here, you're going to Red Hook," Tidus replied.

"What? You're going to leave him here by himself?" Roxas questioned. Sora knew his brother was worried, but his words left a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"We've got people here, just go over there," Tidus pointed to a corner on the sidewalk across the street, "and they'll meet up with you soon."

Sora did as he was bid, with one last look at Roxas as he crossed the street and stood on the corner. Roxas and Tidus walked up towards the docks and were soon out of sight. He stood for a while, before his aching legs began to pound with pain and he sat down on a stoop, propping his head up with one arm. He watched beat up old cars pass down the street and several times wondered if they would stop and ask him for things he didn't have. Soon enough, he heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Are you the new kid?" someone asked.

Sora looked up into the deep blue eyes of a girl with messy jet black hair. His first thought was that she looked like Kairi. She was followed by another girl clad in a navy blue tank top and jean shorts who stood behind her and peered at him curiously.

"Yeah, that's me," he confirmed. The girl looked at him for a moment before offering him her hand, he shook it hesitantly.

"Xion," she greeted. "And this is Yuffie," she motioned towards the other girl, who waved at him.

"Sora," he nodded at them. "So, you guys are with Riku?" he asked. Xion laughed.

"I don't know if I'd put it like that, but yeah, we're with Riku," she said. Her statement piqued his curiosity, but he decided to let it pass.

"So…what do we do here?" he asked unsurely. Being in the presence of people, girls no less, with experience in this line of work was leaving him feeling a bit awkward.

"We sit here and wait for customers," Xion responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. She walked over to the side of the stoop Sora was seated on and lifted up a vase, pulling out a bunch of tiny baggies from under it. Sora held out his hand expectantly.

"Oh no no, none for you," she clucked, handing a few of them to Yuffie.

"Why not?" Sora asked, unable to keep the indignation out of his voice. He was here to do a job, wasn't he?

"Don't take it personally, you're new. For now, you just sit here and watch us, we'll show you the ropes," Xion explained calmly.

"Yeah! Don't worry about it!" Yuffie added cheerfully. Sora sighed and leaned back against the steps. What choice was there?

"Okay," he resigned himself.

So he watched. The hours passed quickly and Sora felt himself getting comfortable, the anxiety that had plagued him throughout the weekend dissipating rapidly. A couple of people came by looking to score and to Sora's virgin eyes the transaction did not seem overly complicated. Yuffie took the money and counted, sending the customers across the street to Xion once the amount had been confirmed. They switched roles regularly, keeping to a schedule of bi-hourly rotation.

It was nearing six o'clock when what could best be described as a ghetto car pulled up to the stoop. Ostensibly red but topped off with all sorts of peculiar graffiti, larger wheels than Sora had ever seen, and a thundering stereo, Sora figured this was the kind of patron natural to these corners. The car door opened and Sora's eyes widened when he saw Huey step out.

He quickly averted his gaze and stared down at the ground; Xion looked at him strangely as she got up and approached the boy. He heard them murmuring and then Huey was walking quickly towards Yuffie on the other side of the road. Sora breathed a sigh of relief, he hadn't been spotted.

He heard Xion counting the munny, whispering the numbers to herself, and then she shouted.

"Hey!"

Huey was already speeding away from Yuffie, tiny baggy swinging in the wind. Yuffie looked at them in confusion.

"He's short!" Xion shouted to her.

Yuffie snapped her head to Huey's quickly receding figure, and Sora saw her eyes harden. She was gone in a flash, sprinting down the sidewalk after him.

"Should we-?"

"Go," Xion said to him, looking him straight in the eyes. "See what happens to people who do that."

Sora jumped up off the stoop and jogged after them, he didn't want to run lest he invite suspicion from the occasional pedestrian. He couldn't see the two of them up ahead, they must have turned the corner, he thought. He stopped at the junction where the road met another and took a left into the neighborhood. He heard the distinct sound of shouting emanating from an alley up ahead; he breathed hard and pushed forward.

Sora turned into the alleyway and was greeted with the sight of a Yuffie standing dangerously over Huey, who was clutching his left arm tightly and whose head was turned fearfully into the brick wall. The little baggy dangled from Yuffie's fingers.

"Please…" he gasped, "I'm sorry."

"I see you around here again and you're done, got it?" Yuffie growled, bearing down on him.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," he nodded weakly.

"Good," Yuffie's voice returned to the initial cheer that Sora knew. She stuck the baggy in her back pocket and turned to leave, giving Sora a knowing look as she passed him by.

Sora remained rooted in place. He watched Huey whimpering on the ground, leaning against the wall and holding onto his arm which Sora now could see was bent at an odd angle. He seemed…

 _So small_

Huey managed to lift his head and their eyes locked. Sora saw the look of recognition flash across his face. There was no anger, nor the familiar glint of mischievousness.

Only fear.

* * *

Sora and Roxas arrived back at their apartment that evening, collapsing in a tired heap onto the couch. Sora had returned to the girls, paying no heed to their questioning glances, and sat himself down on the stoop until the sky had darkened suitably and he was relieved of his quite stimulating responsibilities. He called Roxas on his flip phone and together they met up and trudged the rest of the way home in silence.

"Rough day?" Roxas chortled, looking over at him.

The smallest of smiles touched Sora's lips.

"Not so bad, actually."

* * *

They returned to school the next day. Though only a weekend plus holiday had passed, it seemed like a lifetime had been spent beyond the grey walls of the building and now that he was back, he wished for nothing more than to leave. The teachers and the students played their little game, ran their little race, cat and mouse, queen and worker bees, master and slave, going on and on, drowning everything else out.

He was sitting in English when the teacher announced their coming group project. A report, she said, on the intricacies of _Fear and Loathing_. She would be choosing the groups, and those with issues could appeal after the fact. Sora felt the familiar feeling of sickly anxiety settling over him, taking root deep within his chest. This was what he had feared, and of course it was only natural that all his fears would come to fruition.

"Rikku and Tidus."

She was reading names off a list. It was all very carefully contrived.

"Wakka and Selphie."

Suffering was suffering. But this was something else.

"Olette and Hayner."

It was always something. Creeping just around the corner, waiting to leap out and leave you reeling.

"Sora and Kairi."

The words slammed into him with the full force of a cargo ship careening bow first into a wooden dock. He made sure not to move, not to give off the slightest indication that he had been blasted off balance by the realization that Kairi was now his partner in what was bound to be a weeks long, if not months long, school project. He was going to have to face her, speak to her. Now that his fantasy had become reality, he wasn't sure if he could handle it.

The bell rang and he jolted up, pushing through the crowd of people in a desperate effort to escape, but it was too late. He felt a hand clasp his wrist as he started down the hallway, and reluctantly turned to face the girl he knew was standing behind him.

"Can we talk?" Kairi asked him, he could hear the quiver in her voice. Nerves, perhaps.

"Yeah, of course," he conceded. He leaned against the lockers and waited expectantly. Kairi took a deep breath, taking the time to conjure up the words he knew were coming.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry," she stated firmly.

"Okay," Sora nodded. Kairi looked at him, clearly expecting more.

"Do you hate me?" she asked tepidly, fiddling with her hands behind her back.

 _Hate you? I hardly know you,_ he wished he could say. He settled for something less inflammatory.

"Of course not. We're partners now, aren't we?" Sora gave her a big smile, which appeared to put her at ease, the tension seemingly deflating from her shoulders.

"Yeah," Kairi returned his smile. "I'm glad you're my partner," she said.

"Me too," he concurred.

"So…friends?" she offered, her hopeful eyes betraying her cooling demeanor. He had to give her credit.

"Friends."


	7. Sanctuary

"Something's bothering you."

He was back in Aerith's office. He no longer had an excuse for coming; it was starting to feel like a safe haven.

"I'm fine actually, thanks," Sora said.

"Then you wouldn't have come here," she smiled sympathetically. That was one thing Sora could appreciate about Aerith, she wasn't judgmental, and she didn't try to one-up you. Being in her office was like taking a warm shower, soothing.

"I don't know…I got a job," Sora offered.

"Oh? And how's that?" she asked. He knew he couldn't elaborate, but general discontent was fair game.

"Eh," he shrugged, "not really something I'd wanna be doing, but we need the munny…"

Aerith nodded. His words lingered in the air as he wracked his brain for something else to speak about.

She came to his rescue. "How are things at home?"

Sora considered this for a moment. "They're fine, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, the party was kind of a mess, my brother's an idiot, we've got serious financial issues, and my mother sure isn't helping. So yeah, I _guess_ ," he spoke with barely concealed anger. His hands were beginning to shake.

Aerith looked taken aback at his words, but her expression quickly reverted to that of gentle interest.

"It's just," Sora continued, "I don't know, I feel like – what's the point, you know? I get up, I go to school, now I go to work, I come home, and for what?" he shrugged. "It's the same, everyday. I just don't see it."

"Sora, do you have trouble sleeping?" Aerith inquired.

"What?" he gave her an odd look. "No."

"Fatigue? Loss of energy?"

"No."

"Restlessness, then?"

"No, what are you-"

"Feelings of worthlessness?" Like you've-"

"I'm not depressed," Sora interjected sharply. "I'm not," he repeated as she watched him unsurely.

"I just…" he trailed off; searching for the right assortment of words he knew existed that could explain everything.

"It feels like maybe this is _it_. Like I've got the short end of the stick now, and that's all there is to it. This is my one shot at life and this is what I get? This is all there is?"

Aerith said nothing, silently urging him to continue. Sora obliged.

"I don't know why everything has to be so hard, because really it isn't. All the crap I have to put up with all the time, I just-" he shook his head, "I just wish I could shake it all off, forget it all, my brother, my mother, everyone, everything. I wish I could start over."

Sora fell silent, embarrassed of his outburst. He fidgeted under Aerith's watchful gaze.

"Apatheia," she spoke.

"What?" he asked, perplexed.

"Something the ancient Greeks devised. There was a school of philosophy, the Stoics, who believed the end goal of human ethics should consist in training oneself to become unperturbed by the passions, or emotion," Aerith explained.

"And they call philosophy art," he snorted.

"Well, nobody said art had to be in good taste."

* * *

He was strolling through the school courtyard, a pleasant little place located directly in the middle of the school. Used mostly as a shortcut to get to other parts of the building, the biology classes would occasionally venture out into its greenery to study the organisms that made it their home and the photography club would come out after school and take pictures of the scenery. Sora could understand why, the place was positively serene when one was alone.

Sora sat down on a small stone bench and stared ahead at a small pond, watching the water break as bright red goldfish darted up to the surface before diving back down into its depths. Perhaps being born a goldfish would not have been as stressful. Sora felt his phone go off in his pocket; he sighed and took it out.

It was a text message from Kairi. He felt his spirits lifting in spite of himself. They had exchanged phone numbers, ostensibly for the project, but Sora had a feeling she'd be initiating conversation if he didn't. He pressed open.

 _Wanna eat lunch with us?_

He frowned. Was that a serious question? She certainly wasn't stupid, she was firing off answers to questions in math class every single day that made Sora's head spin, she had seen the way he'd been treated on the first day of school; she must know he wouldn't be welcome at her table. He considered his response.

 _Probably not a good idea_

Sora sent his reply and waited. He couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of joy at the idea that she actually _wanted_ to eat lunch with him, which was a novelty in itself. She had been making quite the effort to get to know him, and they were having fewer problems than he had initially anticipated they would in disregarding the incident at the party. Don't ask, don't tell. His phone buzzed.

 _I'm not sitting with them_

Sora's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he absorbed this new information. Certainly, this was unusual. Rarely did he find Kairi separated from her group of friends, Riku included. Maybe they were all sick or something.

 _Who's us?_

A reasonable inquiry, he thought to himself. If she wasn't sitting with 'them', then who was 'us'?

 _My sister and your brother._

Different, very different.

 _Where are you?_

 _We're on our way to the courtyard_

Sora chuckled. Same, different, either way, he'd have no say in the matter. As if on cue, he heard one of the doors to the courtyard open and heard the distinct sound of his brother's laughter.

The three of them were coming towards him, though they were all so wrapped up in whatever the topic of discussion was that they had yet to notice him. He had seen Naminé plenty of times before, hadn't managed to catch her at the party, but he couldn't help but admire how her long blonde hair billowed out and fell over her head and down her shoulders. Something of a beautiful mess, she was a somewhat conservative dresser, but her petite figure jived very well with whatever she chose to wear, and today she was wearing a brilliant white dress that stretched down to the top of her legs. Upon further consideration, Sora found that she usually wore some variation of that.

Kairi looked stunning as well, with her crimson hair and her paralyzing figure. Sora almost loathed using such words in describing someone he knew, but a pretty girl was a pretty girl. They came from good stock.

Roxas noticed him first. "Hey, Sora! How'd you get here so fast?" he boomed. The girls turned their gazes to him.

"I was already here," Sora shrugged.

"Hi, Sora," Naminé said politely, giving him a small wave.

"Hey Naminé," he greeted. He turned to Kairi, who was looking at him with a pleased smile on her face.

"Hey," he said, then instantly regretted it. It was a simple acknowledgement, but to him it sounded loaded with unspoken history. Maybe it wouldn't be so easy.

"Hey," she responded in turn.

Nobody seemed off put by their tiny exchange, perhaps it was just him. Perhaps he was thinking too much. Roxas unfurled a white sheet.

"Let's eat, I'm starving," Roxas rubbed his stomach dramatically, laying out the sheet on the grass before pulling out bags of cafeteria food. Something reminiscent of a picnic, is that what this was? It was all very peculiar. Sora wanted to question, but he decided to go along with it.

"Yeah," he agreed, settling down onto the grass and taking a chocolate bar from the bag. Say what you want about school food, but he was at least glad they sold sweets.

"You should eat your greens," Kairi chided him humorously.

"I like chocolate," he replied simply.

"I noticed," she giggled.

"Did you guys get that project in English too, the one on that book?" Roxas queried.

"Yeah, we did. We're partners, actually," Sora said, looking over at Kairi.

"Really? You didn't tell me that," Roxas complained.

"You didn't ask."

"I knew," Naminé said cheerfully. She was staring pointedly at Kairi.

"Okay, it's not that big a deal," Kairi said, and to Sora's eyes, it looked as if her cheeks turned a faint pink.

"I got stuck with some guy; people call him Goofy or something. Pretty much the worst," Roxas divulged, pointing his hand towards his head like a gun and pretending to shoot himself.

"Don't say that," Naminé slapped him lightly on the shoulder. "I feel bad for him."

"Who is he?" Sora asked.

"He doesn't have a lot of friends," Kairi said, Sora noted how sullen she suddenly sounded. "He's always the last one without a partner in Gym."

"Oh," Sora considered this. Another one for the fire.

"Yeah, well, none of you have to work with him. Who are you with?" Roxas turned to face Naminé.

"Oh, a boy named Ventus. He's very nice, I think," Naminé remarked. Roxas turned away, noticeably disgruntled.

"Nice, huh?" he grumbled.

"Yes," she affirmed, taking a small bite of her lunch.

"I don't even understand what we have to do," Roxas bemoaned.

"It's kind of weird, you have to find a time your partner was…upset by something and then you tell your partner a time _you_ were upset by something. Then you relate it to the book and write a report together," Kairi explained.

"So…it can be about anything we were upset about?" Roxas asked, bewildered by her summary.

"Well, no. It has to be about something you thought would work out, something that you believed in, but something that didn't work," she clarified.

"Do we have to present it?" Roxas questioned.

"Yeah," Kairi nodded.

"Damn," he muttered.

They ate in a comfortable silence. Sora couldn't say that he exactly minded this, it was better than sitting alone in the cafeteria, and it was preferable to hiding out in Aerith's office. But its status as abnormal was precisely what was at issue. They were from different worlds, the two pairs of siblings. This anomalous outdoors venture flew straight in the face of conventional social hierarchy. Kairi should be eating with her friends, Naminé too. He knew that Roxas and Naminé had somehow become friendly; how that occurred he had not the slightest idea. Kairi, being her sister, would likely wish to accompany them if they were to go on a lunch date, wouldn't she? Was that what this was all about?

"Speaking of our project," Kairi spoke, "we really should get a start on it, so we don't fall behind."

"Yeah," Sora agreed. He was going to have a talk with Roxas later, that much he knew.

"Do you think you'd wanna come over, to my house? We could work on it there," Kairi suggested.

"Yeah," Sora said distractedly, before realizing what he'd just agreed to. "Wait, um-"

"Great," she bubbled, "is after school okay?"

He was in it now. "Sounds good," he said. There was no backing out.

* * *

Wednesday. Smack dab in the middle of the week. He wished he had more time to prepare. He stared at the clock as it ticked down to the final minutes of the school day, towards that golden 1:40 PM that made everyone cheer.

Everyone but Sora, of course. School was never his preferred way to waste away the day, but given his recent extracurricular activities he was beginning to appreciate it for what it was, a refuge. The clock struck one forty and the bell sounded off. The kids around him rushed to escape the confines of the classroom, pushing and shoving, laughing crudely as their timid teacher attempted to remind them of their homework over the roar of students now rushing down the hallway. Reluctantly, Sora stood and made his way through the wild crowd and out to the front of the school.

Kairi said she'd wait for him outside, but he couldn't catch a glimpse of her in the typical mess that the front entrance became as people filed out of the school. Sora walked out and stood by the sidewalk, hands in his pockets and rocking on the balls of his feet.

He saw her before she saw him, walking out of school with Selphie and some girl with blue hair, the three of them chatting enthusiastically, Selphie jumping up and down and Kairi laughing at something the blue haired girl said. Riku came out from the crowd and greeted them. Sora looked away, he didn't want to get caught staring.

He waited out in the open for awhile, before he felt a tapping on his shoulder. Sora turned to see Kairi smiling up at him.

"You ready?" she asked. Sora nodded. They began their walk to her home. Sora didn't feel the need to say anything, and apparently neither did she, because the quiet that stretched between them was not awkward, it just was.

The closer they came to Carroll Gardens, the more nervous Sora became. He already felt out of place the first time around, but entering one of the Garden homes was something of an entirely different magnitude. He imagined meeting her parents, their initial look of surprise when they laid eyes upon him. The very idea made him want to turn tail and run. He looked down at his clothes, just the usual jeans and a shirt. Nothing spectacular, nothing out of the ordinary, he was just average. Hopefully that was enough.

Sora knew they were close as they passed the familiar river bank that separated the neighborhood from the city. Apartments became residential homes; the houses took on a more affluent quality. Sora looked around to make sure no passerby's were looking at him and was satisfied when he saw nobody was. They had arrived. Sora trailed Kairi up the steps of her patio and to her doorstep. There was no turning back.

"My parents aren't home, so don't worry about that," she told him, and he breathed a sigh of relief. It was like she'd read his mind. She opened the door and Sora followed her inside.

It was about what he expected. Immediately he spotted the spacious den with the large fireplace, the kitchen with its marble countertops and the winding wooden staircase that led up to the second floor. Something Sora could only dream about. Kairi started up the stairs, when he didn't move she turned back to him.

"You coming?" she asked.

Sora nodded wordlessly and followed her up the stairs, where they entered a hallway that held numerous doors on either side. He wasn't even going to try to figure it all out.

"This is my room," she told him, opening one of the doors. Perhaps the most shocking thing so far was how mundane it looked. Nothing in excess, except for maybe the queen sized bed and the white woolen carpet that covered the floor; a desk, a few shelves holding makeup, a closet, brown walls, and a window comprised the totality of her room. Neat and tidy, but nothing like he'd imagined.

"It's nice," Sora commented. He could think of nothing more to say.

"I'm going to get changed real quick, wait for me here?" Kairi pulled out some clothes from her closet. He nodded and she left for the bathroom.

Here he was, alone in a girl's room, in _Kairi's_ room. Sora shrugged to himself and sat down against the bed; new experiences and all that. Kairi came in soon after and he was surprised to see her wearing black sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. He'd never imagined someone like her wearing something like

 _Like I would_

She noticed him staring. "What?" she asked, clearly amused by his gaping.

"Nothing," he said quickly.

Kairi down on her bed next to him and started rummaging through her backpack. She pulled out her copy of _Fear and Loathing_ and a notebook.

"I've always wanted to go to Vegas," she confided.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, something about being out in the desert and being able to see the stars…it's just really nice," she said.

"I know. You don't really get to see much of the sky here, with all the light," Sora said.

"I used to live somewhere where you could see the stars. Ever hear of Destiny Islands?" Kairi asked, lying down on her stomach. Her head was positioned right over his shoulder, and her voice so close to his ear sent chills down Sora's neck.

"No, I haven't. Was it nice?" he queried.

"Yeah," she answered. She said nothing more. Sora could tell there was something there, something more, the tension was quickly mounting.

He acted fast to defuse the situation. "We should probably start this," he held up his book. Kairi nodded and sat down next to him, so close that their shoulders were almost touching.

"I guess we have to talk about a time we were disappointed," she laughed. Sora smiled uncomfortably, he could think of more than a few times where he'd been disappointed. They looked at each other, unsure of how to proceed.

Something willed him to speak, and he found he was unable to resist the words that spilled forth from his mouth. "I used to think it gets better."

Kairi looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"This," he opened out his arms to emphasize his point, "life, I guess. I don't know."

Kairi looked away; seemingly unsure of how to react. He began to feel stupid for talking. Suddenly, Kairi faced him.

"I'm sorry," she said.

Sora's eyes widened at her words. "For what?"

"For Riku, for the way they treat you, I'm sorry."

"Well, it's not your fault," he dismissed her with a hand wave.

"It is," she insisted, "when I saw him do that to you on the first day, I was so angry. But I couldn't do anything," Kairi stared ahead at her wall, unable to meet his gaze.

"I…I get it, I understand. You don't have to explain yourself to me," Sora assured. Kairi ignored him.

"He wasn't always like that, you know," she said.

"Who? Riku?"

Kairi nodded. "We've been friends since we were kids, he used to live on Destiny Islands with me," she rubbed her shoulder nervously, "our dads ran a company together, but the economy went bad so we had to move here," she shrugged. "He wasn't always like that."

"Then what was he like?" Sora prompted.

"He was nice," she stared wistfully up at her ceiling, "he was kind, he was always helping people. But…" she trailed off.

Sora waited for her to continue with bated breath. Kairi shook her head and looked down at the floor.

"His parents, they're…hard on him. They put all these expectations on him and expected him to do it and I think the pressure was too much. I know his dad abuses him, he doesn't talk about it but I see the bruises," she choked, her voice heavy with emotion.

"Kairi…"

"I tried to get him to talk to someone, if not me then _someone_. But he didn't, he just…he just does what he does. I know he's into drugs, dealing them or whatever. I know he hurts people, I know all of that," she looked at him and he saw the sadness and regret in her eyes. "So I'm sorry."

Sora took a minute to process this information. Riku had serious problems after all and Kairi thought it was her fault. He knew she was getting more anxious by the second with his lack of response, but something was nagging at him.

"Is the reason why you started talking to me…because you feel sorry for me?" Sora asked her.

"No," Kairi shook her head, "I started talking to you because I want to talk to you, Sora."

"Why?" he asked. "And what was that today at lunch?"

"That was me trying to help Naminé, I thought you might wanna join," she answered.

Then it hit him. Like being submerged in a steaming hot tub, his epiphany broke through the blood-brain barrier and washed over him.

"You don't like them," the words tumbled from his mouth.

"What?" she puzzled.

"Your friends. They aren't really your friends, are they?"

"What are you-? Of course they are," she argued.

"No," he shook his head, "you're not like them. I _know_ you're not like them."

Kairi said nothing. He knew he had broken her will to dispute the point. There was nothing left to contend with. Hearts and minds.

"You can talk to me," he said gently. "It's okay."

She looked so broken, so sad in that instant, that Sora had to fight the urge to wrap his arms around her. He wasn't looking for a repeat of last time.

"I'm friends with Riku and Riku is the one everyone loves, what else is there to say?" she said bitterly.

"Why are you still with them? Why don't you just leave?" he pressed.

"I can't _do_ anything. I don't want to end up like…like…"

"Like me," Sora finished for her.

"It's better this way," Kairi said. "For me, for Naminé, for everyone."

"Doesn't look better to me, and it definitely didn't look better at the party," he said. Sora knew he had veered the conversation into dangerous territory. Take care, a voice in the back of his head spoke, or this conversation will become a confrontation.

"They wanted me to drink, I said no," she said nonchalantly, as if it were a mundane occurrence.

"And?"

"And what? They wanted me to drink," she repeated.

"That's it?" Sora looked at her skeptically.

"They called me a lightweight, whatever," she said. Sora could see her jaw tighten as she spoke.

"So they call you names."

"It's not a big deal," she said, "it was all too much, I guess. I'm sorry, but I didn't even want to go the party-"

"I didn't want to have it," he quipped. Kairi smiled at that.

"I end up having to go to them all the time and I just…I'm just tired, Sora."

"I know," he said, and he bumped her shoulder with his.

"Sometimes I think you've got it much better than I do…" she said, "I know it isn't true," she added before he could open his mouth. "I just like to think that things could have been different, in another life. It doesn't have to all turn to shit, y'know?"

"It doesn't," he said.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I don't."

They stared at each other intently and started to laugh; the two of them laughing so hard that they fell to the floor and struggled to breath, echoing through the empty house.

Suddenly they heard a door opening downstairs, and a voice called out, "Kairi? Is that you?"

They stopped and listened closely; the sound of footsteps ascending the staircase, drawing ever closer. Kairi's eyes widened in panic.

"You have to go," she spoke in a hushed whisper. Sora looked at her in confusion.

"What? Why?"

"I'm not supposed to have anyone over," she said, quickly standing up and moving in front of the door.

"Then why did you invite me?!" he whispered harshly

"Kairi? Naminé?" a woman, her mother, Sora surmised, was approaching quickly, her voice emanating from the hallway just beyond the door.

"I didn't think anyone would be home. Go out the window," Kairi commanded.

" _What?!"_

"No choice, sorry. I'll text you later," she said, and then she slipped out the door and closed it quickly behind her.

Sora stared after her, dumbfounded. Then he kicked himself into gear and rushed over to her window, he lifted it and stared out at the lawn below. There were some hedges just under him; if he dropped down carefully he might make it out without a scratch. He threw one leg over the window sill, straddling it and praying silently that no one would walk by and see him.

As he attempted to carefully maneuver his other foot over the window, he felt the hard surface of the ledge disappear from beneath him and fell back against open air. He hardly had time to recognize what was occurring before he was falling backwards out of Kairi's window.

He landed in the prickly branches of the hedges, the tiny green leaves rustling furiously as he attempted to disentangle himself from the web of foliage that had absorbed his fall. He managed to extricate himself and rush across the front yard and out into the street, stopping to catch his breath only when he had made it three blocks away.

The realization of the inanity of the past hour descended on Sora and the uncontrollable laughter returned to him. They had more in common than he thought.

She was like him.


	8. Inertia

Sora had never feared for his life. There had been times when he'd feared for his safety, perhaps even his emotional well-being, but never for his life.

He was seated atop the stoop, watching with detached interest as Xion handed baggies filled with illicit substances to their customers and sent them on their way. Yuffie was on munny duty; there had not been another incident since his first day, and Sora had made sure to watch himself around her. They had entrusted him with a couple of baggies to hand out since that day, nothing big, nothing dangerous, not much in the way of responsibility. As far as Sora was concerned, this was an acceptable state of affairs, though it didn't net him much in the way of profits.

"You up for more?" Xion called to him. He nodded and accepted what she had for him; he began his trek a little ways down the street. More manpower, more ground to cover.

That's when he heard it, the revving of an engine and the squealing of tires. It happened in a flash, the three loud pops, the shouting, and before the sounds could register in his mind he was being tackled onto the cold hard sidewalk.

"What-?"

" _Stay down!"_ Xion shouted in his ear. More pops.

Gunshots, he thought to himself. Someone was shooting at them.

Sora listened as the car sped off into the distance, leaving an excruciating silence in its wake. The seconds ticked by and they remained on the ground, he breathed a sigh of relief as he felt Xion's weight leave him.

"You alright?" she asked, holding out her hand.

"Yeah," he confirmed shakily. Yuffie came rushing over.

"Was anyone hit?!" she questioned, looking at the both of them frantically. Sora and Xion shook their heads.

"What was that?" Sora asked, looking off in the direction the speeding car had gone.

Xion shook her head slowly. "Thought we had this under control."

"Had what under control?" Sora asked.

"We should call Tidus," Xion ignored him, looking to Yuffie who nodded and pulled out her cell phone.

Completely baffled by their conversation and still feeling a bit shaky, Sora sat down on the stoop. The baggies Xion had given to him just minutes before were clenched tightly in his fist; he stuck them in his pocket. Sora let his eyes drift over the immediate area, nobody had been drawn by the gunfire, nobody was coming out to investigate. Perhaps this was a common occurrence.

Tidus arrived soon after, looking grim and exasperated, like he'd run a marathon. He approached the three of them on the stoop.

"Tell me exactly what happened," he demanded.

"Someone tried to take us out, got a couple of shots off, nobody was hit," Xion explained. Tidus looked out nervously at the street, as if expecting someone to pop out from behind a car. At this point, Sora couldn't blame him.

"Do we call it in?" Yuffie asked. Tidus shook his head.

"No…not yet, I'll talk to Riku. He'll know what to do," Tidus sighed.

"What happened? What was that?" Sora repeated, he was becoming increasingly frustrated with their cryptic chatter. The three of them turned to him as if just realizing he was present. Tidus leaned against the stoop and said nothing, his face scrunched up like he was debating with himself whether to say anything at all.

"Competitors," he said finally, "not a big deal."

"Considering I was almost just gunned down in the street, I'd say it's a big deal," Sora retorted.

"God, do you have to be so dramatic? We've dealt with this before, it's fine," Tidus argued.

"Fine? How many times has this happened before? Why don't you get Riku to deal with it, considering he's got us all down here selling _his_ stuff," Sora replied angrily.

Tidus said nothing for a moment.

Then Xion laughed, "You don't really think we _work_ for Riku, do you?"

Sora looked at her, stunned. "If you don't, then what are you doing here?" he asked.

She was about to answer when Tidus shot her a warning look. "Oh, he's been here for weeks, shouldn't he know?" she dismissed. Tidus got up and pulled out his phone.

"I'm calling Riku, don't say anything stupid," he warned, walking across the street to make his call.

Sora turned to Xion, "What does he mean?"

"He doesn't want me to tell you who you really work for," she smirked.

"Who I…? _Will someone just tell me what's going on?!"_

"The Organization," she said simply.

"Huh?" Sora asked, befuddled.

"Ever wonder where all the gangs have gone?" Xion inquired. When Sora said nothing, she continued, "couple years ago you couldn't move a mile without ending up in some gang's territory. The Latin Kings, MS-13, those weird clowns, you think it's bad now, you should have seen it then."

Sora remembered; there had been something akin to a moral panic, when people avoided the streets and ventured out of the safety of their homes solely for the necessities. There had been assemblies, classroom discussions on the dangers of backward caps, news reports; they were finding bodies every week. Then one day it just seemed to taper off, and it died away just as quickly as it had begun. In the end, the decline in violence was attributed to a stepped up police presence.

"Okay, what about it?" he asked, uncertain if he truly wanted to hear the answer.

"It was the Organization that took them out. I don't know where they came from, I don't think anybody really does. They just showed up one day and took everything, crushed every rival in the city and absorbed what was left."

Sora turned pale. "Are you saying…I don't know what you're saying."

Xion looked him square in the eyes, "I'm saying that we work for the Organization. All of us, including you."

"But Riku…"

She waved him off, "Mid-level at most, he just distributes the drugs to the dealers. There are plenty of people above him."

"Who?"

Xion shrugged. "Don't know, don't particularly care. I've never seen them, and considering we're at the bottom of the ladder I don't think we ever will."

"So then what was that just now?" Sora asked.

"That was what's left."

"Left?" he tilted his head curiously.

"The holdouts. The Organization took out the big players, but they couldn't stop the little crews from going into hiding. They come at us sometimes, usually it's not a real problem. We're in strict Organization territory right here."

Sora remained silent, shaken by what he was hearing, shaken by what he had just experienced. Gangs and attempted murder, he hadn't signed up for this.

You didn't sign up at all, a voice reminded him.

Tidus' voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Alright, you guys can pack it up here for the day. Riku said he'd handle it."

Sora looked up at him, "Where's Roxas right now?"

"Roxas? Left a while ago, they finished up early over there," Tidus said, checking his watch.

Sora grit his teeth, he could already feel the explosive anger building inside him. He had almost died. He had almost died selling drugs. Roxas was home.

He set off down the road towards home.

* * *

He threw open the door of their apartment to find Roxas lounging on the couch, watching television. Sora stormed across the room and before Roxas could utter a greeting he had seized the remote from his brother's hands and flung it across the room, where it smashed into the wall with a spectacular clatter.

Roxas looked at him in shock. "What the hell, Sora?"

"Did you know?! Do you even know what you've gotten us into?!" Sora shouted.

Roxas scrambled off the couch and backed away from him. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"The _Organization_ ," Sora hissed, "did you know about it?"

"I-" Roxas looked away, anywhere but at him. "I knew," he mumbled.

"And you didn't think to _tell me?!_ You didn't think it was important?!"

"No! It's not, we're just in it with Riku-"

" _You're_ in it with Riku," Sora furiously corrected, "and I almost died today trying to help _you_ clean up _your fucking mess!"_

"Look, Sora, just relax-"

"What _else_ aren't you telling me?!" he snapped.

"Nothing!" Roxas assured. "Sora, I swear. I would've told you about it if I thought it was important. What happened today?"

Sora said nothing, breathing heavily as his brother stood cautiously in front of him, watching him wearily.

The munny. This was all happening because of the munny. Ten thousand owed to Riku. Well, there was an easy way of rectifying that. He hadn't checked, but based on how it felt in his hands the munny stowed away under his mattress should have been able to cover at least half of that. Roxas may not approve of how he'd acquired it, but desperate times…

"How much have we made, in total?" Sora asked, struggling to keep his voice on an even level.

"Barely scraped a thousand…" Roxas said. "Why?"

Sora moved towards his room. "I'm done with this, you hear me? I want out."

"Wait!" Roxas grabbed his shoulder. "Sora, please, if you don't help me, we're done."

"Why?" Sora swiveled around to face his brother. " _Why_ are we done? What is Riku going to do to us?"

"What do you think? You don't want to owe munny to someone like him," Roxas said, wide eyed and fearful.

"Did he actually threaten you? Did he specifically say what he would do?" Sora pressed, hands on the knob of his door.

"Were you not there with me at the party?" Roxas asked.

Oh, he was there alright. Surrounded by friends, Riku was powerful. But alone?

 _I know things._

Someone cleared their throat behind them. Sora and Roxas turned around in surprise and laid eyes upon Kairi and Naminé standing in their open doorway and watching them curiously.

"Is this a bad time?" Naminé asked timidly.

It took them a moment to break out of their surprise. Roxas dropped his hands from Sora's shoulder and walked up to them. "Not at all," he said, "come in."

Sora stood where he was, utterly confused.

"I uh…invited Naminé over," Roxas said to Sora's questioning glance, and threw Kairi one of his own.

"Oh, I just thought I'd come and see if Sora wanted to work on the project. Didn't you get my text?" Kairi asked. Sora pulled out his cell and saw that, indeed, he had missed her message.

"Great," Roxas clapped his hands together, clearly thankful for the distraction. "I do believe we have a movie to catch," he said to Naminé. He took her hand and whisked her out the door, hardly giving them a chance to work through the formalities. He gave Sora one last wink before shutting the door behind them. Kairi turned to him expectantly.

"You're okay with this, right?" she questioned hesitantly.

Sora nodded. "Yeah, fine…I mean, it's fine…great," he said awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. One minute he was getting shot at, the next he was on the verge of wringing his brother's neck, and now Kairi was standing in his apartment. What he really wanted more than anything was to take a nap.

"You want something to drink?" he asked her. She shook her head and he remained in place, unsure of what to do.

"I actually wanted to talk to you…" she said, taking a seat on his couch.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, he hesitated for a few moments before taking a seat next to her.

"Yeah, um…that stuff we talked about last time…I just wanted to make sure that was…you know, confidential. Just between us, right?" Kairi faced him, wearing a worried frown.

Her question surprised Sora. She was worried he was going to talk, spill all of her, and by extension, Riku's secrets. Not that she had given him very much. It was all very barebones, but still, it was something.

 _An advantage_

"Of course," he answered, and in that moment he was sure he meant it. Kairi gave him that smile that he had come to know quite well.

Sora didn't know why he was suddenly so nervous, didn't know why he was suddenly having such a hard time facing her for extended periods of time. Get a grip, he told himself. Get a grip.

"So, the project," he cleared his throat, hoping to alleviate the crushing weight that was descending on them in that moment. Kairi perked up at his words, as if she were pulling herself from the very same morass.

"Yeah, we never got around to talking about our disappointments last time," she recalled.

"If I remember correctly, I'm pretty sure I said that life was a big disappointment," he attempted to jest, remembering a bit too late just how miserable that made him sound.

"Yeah," she nodded slowly. Sora felt the heat burning his cheeks as Kairi examined him closely, searching his face for something. He prayed he wasn't blushing.

"Why do you think that?" she asked.

Sora considered the question. Why did he think that? Why was life a disappointment? He hadn't expected the possibility of this conversation occurring, here, now. Depth, not breadth, was the key.

"I..." What was the answer? What was the _problem?_

He found that he could no longer speak; it was as if his tongue was tied to the roof of his mouth. Sora willed the words to flow forth, but none would oblige.

"Sora?" Kairi questioned, her expression morphing into one of genuine inquisitiveness.

"I don't know," he said finally, and he was wholeheartedly disappointed that out of everything he _thought_ he had to say, out of every observation made that he had believed to be so keen regarding the state of the world, the most he had to contribute was that three word answer, of all answers.

"Oh," was all Kairi had to say. He felt embarrassed, challenged, threatened.

"What about you?" he asked quickly. Only a proper deflection could salvage this nightmare.

Kairi sunk back into the couch and reflected on his prompt. Sora waited patiently, willing the malaise to dissolve.

"Time," she said decisively. "Sometimes I wish I could just turn back the clocks and change everything. I wish I could stop it from moving because it moves so _quickly_ , you know? Whenever you want to just…savor things, it speeds up. When you want things to just end, it slows down. It's the one constant."

"The constant," Sora echoed. This girl was just full of surprises.

"Yes," Kairi said, "and we're the variables. We're arrogant and we think we can change things when we fail, but we can't. So we wish we could have a do over, but we can't get that either."

He knew she was speaking from her own experience, from her heart. He wondered how it was so easy for her to say these things, to put them into such precise words and to do so in such a succinct manner. Did she always go around talking like this, or was this something special, reserved just for a moment like this? One moment in time.

"Well," he spoke, and he could do nothing else but surrender to the anxious feelings that were tearing away at him, "that's something, but we're only supposed to do this on a particular something. Like a specific time."

Kairi gave him a strange look, and he wished he'd said nothing at all.

"Then I guess neither of ours counts."

It was over. Sora felt it in his bones; their one chance, passing him right by. He wanted to leave, needed to escape. The malaise was spreading, threatening to overtake the apartment.

"Let's go somewhere," he suggested. Kairi furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Where?" she inquired. Stop fighting me, he thought. Just stop fighting.

"Anywhere."

* * *

They took refuge on the swings of the decrepit old park a little ways from the apartment. Years ago he and Roxas would frequent it, back when it was full of life and received regular visitors; back then the swings and the slides and the tiny little garden over by the fence were neat and new. Now it was old and abandoned, the plants long since having died, the concrete sprouting weeds through the cracks in the ground. Even here, the malaise followed.

The rickety old swing set creaked as he pushed himself forward and let himself fall back as gracefully as he could. "What was Destiny Islands like?"

Kairi seemed pleasantly surprised by his question. He couldn't pass up the opportunity to have her reminisce, but he was also curious, curious about what lay beyond these broken swing sets and dank alleys.

"Great," she replied happily. "Really great…and green. There were palm trees and the beach was always there and the water was always warm."

Sora nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"We would always have campfires on the beach during the summer. The stars were out every night, like I said. My friends and I…we would talk about building a raft so we could sail out into the ocean and see what was out there," her smile turned sad and Sora caught the longing in her voice.

"Did you ever?" he asked.

Kairi shook her head. "We started building one, but a storm came and wrecked it."

"If it hadn't…what do you think you'd find?"

"Honestly?" she traced a jagged crack in the ground with her foot. "We probably would've drowned."

* * *

It was getting late and he insisted on walking her home. Kairi resisted, insisting that she would be fine, but eventually acquiesced when she realized her appeals may as well have been falling on deaf ears. Sora wasn't quite sure himself why he was so determined on seeing her home, perhaps it was the knowledge that had he been a little quicker on the job, or even a little slower, he would not be walking anywhere with Kairi.

They said their goodbyes when they arrived at her doorstep, but neither moved. Their friendship, strange thing it was and prior hiccups notwithstanding, had been established on solid ground, but the reality of their situation was not lost on Sora. In many ways they were similar, but in more they were different. It was the status that trumped the symbol.

"Goodnight," she said once more, giving him her last smile of the day and slowly closing the door behind her.

"Goodnight," he whispered.

He began the tiresome walk back, feeling more drained than he had in a very long while. This time he didn't hear the tires, nor the car door opening, he turned when he heard the footsteps striking the pavement and felt the blinding pain when something hard connected with his head.

He remembered his blurred vision and the faceless apparitions that stood before him, laughing and stomping their feet. He felt something warm trickling down his head and clung to consciousness just long enough to feel himself lifted from the ground and shoved into darkness.

That was the first time Sora feared for his life.


	9. Shackled

**_turning the happening level up to 11, not sure if I should raise the rating. Let me know your thoughts_**

* * *

He first became aware of the pounding in his head; lying on the ground and shaking from the chill that surrounded him, the world slowly came into focus.

The room was dark and damp, precluding him from examining his surroundings. He could see a set of stairs on the opposite of the room, his view of where it led obstructed by the wall. Shelves lined the walls, holding tools of a wide variety and from his position he could see a tiny window in the top corner. Cars passed by, their headlights briefly illuminating the room, and all he could glimpse were their tires. He was underground.

It was at that point that Sora realized he couldn't move, he reached forward and attempted to pull himself along the floor, only for something to hold him back. His right hand was cuffed to a pole; he strained against it, balling his hand into a fist and trying to squeeze it through. He gave up quickly, his wrist rubbed raw. Sora reached up and felt the back of his head, it was warm and soft and a spike of pain flared up where he touched it.

Panic. As his bearings returned to him, the enormity of what had occurred, and just what had happened to him, became apparent. His breathing quickened, fear gripping him, he tried to control his intake of oxygen but he choked and the world blurred again.

 _Calm. Stay calm._

Footsteps. He paused. Heavy thuds meeting the floor above him, sending dust flying about the room. Someone was coming. Sora heard the steady creaking of a door swinging open and those feet began to descend.

The man, or perhaps more accurately the boy, who approached him could not have been much older than Sora himself. Face hidden by shadows, Sora could discern only the black beanie, baggy pants, prominent and threatening combat boots, and a distinct scar that marked the boy's face. The boy stood, looking down at Sora. Sora stared back. The boy spoke first.

"What's your name?"

Sora opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Sora."

The boy remained still, looking down at Sora. Then he kneeled so they were at eye level, and Sora was confronted by steely aquamarine eyes.

"You hurt one of my boys," his captor spoke, and Sora could hear the quiet menace in his voice.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Sora stammered. The boy's hand shot out and grabbed his face, Sora shouted in surprise.

"You hurt one of my boys," he repeated. "Someone's gotta pay for that."

"Please," Sora managed to spit out, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The boy said nothing, his hands gripping Sora's chin and forcing him to meet his captor's eyes.

"You're out on that corner, aren't you?" the boy questioned, "The one with those girls."

Sora could only nod his head.

"Someone came to you a few weeks ago, got his arm twisted up real bad, said you were there."

Suddenly it all made sense.

"Wait!" Sora spluttered, "It was Yuffie, not me! I had nothing to do with that, I swear!"

"Oh yeah?" the boy let him go and stood up. "Well then, why don't we ask him?"

Sora's eyes widened as the boy barked, "Huey! Get down here!"

Sora watched as Huey lumbered down the stairs, his arm nestled comfortably in a cast. Even here, in this terribly dark place, he could see the grin on his infinitely smug face.

"Yeah, Seifer?" he asked comically, very clearly amused by the sight before him. The boy, Seifer, turned to him angrily.

"Don't use my name, you idiot!" he said furiously, punching Huey in his injured arm. Huey yelped and jumped back. Seifer let out a breath.

"Sora here says he wasn't there when you had your accident, is he lying to me?"

Huey nodded. "Big fat liar."

"Okay," Sora could feel the panic beginning to overtake him once more. "Okay, I was there – but I didn't do it, it was Yuffie!"

Seifer turned to Huey. "Is that true? Did a _girl_ do that to you?"

Huey did not hesitate to deny it. "No," he shook his head, "it was him," he pointed at Sora with his uninjured hand.

"Hm," Seifer tapped his forefinger on his cheek, "I think we need to teach Sora a little something about fibbing," he mused.

"Wait!" Sora pleaded, holding out his hand to shield himself from whatever was coming. "Just wait-"

The first kick caught him in his chest, knocking the wind out of him and sending his head back into the pole. Sora cried out as waves of scorching pain radiated down from his skull.

"Stop-"

Another kick. Right in the side of his face. He slumped downwards, his weight dragging his restrained hand further into the handcuffs. He coughed and saw specks of blood hit the floor.

"Pl-"

Seifer landed one on his side and he heard a sickening crack. The pain was excruciating, a splitting, overwhelming feeling that made him see stars; bright spots that danced before his eyes. He was going to die, he was sure of it.

 _This is how it ends_

Not with a bang, not in the soothing presence of family and friends, but an inglorious end. Locked away in some basement somewhere, nobody would ever find him. Roxas, Kairi, his mother _-_

 _(does she even care)_

-they would never know the truth. The world would keep on spinning and spinning and spinning just like his was right now and-

Another one got him straight in the jaw; the taste of copper filled his mouth.

-he would be forgotten. Just another kid on the streets. Just another fool. Just another-

kick to his face. If they weren't careful they'd knock a few teeth loose. He'd seen a couple of sad folk on the streets like that and promised himself he would never become like-

-sad sorry sack who couldn't get himself straightened out.

 _It's not like that._

Fists to the face.

 _It's not like that._

Pain.

 _It wasn't my fault._

Blackout.

* * *

When he awoke, the room was empty. His face was throbbing, a constant

 _(constants and variables)_

dull aching, his abdomen was aflame; every breath he took sent a burst of fiery agony coursing through him. He could feel the wet droplets of blood trailing down his face and onto the ground, piercing the silence of the room with its rhythmic dripping. But he was alive, and he was alone.

He struggled to lift his chin from his chest, the aching becoming ever more severe as he gingerly leaned his head against the pole. Dazed and bruised, the room was a mass of fuzz and swirls. But he was alive, alive, he repeated the mantra to himself. He was alive.

His eyes lazily scanned the room, the walls, the shelves, the ground that had become host to the metallic taste in his mouth, and they landed on something, tucked away in the far corner of the room under a wooden table. Two white canisters, both slapped with a big red label on the front. One word.

 _Flammable._

"Flammable," he chuckled, and his breathy laughter became a hacking cough that wouldn't stop.

"You awake down there?" Seifer's voice called from somewhere beyond. Like a guardian angel, he thought.

Sora continued to cough, his throat backed up with phlegm and blood. He spit on the ground.

"Ah," Seifer leaned over the staircase, studying him as if he were a mere curiosity on the other side of the world. Well, the other side of the room would have to do.

"Got some people here who wanna see you," Seifer said, leering at him from above. Sora felt the hope in his pained chest deflating rapidly. He was alive, yes, but the walls were closing in.

"Let's go boys," Seifer beckoned, and they came. One familiar face after another. Stewie, Lewie, Huey. A reunion of monumental proportions.

"So," Seifer began, leaning back against the table that covered the canisters, "turns out my friends here know who you are," he came in closer, "you're a troublemaker, aren't you Sora?"

Sora said nothing, ignoring the three boys who were watching him with expressions that fell somewhere between hunger and malice, choosing instead to focus on the beanie bearing boy as he pranced about the room. He was clearly enjoying this, eagerness bordering on excitement.

"Listen," Sora urged hoarsely, "I can tell you stuff…stuff about-"

"Like how you're with the Organization? Yeah, I know all about that," Seifer quickly shut him down. The tepidness in his voice struck Sora. He didn't care. He just didn't care. He didn't care what happened here, so long as Sora wasn't around to talk about it when the sun rose again.

"I'm not _with_ anyone," Sora countered, trying his damndest to keep his voice from shaking, "I work on the corners, yes, but I'm not one of them, I'm _not_ ," he stressed. Seifer had to understand, he just had to. He hadn't wanted any of this.

"You are," Seifer said, and his voice was cold, "maybe you don't think it, but you are."

"He's one of them," Huey growled. "He looked right at me and _smiled."_

"I can help you," Sora pleaded, "I can-"

"I can," Seifer mimicked, he laughed cruelly and looked at Huey, "How'd you let this scrawny little stick get the drop on you?"

Huey looked embarrassed for a moment, but quickly reverted to indignation. "He had a gun," he said, "pulled it on me."

Seifer made a sound of acknowledgement and turned to Sora. "Is that how the Organization does business these days? Gotta stick 'em up to shake 'em down?"

Sora glared hard at Huey. "He's lying," he spat, "lying straight through his teeth. It was the girl, it was Yuffie. Twisted his arm _right around."_

"Shut up!" Huey shouted and stomped on his calf. Sora gasped as something within him was torn and his thigh burned.

Seifer looked on in mild amusement. Stewie and Lewie were rearing to have a go, and Sora could see through the hazy edges of his vision one of them swooping in for the kill.

"Wait," Seifer held out his hand, and whoever it was stopped. "I'd say this is worth exploring, wouldn't you?" he asked. Nobody answered. He ambled over to the other side of the room and pulled something from a shelf. Seifer turned towards them, and Sora saw the outline of a bowie knife in his hand.

"Now," he said, unsheathing the knife, "two stories, two accounts, what are we going to do?"

Nobody spoke. Nobody moved. The temperature seemed to drop a few degrees. A car passed by outside.

"I think I'd be speaking for everyone here if I said how unfortunate it would be if there was to be a…miscarriage of justice," Seifer twirled the knife in his hand. There was a gleam in his eyes and the knife he carried shone in the dim moonlight.

"It was him," Huey repeated, but now he sounded off-beat, unsure of himself. He visibly shrunk under Seifer's stoic gaze.

"You know, I read something about justice once…" Seifer nodded, staring out at nothing in particular, "about how the greater should get more and the lesser should get less," he turned on Sora, "there is inequality rooted in nature. How do you feel about that?"

Sora did not know how to feel about that. The situation had taken an unnatural turn, bequeathed with the feel of a twisted comedy routine. The boys looked on in discomfort. Suddenly Seifer strode forth and stuck his knife in the pole above Sora's head.

" _Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius; make this offering to him and do not forget!"_ he bellowed. Sora drew back, but Seifer grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him forward so their noses were almost touching. He pulled the knife out of the pole and ran the blade down Sora's cheek.

"Did you do it?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not."

Seifer let out a harrumph and stood back. He turned to the boys, who watched him warily.

"What about you?" he pointed the knife at Huey. "Are you lying to me?"

"No," Huey said, shaking his head fervently. "I s-swear."

Seifer stared at him blankly. "Why don't I believe you?"

Sora turned away from the unfolding scene and frantically searched the room with his eyes. Things were running their natural course and soon it would all be over. He was alive, but the end was nearing. Outside the birds were chirping and the sky was brightening. He wanted to live; he wanted to see the sun rise.

"You know what I hate, more than anything?" Seifer tightened his grip on the knife.

"What?" Huey asked. Fear and trembling.

There had to be _something_. Anything. By the grace of God, he needed a miracle; something that would pull him back from this precipitous descent. Hammers, nails, hoses, matches – he paused.

 _Matches_

" _Liars."_

It happened in the blink of an eye. Seifer drew his knife wielding arm back, took a giant stride forward and without hesitation plunged the knife straight into Huey's gut.

Huey's eyes went wider than anyone's Sora had ever witnessed, so much so that they were practically bulging out of their sockets. He let out a low, shaky groan and fell back, collapsing against the shelves and falling to the floor in a stupendous crash.

Then he started screaming.

Chaos ensued. Lewie flew forward, grabbing Seifer and tackling him to the floor, Stewie bent over and looked down at his friend in abject horror, his hands held out in a display of utter stupefaction. Cries and crashes and screams flooded the room. Sora watched as Lewie struggled to disarm Seifer, the pair rolling around on the floor in a desperate effort to overtake the other. He saw the small shiny object fall out of Seifer's pocket and clatter to the floor.

Sora knew what it was in an instant. He reached forward, ignoring the cries of protest emanating from his beaten body, his fingertips just grazed it, he pulled forward, harder, harder, his knees wobbled and his fingers closed around it, but the exhaustion beat him to it and he slumped against the floor; the key to the handcuffs just out of reach.

"Are you _whacked?!_ " he heard Lewie cry as they fought over the knife. Huey was still screaming, screaming, screaming, an unending drone. Like the buzzing of bees.

One more chance, Sora begged. Give me one more chance. He gathered what strength he had left and made one last effort and the strain was incredible, the pain unbelievable. He thought he would explode. He slumped again, sure that he had failed, certain that he was doomed, when he felt the key in his fist.

" _Yes_ ," he whispered. Sora stuck the key in the cuff and turned, for one brief and terrible moment he thought it wouldn't work, that it was the wrong key and it was all for naught, but it clicked and the cuff broke apart. He was free.

Huey's screams had turned into a death rattle, a lowly croaking. Stewie seemed to be in shock, face almost as white as his fallen friend's and incapable of movement. Seifer had managed to get Lewie on his back and he raised the knife up high, prepared to deliver the fatal strike.

Sora moved quickly, he seized the knife from Seifer's hand and without thinking tossed it under the wooden table. Seifer whirled around and his expression transformed from stunned surprise to a murderous rage. The taller boy leapt off of Lewie and grabbed Sora, pulling him forward and then pushing him back. Sora attempted to regain his balance, but capitulated to the fire in his chest and the crippling pain in his thigh. He fell against the table.

Seifer pulled no punches, launching himself onto Sora and laying into him with certain homicidal intent. Sora blocked and grabbed at his freely flying fists as best as he could, but he felt what little he had left in him whittling away under Seifer's sustained blows.

The table collapsed under them and they were sent sprawling onto the floor. Seifer hit his head on the ground and Sora took advantage of this opening. Spotting the knife lying beside him, Sora grabbed it, thrust it backwards into one of the containers and pulled it downwards. It gave way easily, nothing but plastic.

A stream of gasoline shot forward, spilling onto the ground and streaking across the floor. Seifer, dazed though he was, had managed to pick himself up. Lewie sprung up from behind, wrapping his arms around Seifer's neck and putting him in a chokehold. The two of them flailed about wildly and Sora had just enough time to think of ice skating before he hurriedly limped over to one of the shelves and took possession of the item he sought.

Sora lit the match and held it over the trail of gasoline. Seifer sent his elbow straight into Lewie's nose, sending him flying backwards, nostrils spurting streams of blood. The beanie had come off, and Sora saw now that the boy had brilliant blonde hair.

Seifer saw what he was about to do. "Wait!" he cried, holding out his hands.

Sora hesitated and looked him straight in the eyes. He was just another fool, another kid who had fallen off the straight and narrow, just a little older – or maybe as old, as himself. They could have gone to school together, maybe they did.

"Just relax, man."

 _Let it burn_

"I am relaxed," Sora said, and he flicked the match onto the ground.

The flames shot upwards in a flash of orange heat and the fire rapidly traced the course of the gasoline trail towards the canisters. Sora turned and propelled himself towards the stairs. He would still need to climb. An insuperable task, surely.

He channeled what adrenaline still remained within him and he climbed- no, crawled furiously upwards, clawing at the stairs as he saw the fire reach the canisters. It's over, he thought, and a strange peacefulness fell over him. It's all over.

The first explosion obliterated the staircase behind him; he was thrown forward out of the basement door and into a wall. He fell backwards, landing hard on his back. He felt the heat behind him and he started to laugh.

The second explosion was more powerful, ripping through the floorboards and blasting a massive hole through the walls. He was blown away, lifted into the air by the force of the blast and smashed through a window, tumbling over bushes and coming to rest face down in the grass.

As Sora lay there in the grass, his head turned weakly to the side, he found himself watching two simultaneous events. He witnessed the sun ascending over the Brooklyn residencies, and watched as a bumble bee without wings crawled through blades of grass. As he studied that bumble bee wiggling its way over the grass and the first rays of sunlight bursting forth and lighting up the sky from its pale blue to a streak of red-orange, he felt an immense curiosity awaken within him and elation so great that his resulting grin stretched nearly from ear to ear.

That red-orange sky was complemented by the red-orange flames raging behind him, consuming the home within which he had been a prisoner, and the people who had imprisoned him.

Sora heard the sirens sounding off in the distance, and shakily rose to his feet. He was bleeding, bruised, broken, but he was alive, and he had never been more thankful for that fact. He wasn't sure where exactly he was, but he could see the city skyline in the distance. All that was required of him was to follow it.

So he did. He limped away from the lawn, past the onlookers who stared at him in shock and awe, into the dense urban neighborhoods, alongside the East river, into Brownsville and finally entered the projects.

"Hey Yen," he waved to the owner of the building, seated behind the front desk. Yen looked at him in surprise.

"Sora? Your brother's been looking everywhere for you…you look terrible, son. What's happened to you?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry about it," Sora assured, smiling pleasantly as he passed and mounted the steps. What were a few more?

Sora reached the door to his apartment. He stood in front of it and let out a content sigh. Home at last. He opened the door.

He did not expect the amount of guests. Roxas, Kairi, Naminé, Olette, Hayner, and Pence were all gathered in the living room. Sora allowed himself to drink in each and every person's appearance, which was only fair, as all eyes turned towards him the moment he entered the room.

Nobody made a move. Nobody said a word. Why were they all looking at him like that?

"What's up?" Sora greeted, shattering the silence. They stared at him with wide eyes. Surely he didn't look so terrible. His stomach grumbled.

"I'm starving," he said, moving towards the kitchen. He made it about halfway to the fridge before he fainted.


	10. Home Rule

**_thanks for the feedback guys. I figure the rating will eventually go up but for now consider this a hard T_**

* * *

"Sora?"

He was floating. Someone was calling to him, just beyond the bounds of sense.

"Sora?!"

"Mom?"

"Sora, it's Kairi. Can you open your eyes?"

His eyelids fluttered and promptly shut as rays of sunlight streamed into his vision. He groaned.

Sora felt a hand cup his cheek, warm and soft, caressing him, trailing downwards and coming to rest on his shoulder. He tried to open his eyes again, straining against the painful prickling in his pupils. An angel was kneeling over him, she had red hair. She smiled widely when she saw he was awake.

"Hey," she said softly, her hand still on his shoulder. Sora squinted at her.

"Kairi?"

"Yeah," she nodded encouragingly. "How are you feeling?"

"I-" Sora turned his head gingerly, examining their surroundings. "Where am I?"

"You're home," she answered. "Do you remember what happened?"

Sora moved to sit up and winced as a biting pain stabbed at his chest. The floodgates opened and all at once his body became a roiling sea of pulsating anguish. His legs, thighs, stomach, face, everything hurt. He felt himself go woozy again.

"Hey, hey, just relax. You're okay now," Kairi soothed, gently lowering him back down onto his mattress. Sora took a shaky breath and looked up at the ceiling. He was home, he was in his room. The last time thoughts of his room had flitted through his mind, he would've imagined it being the final time. But there he was, lying on his mattress, the girl he had shared his first kiss with looking down at him with increasingly concerned eyes.

Sora did not speak, letting silence fill the void between them yet again. There was too much to say, just too much, and he didn't know how to say it.

"Sora-" Kairi spoke, cutting through the widening gap between them, and he could tell she was trying to keep her own voice from shaking, "what happened to you?"

Sora ignored her, closing his eyes and recalling the looks on their faces as he entered the apartment. "How bad is it?" he asked.

Kairi dropped her hand from his shoulder. "A couple broken ribs, facial fractures I think, your leg was all torn up…you might have a concussion."

"What'd you get a doctor in here?" Sora asked. He meant it as joke, but it came out harsher than he had intended.

"Olette's studying to become a nurse," she explained. "She had a look at you."

"Oh," he said. "What were they doing here anyway?"

Kairi looked at him incredulously. "Why were they here? Sora, you went _missing_."

"So?" he managed to shrug in spite of the pain, "When have they ever cared?"

"They're your friends, aren't they?" Kairi questioned.

"They're my brother's friends. Big difference," he said, unable to mask the bitterness in his voice.

"Well, they came to help look for you. Roxas was going crazy."

"One night, I was gone one night and he has to assume the worst. Typical I guess," Sora huffed.

"Why are you being like this? He was worried, _I_ was worried," she breathed, watching him warily.

"I almost _died_ Kairi, okay? I didn't just go missing, I almost died," he spoke indignantly.

Kairi was silent at his words. They turned away from each other and already Sora began to feel the guilt rising up within him. Footsteps padded down the hallway and the door to his room opened. It was Roxas.

"You're awake," he said, letting out a breath of relief. He entered, oblivious to the mounting tension, and took a seat by Sora's side.

"Man, what happened?" Roxas asked, eyeing his brother's bruised face.

"I…" Sora looked from Roxas to Kairi unsurely.

"Kairi…do you mind if I talk to him alone for a second?" Sora asked. She didn't need to be told twice, promptly standing up and leaving the room, giving him one last sidelong glance before shutting the door behind her.

"What was that?" Roxas asked, looking at him curiously.

"Nothing," Sora shook his head. Roxas' confusion only deepened, questions lingering in the air.

"I don't know," Sora said, preempting the barrage of inquiries he was certain were coming. "I don't know what happened."

"Was it Riku?" Roxas asked, his voice low and tinged with anger. "Did he do this to you?"

"No, it wasn't Riku, it was someone else," Sora said.

"Who?" Roxas pressed. "Who was it?"

Sora paused, and Seifer's panicked eyes as he dropped the match flashed through his mind.

"Ever hear of someone named Seifer?" Sora asked. Roxas furrowed his brow, mulling over the name.

"No," he shrugged. "Who is he?"

"I don't know. He thought I was with the Organization, he thought I attacked one of his guys. He had his own group."

"Had?"

Three loud knocks startled them from their conversation. They jumped and turned towards Sora's door, straining their ears. A heavy silence filled the air. Sora's door opened and Kairi entered.

"Someone's knocking," she informed. "Should I open it?"

More knocks, a loud and insistent rapping. They hesitated. Roxas looked to Sora and Sora gave him an uncertain look back.

"I'll get it," Roxas declared, getting up and leaving the room. Kairi made to follow him.

"Wait," Sora called, she looked back at him. "Just wait," he said, holding out his hand. Kairi held his gaze for few long moments, searching his eyes for some indication of worry, fear, panic. He gave none away. She nodded and leaned back against the window. They listened intently as Roxas opened the front door, heard the exclamation of surprise, the hurried conversation and the heavy movement coming right to them.

Riku stood in the doorway, his eyes landing directly on Sora. Sora stared back, and for the first time did not feel compelled to look away. Riku's gaze shifted to Kairi and his face underwent a series of emotional transitions, from surprise, to bafflement, and finally to a carefully cultivated indifference.

"Kairi?" he asked, and his voice was strained. "What are you doing here?"

For her part, Kairi seemed just as disconcerted. She shuffled her feet and faced the floor, "I was here with Naminé." She offered no further explanation and Sora scrunched up his face, stung by her words.

"What are _you_ doing here?" she questioned, and Riku's eyes returned to Sora's.

"I need to talk to Sora," he said. "Alone."

Kairi gave them a strange look, unsure as to how the atmosphere had turned so menacing so quickly. Reluctantly, she stepped past Riku and left. Riku pushed the door shut and sighed. He walked over to the window and leaned forward, staring out at the streets below.

"Did you really take out that entire crew?"

His question floored Sora. That wasn't how it happened, that wasn't how he imagined it.

"I-I didn't have a choice," Sora stammered, "they were going to kill me. They _would've_ killed me."

"I didn't ask for your rationales," Riku said, turning around to face him, "I asked you if you did it."

He had done it, alright. There was no use in denying it. "Yeah," Sora said, his face falling.

Riku said nothing for a long time, looking past Sora at the room around them. The peeling plaster, the creaky floorboards, the lone mattress in the center of the room and the mournful boy who occupied it.

"It's okay, you know," he said finally. Sora looked up at him.

"What is?"

"I mean, you left a helluva mess, but those guys were asking for it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Riku tapped his fingers against the window sill and narrowed his eyes at the wall ponderously, "Seifer was…trouble."

"Who was he?" Sora asked desperately. He needed to know. He needed to know the boy in the beanie.

"He had some beef with us," Riku responded, "that's all."

"What beef?"

Riku's lips were pressed into a thin line, he shifted his jaw, seemingly deep in thought. "His sister," he answered.

Sora blinked. "His sister?"

"Her name was Fuu," Riku began, "one of us, for awhile. She was good, tough, did what she was told. They came as a team, him and her. Made us a lot of munny…until she got hooked on the stuff she was selling."

"Oh," Sora rubbed his neck. "What happened?"

Riku gave a shrug. "We couldn't help her, though he tried. She was totally gone, I had to let her go…" Riku gripped the window sill tightly. "She died."

Sora detected something in his voice, on his face. Was it _guilt_?

Riku cleared his throat. "Point is he went nuts after that. Broke with us and we couldn't bring him back, so…"

So he had done it for them. Brought back, if not into the fold, then into the assurance of everlasting silence. The weight on Sora's shoulders grew a bit heavier.

"Anyway, I came to tell you the debt was paid," Riku said, moving to leave the room.

"Wait, what?" Sora asked, bewildered.

"You're done. Off the streets, you and Roxas. I don't want you out there anymore."

"Why not?"

Riku paused at the door, one hand on the knob. "I'm starting to wonder about you, Sora," he said. He left without looking back.

* * *

The days passed by at a tortuous speed. Never before had Sora so badly wished to leave the confines of his apartment, but under Roxas' watchful eye, the only contact he had with the outside world was what he could see out his window. He was recuperating slowly but steadily, he had incurred no life threatening injuries, his schoolwork was delivered to him in a timely manner, his body was healing. There was nothing left to do but wait.

Wait, and wait, and wait. The apartment was getting colder, the high autumn air seeping in through the cracks in their windows. At night he would lie awake and stare out at the moon before surrendering to slumber. Sometimes he would awaken, bathed in moonlight and sweat glistening on his forehead, having once again narrowly escaped from some dark space. Then he would push it from his thoughts and the day would begin anew.

Sora listened to the front door opening, indicating his brother's arrival from what was sure to be a trying day of public education. He dutifully braced himself for the introduction of another mountain of schoolwork. There was a knock at his door.

"Since when do you knock?" he interrogated the door. It opened, but it wasn't Roxas who entered.

"Kairi?"

"Hey," she greeted, flashing him a smile as she slipped in. It had been a while since he'd seen her, or at least it felt that way. She'd never come back after Riku's visit. He figured she'd been busy, or maybe she was afraid. It was hard to tell with her sometimes.

It was much easier for him to sit up now, so he did when she sat down beside him. Her plain white top and tight fitting jeans looked quite snug on her. Sora gulped.

"Here," Kairi said, handing him a manila folder wrapped tightly in a rubber band, "I got your work for you."

"Thanks," Sora put it down at his side, "you didn't have to."

"I wanted to," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner. I wanted-"

Sora held up his hand and she stopped talking. "You don't owe me anything."

Kairi cocked her head. "It's not about owing anybody anything, Sora."

"Then what is it?" he asked sharply. She flinched at his tone.

"We're friends, aren't we?" she asked meekly.

"I don't know Kairi, are we? Sometimes it feels like we are and sometimes it doesn't."

Kairi looked away, but the hurt was visible on her face. Sora felt himself soften, he didn't want this to turn into an argument. He didn't want to drive her away.

"I'm sorry," he said. Kairi turned her eyes back up to him.

"It's okay," she said quietly. "Do you need me to get you anything?"

Sora stared at her blankly for a moment, before realizing what she meant. "Oh! No, no, I'm fine," he said, and his stomach rumbled as if on cue.

"Well…I guess I'm a bit hungry," he conceded.

Kairi rolled her eyes playfully. "What do you want?"

"There's some mac 'n cheese in the fridge?" he suggested. Kairi nodded and left to go prepare it. Sora listened to her move about the kitchen. She hadn't asked what had happened to him since he'd first awoken, he wasn't sure if she ever would. All the better, he supposed, he didn't know what he'd say if she did.

Kairi returned with two steaming bowls. She handed one to Sora and kept one for herself. They ate together in comfortable silence.

"So," she spoke, "how are you feeling?"

"Good," Sora replied, his face practically buried in his macaroni, "I'm feeling better."

"Do you think you'll come back to school soon?" she inquired.

"Probably," he said, nodding thoughtfully into the bowl, "I don't really need Roxas to help me move around anymore."

"That's good," Kairi set her bowl down on the floor. "You really like that, huh?" she beamed, watching him scarf down his food. Sora nodded.

"Thanks," he told her, swallowing the last bit of his meal. "You're very welcome," she giggled.

Sora stole a glance at her, and saw she was watching him intently. He faced her and she shifted closer to him.

"You know," Kairi bit her lip, "I've missed you."

Sora felt his heart soar at her words. Vaguely, he wondered if it was good that she had this much power over his emotions.

Before he could react, she had reached over and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He almost yelped in surprise, to find himself so close to her, and for her to put them in such a position so readily, he wasn't prepared for.

Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer and breathing in the sweet fruity scent of her hair.

"Please don't disappear again," she whispered in his ear.

"I won't," he whispered back.

Ten, twenty seconds passed (Sora didn't count), before she pulled away. Sora wanted to say something, but understood anything he could say would be inadequate. He would just have to ride the wave of this relaxed atmosphere to its inevitable conclusion.

Kairi shivered. "It's cold in here," she observed, breaking the silence. If she was self-conscious about her sudden display of affection, she didn't show it.

"Yeah, it gets like that," Sora remarked, though he felt anything but cold.

Kairi stood and pushed down on the window. "Is this thing closed?"

"Shut tight," Sora confirmed. "I don't know," he shrugged, "I think there's just some cracks in the walls."

He felt a sudden feeling of shame ripple through him. He had been in her house, with its winding staircase and marble kitchen and here they were, in his dumpy old apartment that seemed to breath cold air.

"You don't have to stay, you know," he mumbled, facing the floor. Kairi looked at him strangely.

"What do you mean? I want to stay," she stated. Sora's eyes remained firmly planted on the ground. Kairi waited for him to say something.

"Nothing, forget it," he dismissed. Kairi remained in place for a few moments, watching him curiously, before returning to her spot next to him.

There it was. That chill again. He had come to the precipice and was perched precariously over the edge. She was cold, he was cold. But their discomforts were mutually exclusive entities.

He took the leap. "So, are you gonna tell me what that was all about with Riku?"

Kairi's expression changed instantly. "What do you mean?" she asked, her voice hardening.

"'I was here with Naminé'?' You don't _have_ to be here at all, you know," he pointed out before he could stop himself. He didn't know why he was doing this. All he remembered was that stinging jab in his heart.

Kairi seemed to consider her words carefully. "There wasn't really any time to explain anything."

"What is there to explain?" Sora asked.

"I don't know," Kairi shrugged, "I didn't want to start anything."

"Start what?"

" _Anything_. I was trying to protect you, Sora."

Sora scoffed. "I think you're trying to protect _you_."

Anger flashed across her face. "He doesn't know we're friends, at least, he didn't. I didn't want to make anything weird. I didn't think _you_ knew him so well that he would come here."

"Right," Sora smiled humorlessly and ignored the accusation. "It's fine, I was just curious."

Kairi was quiet. Sora wished he could call it a victory, but really it was anything but. He resolved to stop inflaming the situation, she had come to check up on him after all.

"It's just frustrating," he said somberly.

"What is?"

"Being stuck here all day, I guess. All I do is stare at the walls, not exactly a thrilling experience."

"I'm sure," Kairi said softly. "I'm sorry, Sora."

"Don't worry about it," he forced a smile, "there's not much to look at out there anyway," he nodded out the window.

Kairi contemplated his admission. "I wish you could've seen the Islands," she said, staring out at the sky plaintively. "I think you would've liked it."

"Yeah, I probably would have," Sora agreed.

They left their discussion there and let it fade peacefully away. Sitting together, Sora found that he could really enjoy her presence when they didn't talk, when the baggage between them did not leave every word freighted with hidden connotations. She was kind, she was caring, wasn't that all that mattered?

He spoke before he could halt himself. "Have you ever seen a bee without wings?"

Kairi laughed. "What?"

"Nevermind."


	11. Decline

Sora trailed down the sidewalk. The wind lashed at his face, and he dug his chin deeper into his coat. The days were getting shorter, the weather colder, and autumn would soon give way to winter. He breathed in the cold air and felt the sting in his nose, it would be getting very cold in the apartment, hopefully the heater would be working.

The bells above the door jangled as he entered the deli. He spoke quickly to preempt the noisy greeting he knew was coming.

"Hey, Pete."

Pete looked up from his magazine, slouched over the counter, his nose dug in the pages. He grinned when he saw Sora.

"Well, I'll be damned. How long has it been?"

"A while," Sora admitted, smirking at the mirth in the older man's tone.

"Thought ya'd never come back, boy! What kept ya?"

"I've been busy," Sora said, stepping into an aisle and scouring the selections for something to temper the hunger in his stomach.

"Yeah? How's school been?"

Sora pursed his lips. "Fine," he answered.

"That's good…real good. I remember when I was your age-"

It was at this point that Sora tuned out. He scanned the items displayed before him, coming to settle on the star shaped cookie wrapped tightly in plastic. He grabbed it and inspected the label.

"…I told 'im to just put the damn thing down and-"

"Pete?"

He stopped speaking and looked at Sora curiously. "What?"

"What is this?" Sora held up the cookie. Pete stared at him blankly.

"Did ya read the label?"

"Yeah," Sora nodded, "but how come I've never seen it around here before?"

"Oh, well, I think that's a new one. Got a whole shipment of them last week, they're supposed to look like some exotic fruit, pow-poo something…"

"Paopu," Sora tested the name on his lips. It was good. He smiled. "I'll take it."

"Alright," Pete nodded. Sora walked over to the counter, caught sight of the tiny flip phones hanging from their displays and grabbed a replacement for good measure. He put some munny down on the counter and slid it over to Pete. He had taken to spending the pouches stashed away under his bed. They were no longer in debt, nobody was coming back for it, what difference did it make?

"Keep the change," he said. Pete looked at him uncertainly.

"Alright…thanks, Sora."

Sora nodded in acknowledgement and left the store. He held up the star shaped cookie in his hand and his stomach grumbled in response. He was thankful for the little things.

* * *

Something had changed. Sora noticed it as he walked the halls to his first period class. He caught the sidelong glances thrown his way by the herds of individuals clustered by the lockers, heard the whispers as he passed. The feeling only intensified as he sat in class, he could feel the eyes boring holes into the back of his head. Sora didn't know what had prompted this sudden shift in public perception that had suddenly made him so conspicuous, but he knew he didn't like it. It made him sweat.

He was on his way to the cafeteria, making a conscious effort to ignore the stares and continue onward, when Aerith stepped out of the Guidance Office and spotted him in the crowd. Sora saw her lips curve up into that welcoming smile and he groaned inwardly.

"Sora, we've missed you," she said to him as he attempted to pass.

"Yeah, thanks," he muttered. He had to move quickly, or it would be too late.

"Why don't you come into my office? I feel like it's been forever since we've had a chat," she said, her lips moving ever further up along her face.

Sora stopped and turned, ever so reluctantly. It couldn't be worse than whatever spectacle was awaiting him in the cafeteria, he supposed.

They moved into her office and Sora sunk into the familiar brown leather seat that he had grown so accustomed to.

"So," she began, settling into her own seat, "how have you been?"

"Fine, I guess," he responded rather noncommittally.

"Oh? I'm glad to hear it," she said.

"Yeah, our finances are a bit better now, so…" he trailed off, trying to grasp on to some topic that would allow him to steer the conversation somewhere safe.

"I see," Aerith nodded, "I was told you had to take leave because you had suffered a medical emergency. May I ask what happened?"

Sora froze. "I-I hurt myself," he said, mentally chiding himself as she raised an eyebrow at his stutter.

"I mean…well, I…I was skating with Roxas…and I tripped down some steps and hit my head. It was pretty bad."

"Oh," she looked at him with uncertain eyes, and Sora could tell she didn't buy a word of it. He waited for her to call him out, rip his hastily fabricated and poorly contrived story to shreds.

She didn't. Instead, she gave him a look of understanding. "Are you alright?" she asked. Her question put a stop to his nervous tittering, and her tone sent an image of a crimson haired girl flashing through his mind.

"Yeah," he said, and his own tone softened, "I'm alright."

"…because when people go through a trauma, sometimes it helps to talk about it."

Sora said nothing, mostly because he wasn't sure what to say. Here was a chance to spill his guts out onto the office floor, not something he was particularly intent on doing anyway, but it was there. He could feel the words building inside him, he wanted to speak, he realized. He so badly wanted to speak.

"I guess I'm just disappointed."

Aerith nodded without missing a beat. "Why do you feel disappointed?"

Sora took a moment to consider his words. "When I got hurt…I…"

He stopped. Aerith watched him intently, silently imploring him to continue.

"I saw something…or felt something, I guess. I was lying on the ground and…and I remember everything just looked so…so _beautiful_. I could see the bugs in the grass and the sun…it was going up over the rooftops and for one moment everything felt… _real_. It felt like I was really…really…"

"Really…?" Aerith pressed.

"Alive."

They sat in silence and Sora was almost beginning to feel embarrassed when she questioned, "How do you feel now?"

Sora shrugged. "The same as always. Whatever it was, it's gone."

Aerith hummed and seemed to ponder his words. Sora rolled his eyes.

"It's funny," he said, "people talk about having these life-changing experiences all the time, near death or whatever. But let me tell you, regular life sure has a way of picking away at it."

"Have you thought about maybe channeling what you experienced into something positive? Maybe you don't have to necessarily feel whatever it was you felt, but surely you can learn from it," she suggested.

"Oh, I learned from it alright," Sora chuckled. "Nothing changes."

* * *

The rest of the school day followed in a bubble of growing discomfort. The stares and the whispers were dying down, but the malaise was only growing. It grew exponentially when he spotted Kairi in the halls with her friends. Sora wondered how, after all she had said to him, after everything she had shared in her confidence, she could laugh and jest and pretend with them. He imagined she must be some kind of wonderful actor. A set of skills so carefully honed over years of practice that it was nothing if not second nature to her. He reminded himself to ask her what she wanted to be when she grew up. He would spend some more munny on himself if he guessed correctly.

Sora made sure to steer clear from her immediate vicinity and left the building, following the frenzied crowd of younglings out onto the street and began the walk home. When he had come about halfway he stopped, he thought the malaise would dissipate the farther he was from school, but the closer to home he came, the more he found it grew. Taking root deep inside him and forcing him to turn back. It was guiding him somewhere new now, someplace he had tried to force from his thoughts.

Sora arrived at the corner where just a few short weeks ago he had been selling controlled substances to all too willing customers. There was no one here now. It was too early for that, he assumed. He waltzed over to the stoop, hands deep in his pockets, and recalled the hours spent sitting on those very steps. He felt good, now. Better. He wondered what Yuffie and Xion were up to.

The sound of the ocean lapping against the nearby piers cut through his contemplation and he turned his head towards the docks. Pressing forward, he walked along the riverfront, glancing down at the black foamy water as it rose and fell against the concrete barrier. Such a soothing sound, he thought, if only everything sounded like that.

Sora caught site of a figure seated on the edge of one of the piers up ahead. Lanky, with feet dangling over the open water and sporting a strange looking hat that drooped sideways. A top hat, perhaps. Sora couldn't be sure, he was never one for fashion. Nonetheless, he moved towards the figure, stopping only when he was standing behind him. A boy, older, younger, he didn't know. He felt drawn to this spot all the same.

"Mind if I take a seat?" Sora asked. The boy in the hat didn't turn around, made no sound of acknowledgement, didn't even move. He stared out at the water, looking out across the river at the city whose denizens were just beginning to make shine as the sun fell below the horizon.

A silent assent. Sora nodded, taking a seat beside the boy. "Okay," he said. Sora looked down at the water. One could mistake it for a bottomless abyss, without the waves. Down, down, down. He turned to the boy. Sora wasn't one for initiating conversation, and something told him this boy wasn't either. Still, he felt a strange affinity to this bearer of peculiar headwear.

"What's your name?" he asked. The boy made didn't move an inch. His eyes remained focus on the river, glittering in the last vestiges of sunlight.

"Goofy," the boy replied, after a moment of weighty silence. His answer struck a nostalgic chord within Sora. Vaguely, he remembered Roxas once mentioning the name. Sora wracked his brain, certain that there was more to it.

"What are you doing out here, Goofy?" Sora inquired. He wasn't sure what was driving him to ask questions, what had prompted him to even sit here. It was like there was a rocket inside him, sending him on an irrevocable crash course towards something else.

"I sit here sometimes," he said. The boy spoke funny, Sora noted. A speech impediment, maybe.

"Uh-huh." Sora's collection of prompts had run dry. There was nothing there. He stared out at the water, tracing Goofy's gaze to a spot out in the center of the river.

"Your brother doesn't like me," Goofy spoke suddenly, causing Sora to turn to him in surprise.

"Huh?"

"Your brother. Doesn't like me," he repeated. His voice was monotone, as if he were simply stating an irreducible law of nature. It was off-putting, Sora thought, it didn't suit his appearance.

"Why do you say that?" Sora played along. He felt he was on trial now. He was on the stand, answering for sins past.

"I hear him whispering, him and the others. Always whispering about me," Goofy murmured. "They whisper about you too."

Sora took a breath. "My brother…is a jerk. You should probably just ignore him."

"Can't," Goofy shook his head. "I'm stuck with him."

"Well, I'm sorry," Sora mumbled, ashamed of the actions of his other half. "I know how it feels."

Goofy said nothing, choosing instead to stare out at that same spot of water. Sora rocked himself self-consciously, and took another look at the river beneath his dangling feet. One little push and he could fly over the edge and into that shadowy darkness. It was so quiet, with only the roiling of the water and his own heartbeat syncing together in harmony.

"I had a brother," Goofy said. Sora gave him a hesitant smile, glad to hear him say something about himself and uncertain about all the rest.

"Had?"

"He drowned," Goofy said simply.

Sora's face fell in an instant. "Oh."

"Right over there," Goofy pointed out at the water with his thick white glove and Sora's eyes followed it to the spot that Goofy had been staring at all along.

Drowned. The word reverberated in his mind. Over and over. Like a record that would never stop spinning.

"What was his name?" he managed to ask.

"Donald."

* * *

The malaise was gone but a new weight had taken its place as Sora climbed the steps to his apartment. He sighed heavily as he stuck the key in the door and pushed it open. Immediately he became privy to a frantic rustling.

He entered to find both Roxas and Naminé on the couch. Or rather, Roxas lying on the couch with Naminé quickly extracting herself from his lap, whirling around and facing the ground. Their hair was mussed, clothes ruffled, Roxas cleared his throat awkwardly and Naminé's face had turned beet red. Sora took one glance at them and heaved another sigh, shutting the door and looking at them expectantly. He didn't even know what he wanted to hear.

"H-Hey Sora," Naminé greeted. Roxas looked a bit miffed.

"Where've you been all day?" he asked. Sora felt anger rearing to be let loose, but he reigned in his emotions. Now was not the time. He settled for sarcasm.

"What are you, our mother?" Sora bit out. Roxas' eyes widened at his remark.

"Oh wait," Sora giggled, "that wouldn't make sense." Suddenly everything was incredibly funny.

"What's your problem?" Roxas asked angrily, getting up onto his feet and clenching his fists. Naminé looked between them nervously.

"I don't know Roxas, you tell me. What _is_ my problem?" Sora said, gritting his teeth, trying and failing to withhold the rage that was seeping from every pore in his body.

Roxas took a step closer and Naminé grabbed onto his arm, but he shook it off. He jabbed his finger in Sora's chest. "I don't know what your deal is man, but whatever it is, you need to work it out."

That was it. Sora snapped, he grabbed his brother by the collar and drove him into the wall. He heard Naminé scream in surprise and he gripped Roxas' shirt tighter, moving so close to him that their noses were touching.

Sora opened his mouth to speak, to shout, to yell, but nothing came out. He had nothing to say. He let Roxas go and took a step back. Everybody remained where they were.

"Sorry," he muttered, and fled down the hall into his room. He needed air. He lifted his window and stuck his head out into the Brooklyn sky. He looked down at the little corner shops below, the residencies that stuck up into the open air and the bright yellow lampposts that dotted the landscape. He breathed in the cold musty air and became aware that his hands were shaking.

He was angry. At what, at who, he didn't have the first clue. But he was angry.

Sora sat down on his mattress and listened to the muffled sounds of Naminé and his brother speaking. They were talking about him, to be sure. How could they not? Whispers.

He lay down and looked up at the ceiling, shivering as the cold enveloped him. He did not move to close his window. He didn't move at all. His thoughts shifted to Kairi. The girl was nagging at his brain. Always there on the fringes, always ready to sprout out and insert herself as the center of attention, just like real life, he thought with some disdain. But he enjoyed her company, that could not be denied. The room felt just that much emptier without her.

A voice drifted into his head, sly and subtle.

 _There are many things that need to be replaced._

Yes. Many things. Maybe there was an answer out there, somewhere. Things could not continue along the current path. He had tasted freedom once.

Sora closed his eyes and nodded off to sleep.

* * *

The next day he made a beeline straight for the cafeteria, moving past Aerith's office with purpose, he felt as if he were making a statement simply by existing.

He hesitated when he entered the lunchroom, conscious that his peers may not be done with their not so clandestine campaign of strange looks and overt whispering. But the people did not pay attention, as they never had. Life goes on.

Sora marched straight up to Riku's table, and he felt the first flutters of fear in his chest. He had forced himself to push forward, to push aside any second thoughts. He _needed_ this. It didn't pay to be afraid. He saw them all, Wakka, Tidus, Kairi, Selphie, Naminé, and the rest, and he willed himself move.

He stood behind Riku and tapped him on the shoulder. They hadn't seen him coming, but now they did. Everyone's eyes turned towards him, with the exception of Naminé, recalling perhaps what he had walked in on the night before. Wakka looked at him like he was nothing more than an ant stuck to a shoe, Tidus looked on with vague interest. Kairi was clearly confused by his sudden appearance, and stared at him questioningly. Sora ignored her.

Riku turned and looked up at him. Sora saw his eyes briefly betray surprise, but the perturbation soon became cold indifference.

"What?" he grunted.

Sora knew his mere presence was an affront to the social contract. Sora also didn't care. "I need to talk to you."

"Um…"

"Now," he demanded. Their brief words were beginning to attract the attention of the surrounding tables, and he heard the chattering in the room begin to die down.

Riku tried to recover from the clear shock of Sora's uninvited entrance into his social bubble. "Get lost," he drawled, "or I'll make you get lost."

"Riku-" Kairi began, but he held up his hand and she stopped speaking.

"I'm not leaving," Sora shook his head, "until we talk outside."

Riku jumped up and faced Sora, bringing his full height to bear on the smaller teen. "You don't want this."

Sora felt his resolve weakening, but he held his ground. "Outside."

The cafeteria went silent. Riku glanced at their surroundings nervously. Then he grabbed a fistful of Sora's shirt, and Sora felt himself being hauled out of the cafeteria and into the hall.

"What the fuck?!" Riku growled, throwing Sora against the wall and holding him in place. "Have you lost your mind?! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't beat the _shit_ out of you right here?!"

"I want back in."

"What?!" Riku exclaimed, pulling back as if he'd been stung.

"I want back in," Sora repeated, "put me back on the streets."

Riku let him go and looked at him in wonderment. "I told you, that's done. You don't owe me."

"I know," Sora said, "but this is just me. No Roxas."

"No," Riku shook his head. "Not happening."

"Why not?" Sora took a step closer, but shrunk back at Riku's withering glare. "You need more people, I can help."

"I said no. Let it go, Sora," Riku snapped. "Don't ask me again."

Riku walked back into the cafeteria and Sora was left against the wall, staring at the space the taller boy had just occupied. He had been rejected, and for what? He had thrown himself onto the fire and was spurned in return. What had it all been for, if not to secure something for himself. It couldn't be meaningless. It couldn't all be for nothing.

Sora stepped back into the cafeteria and immediately all eyes were on him. He disregarded the stares of his generation and focused in on Riku, who was settling back down at his table. He saw red.

Before even he knew what was occurring, his feet were already padding against the cafeteria floor, moving with extreme precision towards Riku, faced forward and unaware of the spiky haired missile that was presently streaking towards his back.

The others pointed at him, and Riku turned just in time to receive a right hook square in the jaw. Sora didn't give him a chance to react, grabbing his flowing silver hair and pulling him so he fell over onto the ground.

The cafeteria erupted into magnificent cheers, but to Sora the exclamations of excitement whirling around him were lost in his rage-induced haze. Above it all he heard Kairi shouting his name, and he paused.

That was enough. Riku grabbed his arm and twisted. Sora heard the pop and the pain that shot up his arm was worse than anything he had experienced in his life. Worse than Seifer, whose panicked eyes as the flames erupted around them now flitted across his vision. Turning on and off like a switch. On and off, the match that fell and rose, forward and backward.

Sora saw black spots, and he knew it was over. The next punch connected with his nose and knocked him flat out on the floor.

The spots became the world. This time sleep would come easy.


	12. Catharsis

Sora awoke in the cool comfort of solitude. Surrounded on all sides by linen drapes and tucked comfortably in a soft white blanket, he rubbed away the gathering wetness in the corner of his eyes with his left hand, and found that he could not move his right. He looked down and found his arm held in place by a splint.

For a moment he could not remember what had happened and terror gripped him. Then it all came rushing back. The request, the confrontation, his humiliating loss of control. Sora shut his eyes, wishing for it all to be just a bad dream. He opened them and found he was still there, amongst the living.

There was a rustling and a shadow materialized behind the curtains, growing larger as it approached. The school nurse stuck her head in, saw he was awake, and came to his bedside.

"I thought I heard you moving around," she said, pulling out a clipboard and jotting things down with a pen.

"What happened to me?" Sora asked weakly. His voice was shaky and he cleared his throat.

"Broke your arm. You should be fine, provided you don't use it for a while."

"Oh…" There wasn't much in the way of pain, but there was a hollow aching in his arm.

"You have a visitor, should I send her in?"

Sora gave a short nod, too distracted by his own pained recollections to pay her much mind. The nurse nodded and retreated back under the curtains. The quick and forceful footsteps that approached his bed informed him that he was in trouble.

Kairi entered, and he took in the fullness of her appearance. She looked troubled, tired, stress lines creasing her forehead. Despite it all, Sora observed that it didn't really matter. Her youthful vibrancy was undiminished.

"Sora," she breathed, taking hold of the handles on his bedside, "we've really gotta stop meeting like this."

"Well…" he smiled sheepishly at her, but truly he was afraid. Afraid that he had screwed up one too many times. She didn't need him. If there was ever a time to drop their friendship, now would be it.

Kairi sat down on the chair beside his bed and he could see that she was tense. She looked down at his broken arm and reached out to it, she turned her eyes to him.

"Can I?"

Sora nodded, unable to speak. She placed her hand on the splint, gently tracing it down the length of his arm, stopping just before she reached naked skin. Sora shivered.

"Does it hurt?" she asked him.

Sora shrugged.

Her eyes met his, and after a beat she asked softly, "Why?"

Sora turned away, knowing full well what she meant and feeling the sting in his eyes. "I don't know…I don't-" He swallowed, holding back the tears that threatened to fall.

"Sora?" she placed a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to me."

"I don't know why I did it. I'm sorry I did. I know it was stupid, I don't know what I was thinking," he admitted.

Kairi took a breath and leaned back in her seat. "It's bad, Sora."

"I know," he nodded. If she was trying to make him feel better, she wasn't doing a very good job of it. "Go ahead and say it."

"Say what?" Kairi asked.

"That you don't wanna be my friend anymore. It's okay, I get it," he said, the regret burrowing deeper into his heart. Kairi looked at him, surprised by his frank request.

"Sora…"

"What are you waiting for? Go ahead."

"I don't want to," she said, folding her hands in her lap and turning towards the floor morosely.

"Why not?" Sora questioned, his tone becoming forceful. He glared at her, wishing only to dispense with the nonsense that surrounded them. " _Why not?"_

"Because I like you."

Her answer stopped him in his tracks. The words were simple, but they hung in the air, suspended in space, and they pressed on him. Before he could respond, she spoke again.

"Because I can trust you."

She was shaking, her hands clasped in a tight neat ball. She looked into his eyes and he saw the tears welling up in hers.

"Because you're _my_ friend."

Kairi stood, wiping the tears from her eyes, and she looked down at him.

"You should stop feeling so sorry for yourself."

She left, melting away behind the curtains and Sora stared after her, dumbfounded.

* * *

Sora returned home after a rather raucous meeting with the principal, in which he was excoriated for what was deemed "abhorrent behavior" and slapped with a one-week suspension. He entered his apartment, feeling dazed and unsure of himself all the same.

Roxas was on him like a hawk. "Are you out your _mind?!"_

"Not in the mood," Sora said, bending around his livid brother. Roxas stepped in front of him.

"Could you please - please, just walk me through your thought process here?! We just got out of trouble with him and you decide it's a good idea to _attack him?! In the middle of the cafeteria?!"_

"I said I'm not in the mood," Sora repeated. Roxas didn't budge and Sora let out a tired breath. "I don't know, Roxas. What do you want me to say?"

"I want you tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, that'd be a good start. Do you need to like – talk to someone or something?"

"I'm fine," Sora stated. "I'm _fine."_

" _Fine_ people don't go assaulting other people in front of the entire school-"

"It wasn't the entire school, first of all."

"- _fine_ people don't go running off after school and come back late at night-"

"You're exaggerating."

"- _fine_ people actually have something positive to say every once in a while."

"You know what, Roxas?" Sora pushed his brother out of the way. "Maybe you're my problem, you ever think of that?"

"Oh," Roxas laughed, " _I'm_ your problem?"

"Yeah," Sora turned on him and quickly closed the distance between them, "if it weren't for-" He stopped and realized just how close he was to letting loose. Just how close he was to unloading all of his emotions. He didn't want another breakdown; he didn't want a mess.

Sora fell back onto the couch. "Nothing. I'm sorry."

Roxas appeared taken aback at his sudden reversal. "I-It's okay," he stuttered. Roxas took a seat next to him. "I'm just…you're my brother, Sora. I just wanna help."

"I know," Sora said. "I know."

* * *

A week was good, Sora thought. A week to decompress and reflect on what had happened. He wouldn't have to face everyone at school. Who knows what they thought of him now. Probably took him for a nut case, with some justification, Sora figured. He looked at his new flip phone, he hadn't added any of his old contacts, not that he had possessed his older one for very long, but he remembered numbers, and one number flashed in his head like a glowing neon sign on the interstate.

Lying on his mattress and with the boredom beginning to take hold, he dialed it and listened to the ringing in anxious anticipation. He licked his lips, hoping his vocal chords would actually work as intended.

"Hello?" her smooth, sweet voice filled his ear and he smiled in spite of himself.

"Hey, it's Sora," he announced. There was a pause.

"Oh," she said, "I didn't recognize the number."

"Yeah, I got a new phone. Kind of lost my old one," he chuckled.

"Lost? You mean stolen, or broken, or whatever it was that actually happened," she said cheekily.

"Yeah…" he trailed off. "Listen, Kairi…I'm sorry about earlier."

"I actually wanted to apologize to you," she said, "I didn't mean it like that."

"No, it's fine. I get it, what you meant. I've been acting like an idiot."

"You're not an idiot," she argued, "you're a good person, Sora."

"You say that like you're certain."

"I am certain."

"How can you be so sure?" he questioned.

"Because you have a good heart. My grandmother used to tell me this story…"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. She said that a long time ago, everyone was happy, and they lived in peace because they lived in the light…"

"Uh huh."

"She said that people couldn't handle the light, they wanted so much of it that they fought over it and lost it to darkness. But the light survived, hidden away in the hearts of children."

"That's some story."

"You've got light in your heart, Sora. Because you don't take. You don't want and want and want, you're not like those people. I know you don't take all of this for granted."

Sora felt something stir in his chest as he listened to her speak. An influx of giddiness ran through him and he discovered that he did want something. He wanted her. He wanted to see her. He wanted to be near her.

"Hey Kairi?"

"Yeah Sora?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but he hesitated.

"Sora?"

Nothing to fear but fear itself.

"Wanna go somewhere?"

This time would be different.

* * *

They sat together at the edge of an old skating park. It was closed for the night, but it was never particularly difficult to slip inside, not with the aging rotund security guard dozing off at his post. The moon bathed them in its blue glow and the heavens twinkled like flickering candles. Miraculously, the weather was mild and the malaise had not followed. It was just them, leaning back, shoulders pressed together, neither could say they minded.

"We're probably gonna have to ask for an extension on our project," Kairi said, looking up at the stars.

Sora laughed. "Yeah, we're really good at doing nothing, huh?"

"If you weren't such a lazy _bum_ we wouldn't have to," she jested. Her smile was infectious, her perfectly white teeth and rosy colored cheeks dazzling. Sora couldn't stop staring.

"What?" she asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

Sora shook his head. "No, you look good just the way you are."

The rosy hue on Kairi's cheeks became the color of her hair and she looked away, smiling bashfully. A horn blasted in the distance. To Sora it sounded like a note on a piano. The city was playing them their very own melody.

He felt calm. Soothed. Not a thing in the world could tear them from this precious moment. He could ask and she would answer.

"Can I ask you something?" he prompted. Kairi turned to him and nodded.

"Do you remember when we first met?"

"You mean when you knocked me down?" she reminded him cleverly. He smirked. "Yeah, when I knocked you down."

"I do," she affirmed.

Sora took the time to consider his words. "You were going into Aerith's office…"

Kairi's shoulders slumped and the jovial atmosphere seemed to deflate just a little. "Yeah…"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Sora said quickly, "I guess I was just wondering…why?"

Kairi chewed on her lip, as if deliberating whether to speak at all. "She's helpful, that's all. Sometimes it's just – I mean – I try to go later in the day, so nobody will know."

Sora nodded. He was interested in hearing what they discussed, but he kept his mouth respectfully shut. He waited for her to continue, but she stopped, staring across the park, her eyes following a firefly as it crested over them and above a fence.

Sora looked at her, messy wisps of ruby-red hair falling in front of her face, her eyes shining in the light of the moon, and he felt bold. He took her hand in his, and her far-off gaze snapped to him.

"I'm glad you're here," he smiled. "I'm glad we're friends."

Kairi's lip twitched, wavering somewhere between a repressed smile and the trembling of someone about to cry.

"I am too," she whispered.

They sat on the edge of the skate ramp, one hand held tightly in the other, and let the music of the night lull them into peaceful serenity.

The passing of a car broke the moment, its headlights lighting up the park. Sora turned, thinking perhaps that the old guard had awakened after all, but the car soon drifted down the road and they were alone once again.

"I should get going," Kairi said, removing her hand from his and standing up. "Don't want my parents to find out I'm gone."

"Yeah," Sora agreed, "you want me to walk you back?"

Kairi shook her head. "You just get home in one piece, okay?" she simpered.

"Can do," he grinned.

* * *

Sora busied himself over the days that followed. A renewed determination had taken root, as if a switch deep inside him had been flipped on. He bounced around the apartment, finding spots to clean, curtains to straighten, bedrooms to sweep. He frequently journeyed out to Pete's Deli, bringing home more food than was needed. He stopped only after Roxas questioned his wherewithal to purchase it all.

He thought about getting a job, but they had kept some of the profits from their previous munny making venture. There was enough to keep them afloat in the mid-term.

"Gee, maybe you should become a housemaid, I hardly recognize the place," Roxas remarked one day.

Sora simply shrugged and smiled.

The week passed and the weekend arrived. Sora searched the apartment for an anomaly, something out of place, something that needed to be fixed. When he found nothing, he straightened out and looked around the empty living room, Roxas' early morning snoring emanated from behind his closed door. He heard a clattering sound coming from down below, and peeked out his curtain to take a gander at the source of the noise.

There were stands and tables being laid out all across the street, stretching down the road in both directions and branching off into different avenues. He saw a big yellow tent being inflated a little ways away. Sora scratched his head, intrigued by the spectacle playing out just below his apartment.

"What are you staring at?" Roxas questioned, yawning as he entered the room.

"What's going on down there?" Sora asked.

"Huh?" Roxas walked over and peered out at the street below. "Oh, that's just the festival."

"Festival?"

"Yeah, the street festival. I guess they're setting it up now."

"I didn't know there was a street festival," Sora said, still watching the set up.

"Well, now you know. I was gonna go with Naminé…you should come too, if you want."

"Yeah…" An idea occurred to him suddenly, and he walked to his room, shutting the door and pulling his phone from his pocket. He flipped it open and went into his contacts, his fingers hovering over Kairi's name. So easy. It would be so easy to invite her, all he had to do was press the button and call her. Surely she would accept his generous offer. She had, after all, left the comfort of her riverside loft to sit with him in a skating park.

Sora felt a nervous tingle in his chest. She was probably busy, entertaining or being entertained by one or some or all of her multitude of friends. Prudent it was not, to call her on a Saturday and invite her to a street festival in Brownsville.

He sighed and closed his phone.

* * *

The streets filled up almost as soon as the preliminary construction was completed. Sora was almost surprised at how busy it was. He was hard pressed to recall a time when he had seen so many people in one location. The crowd shifted and jostled, some people moving energetically to the beat of the booming music playing from the variety of stereos strategically placed around the neighborhood. Again, the weather was mild. El Nino, something. Sora sure didn't mind.

Roxas had left to get Naminé, leaving Sora to navigate the swelling mass of people by himself. It is no small comfort, left to one's own devices in the midst of an individuality destroying sea of bodies. This was something else compared to the tension that came with the halls of Brooklyn High, to the rows of students filling its cafeteria, to the silence of the classrooms. This was authenticity. This was liberty.

A bead of sweat trickled down Sora's temple, and he laughed merrily. Here was something real, something tangible.

Through the joyous compression he saw a stand advertising deep fried funnel cakes ( _coney island original!)_. His stomach demanded he push forward and he obliged, pressing through the local patrons and reaching the stand.

"I'll take one funnel cake please," he said, digging into his pocket for some spare munny.

"That's alright," a hand reached over and stopped him, "it's on the house."

Sora looked up and found himself gaping at the vendor before him. Tidus, dressed shamelessly in a checkered shirt and a cap that declared his name in black and gold lettering.

Sora stared, unsure of what to say.

"Surprised?" Tidus queried cheekily.

"I, uh…yeah, I guess," Sora spit out, "didn't expect to see you here is all."

"I help the people who run this joint, it's not a bad gig, y'know? I like to do my part."

"Right…" Sora began to back away.

"Listen," Tidus spoke, "about what happened in school…"

"Forget about it. I feel stupid enough as it is."

"Actually, I think you've got serious balls."

Sora stared at him. "What?"

"Yeah," Tidus nodded, "going after Riku like that...pretty crazy…but crazy isn't so bad."

"What are you saying?" Sora asked.

"I'm saying," Tidus' tone dropped, "that you and I should talk sometime."

Sora wasn't sure what to make of that. It was clear that he was insinuating something. Sora opened his mouth to respond.

"Hey!" the lady behind him shouted, "Are you going to buy something or what?!"

"Sorry," Sora mumbled, stepping off of the line. He shot Tidus a questioning glance, but he had seemingly devoted himself entirely to servicing the woman. He remained where he was, waffling between waiting and leaving. When Tidus refused to meet his gaze, he turned and left the stand.

He wandered through the festival, jubilant festivities ringing hollow in his ears.

 _You and I should talk sometime_

Sora barely had time to consider the words when he collided into someone's back. He stumbled backwards and saw a head of wavy black hair whip around.

"What the hell?!" an angry voice exclaimed, fierce eyes turning to glare at him.

Sora's face broke out into a smile and those hard eyes softened in recognition.

"Sora?"

"Hi, Xion."

"What happened to your arm?" Xion asked, pointing at the splint on his arm. Sora deliberated whether or not to lie.

"Broken. Riku," he answered shortly.

Xion reached out and squeezed his uninjured arm affectionately. "What happened to you? You never came back to work, we thought-"

Yuffie broke in, pushing Xion aside and leaning into Sora's face to get a good look at him, she grinned. "Hey, Sora!"

"Yuffie," he acknowledged with a chuckle. The three of them stood in a semi-circle, taking in the others' appearance. He hadn't known them for that long, nor had it been long since he'd last seen them, but he was happy they were here. Their presence exuded the kind of familiarity he could find enjoyment in.

"Is it true? What they're saying?" Yuffie asked excitedly. Xion glared at her.

"Is what who's saying true?" Sora asked.

"That you blew up Seifer's gang," she stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I-" Sora felt his heart stop and tasted the dryness in his mouth. He didn't know what to say. Effectively tied at the tongue.

Xion seemed to sense his discomfort. "Leave him alone, Yuff."

Yuffie ignored her. "Is that why you left? What happened?"

"Riku took me off the job," Sora said, not liking how the words sounded at all. "I'm done with all that."

"Oh…" Yuffie said, gazing off down the street pensively. "That makes sense."

"What makes sense?" Sora asked quickly. Surely, it was the most nonsensical thing one could ever hope to hear.

"It's pretty obvious," she said matter-of-factly, "Riku made you quit cause he was scared of you."

"What? Riku…scared of me?"

"Uh huh," Yuffie nodded. "I mean…you _did_ blow them up, didn't you?"

Sora stared at his feet. That was enough.

"So he was afraid, cause you did something he couldn't do."

"It was an accident," Sora protested, "I wasn't supposed to _be_ there."

Yuffie said nothing, continuing to appear as if she were in deep contemplation. Xion looked at them in annoyance. "Alright, alright," she said, "do we have to talk shop?"

"I'm just saying, Sora did something Riku'd been trying to get done for a while. Don't you think it's strange how he makes Sora quit right after?" Yuffie prompted.

"Sure, I guess," Xion shrugged. "Does it really matter?"

Yuffie looked away irritably. "Whatever," she grumbled, "I'm starving." She took off at high speed towards a pizza stand, leaving Sora and Xion to stare after her.

"Well…"

"I'll see you around, Sora," Xion said, giving him a wave and walking off to catch up with Yuffie. Sora watched her go, unsure of what to make of the scene he had just been presented with.

Their words stuck with him. _If_ what Yuffie had said was true, _if_ Riku had really taken him off the streets because he was afraid, then that would-

 _That would what?_

Nothing changes, he reminded himself. Nothing changes. He looked down at his broken arm. Nothing changes.

Sora stood there, staring at the ground and allowing the conversation to play over and over his head when he spotted two heads of golden hair out of the corner of his eye. Most likely his brother and Naminé, he thought. Sora followed and the crowd grew thicker. He struggled to carve a path through the lingering people, breaking out and finding that he had lost sight of them.

He was about to turn back when he heard laughter. His head snapped towards the source of the noise, convinced that the distinct velvety laugh he heard sounded oh so familiar.

It was. Kairi and Naminé stood off to the side, chatting animatedly about something. Roxas stood with them, hands stuck in his pockets and a bored expression gracing his face. Sora was about to call to them when he saw the muscular boy that approached Kairi from behind.

Riku. He placed his hand on Kairi's shoulder and she turned to him, perhaps surprised by the sudden interruption. He smiled down at her and she reciprocated, and suddenly they were speaking to each other. Roxas looked uncomfortable and Naminé smiled and took his hand reassuringly.

Sora watched them and he felt a strange sinking feeling. His broken arm began to ache and his throat constricted wretchedly. He felt uneasy and distressed, watching the girl who had given him so much to hope for speaking enthusiastically with the boy who had caused him so much trouble.

He wanted to look away but he couldn't. Someone gripped his shoulder.

Sora looked up and was greeted with the sight of thick spiky red hair that stuck out in all directions, much like his own. It was a man looking down at him with emerald eyes, odd teardrop shaped markings under each eye; his face was stunningly symmetrical, chiseled like that of an ancient Greek statue, broad shoulders that filled the length of his black coat, sleeves pulled up tightly around his arms. In his other hand he held a lighter.

"Hello," he grinned.

"Um, do I know you?" Sora asked. He tried to look back at Kairi but his view was obstructed by the crowd and he moved to get away, but the man tightened his grip.

The red haired man smiled wider, if that were possible. "Not yet you don't. Why don't we take a walk?"

He was led away deeper into the masses and a feeling of remembrance swept him.

"What do you want?" Sora demanded, pulling his shoulder from the man's grasp. The man looked at him, thoroughly amused.

He held his hands up in mock surrender. "I just wanna talk, that's all."

"So talk," Sora said.

"Okay," the man gave an exaggerated nod. "Somewhere a bit more private though."

He pointed to an alley and Sora shrugged. Risky, perhaps. Sora followed him anyway.

"So," the man said once they had traversed a sizable distance from the festival, "I'm here to offer you an opportunity."

"An opportunity?" Sora asked. "Who are you?"

The man grinned some more. "Call me Axel."

"Okay, Axel…what do you want?"

"Well _Sora,_ to be blunt about it, I represent some people who have been looking at you very closely and we're interested in seeing what you could do for us."

"How do you know my name?" Sora asked. There was something very wrong occurring here, that much he knew.

The man named Axel laughed. "Everyone knows your name. You did quite a number down at Sunset Park."

Sora narrowed his eyes at him. "Who are you, _really?_ "

"You ever hear that song, 'Winds of Change'? Well, the winds are changing," Axel smirked, "old people go out, new people come in. We think you'd be a great candidate for newness, you know what I'm saying?"

Sora shook his head.

Axel waved him off. "That's alright. Maybe you speak a different language," he reached into his coat and pulled out a pouch of munny. He held it out to Sora.

"Take it," he encouraged. Sora reached for it, convinced it was a trick, when Axel didn't pull it away, he tentatively took it.

"There's more where that came from. A lot more."

Sora looked at him. "I don't get it."

Axel pointed at his injured arm. "How'd you get that?"

"Accident," Sora muttered.

"I'm sure you did," Axel hummed. "How about you forget everything that came before. _This_ is the first day of the rest of your life and-"

"Organization," Sora said, "you're with the Organization."

"Well," Axel smiled, "didn't take you _that_ long."

"So this," Sora held up the munny pouch, "is so that I'll work for you?"

"Think of it as an investment," Axel said. "I want you to want to work for us…directly. Forget Riku. Kid's on his way out and you're gonna help us with that."

"What do you mean, on his way out?"

"I mean what I mean," Axel shrugged. "Take from it what you will. But what do you say? Can I count on you to swing by…say, Wednesday?"

Sora stared at the man with fiery hair and images passed furiously through his mind. Roxas and Naminé on the couch, her face red as a tomato as she leapt off him. Him and Kairi, sitting down at the edge of the skate park, watching a lonely firefly flicker on and off in the night as he held her hand tightly in his own. Riku, placing his hand on her shoulder and smiling down at her. His arm snapping. His mother screaming. Goofy murmuring.

He thought of bees, of that single wingless creature, sifting through the grass as a house disintegrated behind him.

"Okay."


	13. Light

**_we're officially in M territory_**

* * *

Sora sat comfortably on the bleachers, watching the collection of children sprint across the gymnasium floor, bouncing and tossing a basketball between them. Their sneakers squeaked against the hardwood floor; someone tossed and scored.

He saw her before he heard her. One of the side doors opened and Kairi stuck her head in, her red hair shifting wildly as she quickly scanned the room, her eyes coming to rest on him. She smiled genuinely at him and he couldn't resist smiling back. She made her way over and climbed the bleachers.

"Hey," she chimed, coming to sit beside him.

"What's up?" Sora asked her.

"I didn't see you in the cafeteria, so…"

"Yeah," Sora turned his gaze back towards the basketball game, "I figured it'd be better if I came here."

A funny silence followed, neither knowing what to say.

Kairi cleared her throat. "Were you at that street festival the other day? Roxas said you were coming but you never showed."

"No," Sora said, "I got sick." It sounded unconvincing even to himself.

Kairi looked at him for a moment. "Well…" she chewed her lip. He noticed she had a habit of doing that, briefly wondering whether she might just be nervous more often than she let on.

"I wanted to ask you something," she said, her eyes darting down to the floor.

Sora nodded. "Shoot."

Kairi opened her mouth to speak. "Would-"

The bell rang. The kids around them sprung up almost simultaneously, some rushing down the steps and others choosing to hop over the bleachers, eager to spill out into the halls and indulge in six minutes of freedom.

"What?!" Sora called, straining to hear her against the multitude of shouting adolescents. Kairi shook her head, seemingly having given up on making her voice heard. Instead, she bent over and brought her lips to his ear.

"I'll ask you later," she said, and the sudden huskiness in her voice made his chest tighten. Kairi held her pose, one, two; Sora breathed and then she was gone. Lost in the crowd. He remained seated for a while, waiting for the stream of children to thin before leaving the gym.

Sora walked to his locker, navigating through the halls with the skill of someone with several years of accumulated expertise. In his case, that was mostly true. Sora stopped at his locker and fiddled with the lock, twisting it aimlessly, his attention drawn to the flyer posted on the neighboring locker. It looked more like a banner than anything else, white with a blue background, covered in aqua sparkles; big bold lettering declaring:

 _ **Riku's Winter Ball**_

Additional information covered the bottom. Sora stared at the flyer. Was it really December already? He tried to think back to when the color of the leaves changed, and realized there were no trees with which to make comparisons. He lifted his books from his locker and made for his next class. Time flies.

* * *

Keeping with infrequent tradition, he didn't immediately leave for home when the last bell rang. Instead he wandered down the streets, the sky darkening much quicker than usual. Or perhaps he just hadn't been paying attention. He thought about going down to the docks, something he hadn't been able to bring himself to do since he had met Goofy. The image of that tall, funny boy pointing to that spot in the river, the water rippling like someone had just fallen in, remained with him. In a way, it soured his image of the city just beyond.

No, instead he stopped at the park he had taken Kairi to. A day that, in retrospect, was not too long ago. Sora took a seat on one of the swings, rocking himself back and forth. He looked to the garden, barren after years of neglect, and tried to remember what it looked like before people stopped coming. He couldn't.

The darkness of the sky maintained a dull gray hue; it was probably going to rain. Sora began the walk home. Some crickets chirped and he heard a bottle smashing somewhere off in the distance. He flinched, his body tensing at the sound. Walking around at night, given what had previously occurred, probably not the best idea, he thought.

Sora came to his apartment without incident, but he stopped when he saw the front door ajar. He stepped inside.

His apartment looked like another one of Roxas's parties had been thrown in full force. The couch was overturned, the television smashed, kitchen appliances lying about the floor, one of the curtains torn from the window. Roxas was sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, looking dazed.

Sora took a sharp breath, taking in the ruined sight before him. "Roxas?"

Roxas jumped, his head snapping to Sora. "Oh," he visibly calmed.

"What the hell happened?" Sora asked, stepping over pieces of glass.

Roxas sighed and shook his head, he buried his face in his hands. "Mom," he mumbled.

Sora stopped and his heartbeat began to speed up. "What happened?" he asked again.

"I don't really know," Roxas let out a strained laugh. "Should I even ask where you were?"

"Roxas," Sora put his hands on his brother's shoulders and shook him. "Come on, man."

Roxas looked up at Sora, and Sora could see clearly the pained expression on his face. "She just barged in, I don't know. Screaming about whatever…I couldn't – what was I supposed to do?"

Sora stepped back and surveyed the damage. "What did she say, exactly?"

"I don't know," Roxas answered, "screaming about munny."

Sora felt glass crunch between his shoes as he moved into the living room. The sound was damning, and he suddenly felt hot under the collar.

"She didn't look good, Sora," Roxas spoke sullenly. "Really bad, I've never seen her like that."

Sora said nothing. He moved down the hall to his room. His mattress was untouched, the pouches of munny remained where he had left them. Roxas' room was torn to shreds.

"Sora," Roxas called again, his voice heavy with emotion.

"What?"

"We have to go after her, we have to…we have to – "

Sora looked at him, amazed. "Do you see what she did?"

Roxas nodded. "I know, but you don't understand. She looked sick, out of her head."

"When doesn't she?"

Roxas' gaze hardened. "Sora."

"She _trashed_ our apartment. I'm serious, Roxas."

"She's not right," Roxas argued, "you didn't see her."

"No, but I _have_ seen her," Sora bit out. "How are we gonna replace this?" he muttered, running his hand over the broken television.

"She's our mom, Sora. She could end up getting herself killed."

Sora breathed in deeply. "What do we do?"

"We find her, we get her help, like we should have-"

"And then what?!" Sora turned on his brother. "I'll tell you what happens, they take us away, separate us. Isn't that why we went to work for Riku? To prevent that?"

"I can get myself emancipated," Roxas said, "I'm seventeen, almost eighteen. We'd be okay."

Sora sighed, leaning against the overturned couch. "I just – I don't know."

"She's family."

Sora said nothing.

"You don't turn your back on family."

* * *

He dreamt of beaches and wide open spaces. Vague, cloudy images that popped in and out of existence. Flaming red hair and mouse ears. Water.

Roxas woke him up for school, though to Sora's eyes, it was his brother that needed to be woken up. With dark bags under his eyes and a pale complexion, it was clear that Roxas hadn't gotten much sleep.

It was Wednesday. The date the man who called himself Axel had prepared for a meet up. He had been given an address on a slip of paper, told not to lose it, and to arrive at the specified time. Sora felt his skin crawl at the thought. He wasn't sure if he would go through it, if he was actually capable of doing it. He questioned whether it all wasn't some big mistake.

He had placed the paper deep in his jeans pocket and left it there. Today he threw those jeans on. There was still time. There was always time.

They walked to school and it wasn't until English when he was thrown from his thoughts. He felt a finger poking at his cheek. He turned to the perpetrator in annoyance.

"Hey," Kairi said, her smile quickly evaporating into a thin wariness at his expression. Sora hoped he didn't look too peeved.

"Hi," he responded. Sora looked around the room; people had moved their desks together and were chatting amiably. He turned to Kairi, still looking at him with that ambivalent expression. He tried to smile and failed miserably.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking down at his desk in shame.

"Hey," Kairi said, moving to catch his eyes with hers, "what's the matter?"

"It's nothing," he said.

"Come on," Kairi pressed, "you can talk to me."

Sora kept his mouth shut.

"You know, part of being friends is about trusting people, like, confiding in them," Kairi huffed.

Sora relented. "It's home stuff."

"Oh," she said, "well, do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Sora shook his head, "if that's okay."

"Of course it is," Kairi assured. She pushed her desk closer to his. "We've gotta work on this project, though."

"Right," Sora lifted a notebook from his bag. He opened it and stared at a blank page. "Uh…what are we doing again?"

"Part of the writing portion," she explained, "we've gotta write about our thoughts on the wave speech and compare them."

"Well, um…I haven't actually gotten around to reading the book yet," Sora admitted sheepishly.

Kairi looked at him, exasperated. "What have you been doing, exactly?"

Sora picked his brain for some kind of excuse. "I've been…kinda busy."

"Busy, huh?"

"Yeah," Sora nodded vigorously. "Look, I promise I'll read it tonight, okay? Won't stop 'till I'm finished."

Kairi looked at him with an odd expression that he couldn't quite discern. Her eyes seemed to glaze over.

"Kairi?"

She snapped out of it. "Huh?"

Sora stared at her. "You uh…nevermind."

Kairi turned to her work and neither spoke. Sora wiggled uncomfortably in his seat, unsure if he should be speaking or not. A thought occurred to him suddenly.

"Hey, what did you wanna ask me?"

Kairi looked at him, seemingly surprised. "What?"

"Yesterday you said you wanted to ask me something?"

"Oh…" Kairi looked away, embarrassed. "Well, I kinda wanted to see if…maybe you would…well…" she trailed off.

"You can just say it, Kairi," Sora said, unable to refrain from chuckling at her jumbled speech.

She tried a different course. "You know that party…the one Riku's having?"

"Yeah…" Sora nodded slowly. "The one that's pasted on every locker in the school?"

"Right," she confirmed, her voice dropped to a level barely above a whisper. "Do you think you could go with me?"

Sora almost recoiled from her, stunned at her request. "What?"

Kairi let out an anxious breath. "You don't have to answer me now, but just think about it, okay?"

"You _do_ realize who you're asking, right?" he questioned, unsure if he had actually heard her correctly.

"Yes," she said. The teacher was prowling the rows, peeking over the shoulders of students to view their work. "I'll explain later," she turned her attention back to her notebook, scribbling hastily away.

"Uh huh," Sora slunk back in his desk. What a world.

* * *

"You look troubled."

"You always say that," Sora said smartly, watching Aerith as she settled into her big leather chair. Always the chair.

"Well, it's particularly noticeable today." They had gotten themselves into a routine and Sora could not help but find that they were well acquainted at this point.

"Yeah," he said, tapping his hands on the arms of his chair.

"Anything you'd like to discuss?" she asked.

"Well…" Sora looked around the room, his eyes darting from one location to the next. Aerith looked at him expectantly.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "my mom came home last night, made a big scene, shook Roxas up pretty bad."

Aerith considered this for a moment. "You never talk about your parents," she noted.

"There's not much to talk about," he said.

"Well, what are they like? How is your relationship with them?"

Sora looked at his hands, finding his fingers very interesting. "My Dad was never around…I've never met him, actually. Apparently he skipped out when he found out…found out my mom was pregnant...with me."

"Did she tell you this?" Aerith inquired.

"Roxas did. He would've been maybe one at the time…so who knows if it's true. But he swears by it…said there was a big fight…just up and left one day and then he was just gone," Sora swallowed.

Aerith remained quiet, allowing the words to linger in the air. "And your mother?"

"My mother…" Sora felt a sting in his eyes, "my mother's a drunk, a druggie, not really around much."

Aerith nodded. "What happened last night?"

Sora bit his lip, shaking his head dismissively. "I wasn't there, but she tore our place up real good. Roxas was there, said she was going off about this and that and then she just left."

He laughed derisively when Aerith didn't speak. "Roxas wants to go out and find her. I could barely keep him from leaving."

"Why do you think that is?"

Sora looked up at her, he felt the wetness gathering in the corner of his eyes. "He said you can't give up on family."

"And what do you think?"

"Me…" Sora chewed on his inner cheek. He changed tack. "She wasn't always like this, or so I've heard."

"What do you mean?"

"Roxas used to tell me stories. He would tell me how she used to…how she used to feed us, hug us, give us baths. He told me she would read us stories before we went to bed…"

Aerith listened intently, he continued. "That's what he tells me. I don't remember any of it."

"What do you think changed?"

Sora shook his head, staring up at the fluorescent light embedded in the ceiling tile above. "I don't know what changed. She just…lost her way, I guess."

Sora wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "If family gives up on you…why shouldn't you give up on them?"

* * *

He held the slip of paper tightly in his hand and stared up at the large metal door. He had decided to go, after all, and meet up with Axel. The address written down had led him to Red Hook, by the docks, where there was a large collection of warehouses. Ostensibly used to unload shipping that came in from the south, it had all been abandoned years ago, courtesy of deindustrialization.

Sora stood uncertainly in front of the big metal door, one of the many that led into the numerous warehouses dotted across the long forsaken docks. Knocking seemed too formal, but he couldn't just barge in.

The answer to his question came in the form of a sharp, cool blade that pressed into the nape of his neck. He froze and slowly lifted his unbroken arm.

"Who are you?" a feminine voice demanded. Calm and collected.

Sora slowed his breathing. "I'm Sora. Axel sent me?" He held up the slip of paper, which was promptly snatched from his hand.

A few moments passed, and he felt the blade leave his neck. He turned and came face to face with a girl. Slick blonde hair and clad completely in a black robe, high heels, and armed dangerously with strange blue and yellow knives tucked firmly between her knuckles.

"Well, come on in," she smirked, and pulled open the metal door, revealing the inside of a warehouse, shelves stripped bare of all of its essential components. A single wooden table was placed in the middle of the room, with several robed figures gathered around it. They turned to Sora when sunlight filled the room.

"Sora!" he heard Axel call. "Glad you could make it."

Sora stepped into the room and walked up to the table and the people who sat at it. He was conscious of their stares. He suddenly felt very small.

"Larxene here give you a scare?" Axel asked, looking from Sora and the blonde girl with amusement in his eyes.

Sora shrugged, not trusting himself to speak.

"That's okay," Axel said, more to himself than anyone else. The others, three of them, said nothing, simply watching Sora.

"You know," Axel continued, pulling the robe from his head and freeing his spiky red hair, "I didn't think you'd actually show up."

"I didn't think I would either," Sora admitted. "But I have to ask…something."

Axel turned to his companions, giving them a mischievous smile, and then turned his attention back to Sora. "Shoot."

"What did you mean when you said Riku was on his way out?"

"Ah," Axel's smile turned into a grin, "that pique your interest?"

"I'm just wondering."

"Well," Axel leaned forward in his chair, "you know a bit about our operation, considering you were out there for a bit, am I correct in assuming this?"

Sora nodded.

"Then you understand that sometimes it's important to inject new blood into an old system."

"I'm not killing anyone," Sora interrupted sharply.

Axel's eyes widened. "I don't think I asked you to."

"I know – I – I just…I'm doing this for the munny," Sora sputtered, trying to place into precise words the odd sequence of events that led him to this moment.

Axel and the others just watched him and he felt besieged by their unwavering stares.

"No violence," Sora shook his head, "I'll sell your stuff, but I don't want to…I don't…" he struggled to break free from the confused thoughts that were being uttered aloud. "Nobody dies."

"Nobody dies," Axel repeated.

There was an uneasy silence. The others in robes shuffled and one of them lifted the hood from his head. His dirty blonde hair fell into his face, and his cyan eyes did not move from Sora's.

"This is Demyx," Axel introduced. "He's going to be showing you what to do. Do it quick, do it right, and you'll be compensated handsomely."

Demyx tossed a large plastic bag and Sora caught it, he peeked inside, holding it tightly to his chest. It was filled with a white powder. Sora remained rooted in place, mind urging him to move but matter refusing to do so. Demyx turned to look at him.

"What are you waiting for?" Axel's voice filtered into his head. "Go."

He moved towards the exit, Larxene following closely behind. He had just stepped out into open air when Axel called his name.

"Sora."

He turned his head and met Axel's gaze.

"Don't forget," Axel brought his hand to his mouth and twisted it, as if he were turning a key in a lock.

Larxene pulled the door shut.

* * *

Demyx took him around town with such speed that Sora could hardly keep up. There was a lot to sell off, apparently, because they cruised down empty streets and broken neighborhoods, passing through areas that Sora had never dared to enter before. Each time was the same, they entered some run-down apartment or a straight crack-house. Squalid dens of people, hollowed out and hardly capable of movement. Some unconscious, some splayed out against cracked floorboards and peeling walls. There was always someone there to receive them, to scoop white powder from Sora's bag and spread it around. There was always a sizable reward.

Demyx didn't say much, but he cracked an occasional joke or two with whoever they met up with. It was clear that this scene wasn't new to him, but somehow he seemed out of place, those who distributed their goods were certainly pleasantly surprised to see him. Sora figured that he would be doing this alone next time.

The night wore on and the weight of the bag decreased steadily. Soon it would be empty and he could go home. Already he had snagged a decent sum of munny. Sora checked his phone and was relieved to see that he had received no calls or texts. Roxas was used to it by now, thankfully.

When the bag had nearly emptied, they arrived at what Sora assumed to be their final destination. They had made the rounds, had come full circle, and were now not far from Brownsville itself. Sora was glad for this. The run down building they came to looked even worse than the rest, if that were possible. A dim light shone from the inside, but the rest was dark and the whole thing appeared shoddily constructed; like the thing was barely holding itself together.

They entered, this time there was no distributor to meet them. Cautiously, they stepped into the living room, and as expected there was a sizable collection of tenants. Sora stepped over them, disgusted by the sight. Demyx looked around, as if expecting something to pop out at them.

"Wait here," he said, holding out his arm. "I'm gonna look around."

Sora nodded and leaned lightly against a wall, hoping it wouldn't outright collapse under his weight. He gazed at the people around him. Thin and wrapped in worn clothing, many of them were sleeping, others stared vacantly at the world around them. It was a sorry sight to behold.

Someone gasped and Sora turned his attention to the center of the room. Someone was lying on the floor, a woman, he leaned forward, curiosity overtaking him. His eyes widened in shock and recognition.

It was his mother. Sora rushed from his spot and knelt down next to her. Her skin was sallow and her breathing shallow. He shook her.

"Mom? Mom?!" he shook her harder. Her eyes fluttered lazily, they were gaunt and empty.

Sora leaned down, his mouth next to her ear. " _Mom."_

She groaned in response, rolling over on her back but refusing to wake up. Sora sat down. He could hear the sound of Demyx's boots rattling the floor upstairs.

Sora looked at her, at the sweat that rolled down from her forehead. She didn't look well.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised," he mused. Sora reached out and gripped her shoulder. "Can you

 _(love)_

wake up?"

She murmured something in what was surely a drug-induced haze.

"What?" he whispered, moving his ear to her lips. "What did you say?"

"Just like your father," she murmured, turning her head from side to side, "rat bastard."

Sora pulled away and felt something sharp strike him deep in his chest. His mouth twitched involuntarily.

In a matter of moments her breathing had quickened, faster and faster, almost to the point of hyperventilation. Something was happening. Sora pulled out his cell phone. Something bad was happening. The sweat poured down from her face. All he had to do was call. Call someone, anyone, Roxas, an ambulance, anyone.

Sora flipped open his phone, his

 _(heart)_

brain moving into overdrive, he moved down his contacts list and selected Roxas, all the while his mother continued to pant, breathing heavily and loudly, dominating the quiet discourse between sound and silence.

His finger hovered over the call button, hesitating, waiting, for what? For what? She gasped, croaking, her fingernails scratching against the ground. And Sora continued to wait.

Time passed. Time flew. How much time? He didn't know. Then it was over. There was no more breathing. Silence settled over the room again. He didn't hear Demyx coming down the stairs, didn't hear him approach from behind. Sora only heard his voice, piercing the veil of consciousness.

"Did you know her?"

His answer was unequivocal.

"No."


	14. Monstrous Kingdom

Sora slipped into the darkness of his apartment, gently easing the door shut. He stood there, his heavy breathing filling the silence. He shook his head fervently, swaying from side to side; there was a rumbling discontent in his stomach. He entered the bathroom and without bothering to flick on the light switch, turned on the shower, stepping into the tub and allowing the hot water to run down his face, flattening his unruly hair. The steam quickly enveloped him and he stood rigidly in place, staring at the tiles on the wall and finding that his limbs would not move easily.

He did not think. He did not ponder. He did not reflect. Instead he rested his forehead against the wall, breathing in the wispy warm air, in, out, in, out. The darkness was all encompassing.

Minutes passed. Perhaps an hour. Sora did not move, his eyes remained tightly shut, waiting for the tension in his arms, legs, shoulders, chest, to leave him. Eventually it did.

He turned the shower off and collected his clothes, his jeans heavier with the weight of the munny stuffed carelessly into its pockets. Sora threw them on, caring not for comfort, but to simply leave the waking world, if only for a little while. He walked into his room and threw himself onto his mattress, burying his head deeply into his pillow.

Sleep came for him.

* * *

He awoke to the peculiar scent of bacon. Sora lifted himself from his bed, squinting as rays of sunlight hit his face. He took a breath and felt something akin to a cramp in response. He looked down, surprised to find a deep scar that marked his chest. Right above his heart. He took the munny from his pockets and stuffed them under the mattress.

Sora crossed to the bathroom and eyed himself in the mirror. It was a scar, alright. Somewhat faded but certainly prominent, as if he had been slashed by something sharp and powerful. He touched it and it prickled uncomfortably. He threw on a shirt and walked out into the hall, the smell of breakfast filling the air.

Sora was even more surprised to see Naminé, her back turned, working their tiny little stove with evident determination. He took a seat at the table and she looked over at him, her mouth turning up into a pleasant smile.

"Oh," she said, caught off guard by his sudden appearance, "I thought you were still sleeping."

Sora studied her face. Soft, warm, kind. No hint of judgement or repulsion. Was it to make him feel better? Did she not hold what he had done against him?

"Roxas went out to get some food," she informed, "he should be back soon."

Sora nodded, tapping his fingers against the table.

"Sorry," Naminé laughed nervously, handling the pan in her mitt covered hands with feminine grace, "I guess you didn't know I stayed the night."

"Fine by me," he shrugged. "What's up with you two, anyway?"

"We're together," she beamed, clearly glad to hear herself say it.

"That's great," he said.

His lack of enthusiasm did not go unnoticed. "Are you alright?" she asked.

Just then they heard the door click behind them, and Roxas came bounding in. He strolled into the kitchen, giving Naminé a peck on the cheek and ruffling his brother's hair. Clearly, he was in a good mood.

"Hey," he said to Sora, "when did you get home? I heard the shower going on for a while, wasn't sure if I was dreaming."

"Not too late," Sora replied. Roxas did not appear overly concerned with pressing the issue any further than that, for which he was glad. Roxas placed some groceries on the table and went to work filling their fridge. When he was done, he whiffed the air dramatically.

"That smells great," he said, sliding up behind Naminé and squeezing her thigh affectionately.

" _Roxas_ ," she gasped, blushing madly.

"What?" he murmured, leaning down to kiss the back of her neck.

The two of them dallied playfully and Sora looked away. He wasn't sure how much more he could watch. A tremendously nervous feeling was taking hold within him, a dire inevitably that could not be reversed.

Naminé could cook, that much he managed to gather. Eggs and bacon with some cranberry juice. Sora couldn't remember the last time he had gorged on such a filling breakfast. Strange enough, given that his stomach was always reaching out, always demanding he munch on more.

Eventually she had to go, after much fanfare and mock protests on Roxas' part. They kissed, their lips briefly touching and then pulling apart, both of their cheeks turning a rosy pink; the uncertain and ephemeral nature of young love in efflorescence. Sora felt a nostalgic pang in his heart.

He wanted to leave too. He knew what was coming, and any semblance of bravery within him was tamped down by the fear rising inside him. Roxas watched her descend the stairs, Sora heard him tell her to be careful, he listened to Roxas closing the door, turning back to him, asking him questions.

"Sora?" Roxas waved a hand in front of his face.

"Huh?" he looked up at his brother's curious eyes.

"I asked if you're ready to go."

"Go?" the question hung like feet over a pier.

"To school. Jeeze, you're really out of it this morning. Did you hit your head or something?"

It occurred to Sora just how much his brother didn't know.

There was a knock at the door. Sora froze, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. The scar on his chest burned.

"I'll get it," he heard Roxas say. Muffled, like it was coming from some other plane of existence. Sora did not move.

He heard Yen Sid's solemn tone, he heard Roxas, first angry, shrill, denying, then pleading. Some more hushed words were exchanged, and he heard the door slowly creak back to a close. Sora stood from his seat and faced his brother.

It was the longest silence that Sora had ever endured. It was also the loudest.

The tears had already welled up in Roxas's eyes, threatening a torrential spillover.

"S-She's…"

Sora took a step towards him. Just one step.

"Mom's…"

Sora wanted to look away so badly. So very badly. But he could not give himself up. Not here. Not ever.

"She's dea-"

Roxas choked on a sob and it was all over. The tears fell in waves, his sobs growing louder, painful, more desperate.

" _She's dead."_

Roxas collapsed in his arms, crying against his chest. Sora felt the wetness soaking into his shirt; he backed up and sat them on the couch, pulling Roxas into a tight hug.

"It's okay, it's okay," he soothed, rocking him back and forth like a baby, smoothing over his similarly spiky hair. They were twins, after all.

"It's going to be okay."

* * *

Sora dozed on the couch, not quite able to reclaim the mantle of slumber. His eyelids were heavy with exhaustion, his shoulders tightly wound. It was only the weight of the world. He could hear Roxas' distressed mumblings down the hall. The boy had cried himself to sleep.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he considered leaving it, but its insistent vibrations forced him to check. A message from Kairi. His heart leapt.

 _Where are you?_

He wasn't sure how to answer. They hadn't even called in sick. Less might be more. He typed back.

 _Home_

He waited the mandatory ten seconds and felt the buzz in response.

 _Everything okay?_

The question almost made him laugh. Almost. Was everything okay? Had anything ever been okay? He wondered if he should just tell the truth. His phone buzzed again.

 _Naminé wants to know where Roxas is._

Sora let out a frustrated breath, listening to Roxas make tortured sounds in his sleep. Nothing would settle. Not now. He didn't want to speak, but he had to. He dialed Kairi's number and waited.

"Hello?" she answered in a hushed whisper, "I'm in class."

"Sorry," Sora said tiredly, "but you should tell Naminé that Roxas isn't coming in today."

"What? Why?"

"Um…" he paused. How to put it?

"Our mom died."

It didn't take long for them to arrive. Sora was sitting on his window sill, his back against the wall, reveling in the cool wind that swam against his face. He heard the door to Roxas' room open, and footsteps come to a halt outside of his.

"Sora?" her soft and delicate voice called out to him. He shut his eyes.

"Sora?" Kairi called again, knocking on his door. When he didn't answer, she took the liberty of opening it herself. She moved across the room to him and Sora felt her hand touch his shoulder.

"Hey," she whispered. She was so close to him, her warm breath tickling his ear. Sora opened his eyes and looked at her.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know," he said, and that much, at least, was honest. "Overdose or something."

Kairi ran her hand up and down his shoulder. It was supposed to be a comforting gesture, but Sora could feel his emotions pulling on him, contorting his mouth as he struggled to keep them at bay.

She did something then, something she hadn't done since he'd been hurt. Wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a hug, Sora almost lost his balance from the unexpected move. He didn't realize he was crying until she pulled him down to her shoulder and he saw the droplets streaking down her shirt.

"Shhh," she hushed and now it was his turn to hear it. It was his turn to be spoon-fed lies.

"It's going to be okay."

* * *

Naminé didn't want to leave, proclaiming that she would not leave Roxas at this tumultuous hour. But the sun went down and the moon went up, and the invisible threat of their parents forced them to leave, Kairi giving him one long look before they walked out the door. To Sora, it looked as if she could see everything, every part of him. All of his fears. All of his lies.

He closed the door behind them and the apartment was overtaken by nothingness yet again. Roxas was sitting on the couch, his hands hung loosely between his legs and he stared ahead, his expression all at once conveying nothing and everything.

Sora felt uncomfortable. He was feeling a lot of that lately. He wanted to say something. Something that would fill this terrible quiet.

"They're gonna send people for us, you know."

Roxas slowly turned to him, expressionless.

"Social services or whatever. What did Yen tell the police?"

Roxas looked down at his hands. "Nothing. He covered for us, he knows we're good for it. We're fine."

"Oh," Sora rubbed the back of neck. "Okay."

Sora began to move towards his room when Roxas suddenly spoke. "I should have given her my bed."

"Huh?" Sora turned to him in confusion.

"When she came home that night. I left her on the couch…I should have…I should have – " his bottom lip trembled.

"Roxas," Sora said sternly, kneeling down in front of him and grabbing both of his shoulders, "it wasn't your fault." Roxas put his head in his hands. " _It wasn't."_

"We didn't help her," Roxas whispered brokenly, "I didn't help her."

"She didn't help us."

Roxas looked up at him angrily. "She _did_ help us. She raised us, she brought munny back, she…she…"

Sora held his hands up. "I'm not arguing with you, Roxas," he said softly.

Roxas heaved a heavy sigh and ran a hand over his face. "We're alone now," he said.

"No," Sora shook his head. "We've got each other. We'll always have that."

He left the room and went to bed.

* * *

It was as if he were passing through the Red Sea. The soot covered floor was the sand, the lockers, covered in an abundance of flyers, were the parted waves, and the boy surrounded by his gaggle of adoring fans was Moses himself, tending to his flock.

To Sora it seemed like he was traveling through some kind of teenage wasteland. Day in. Day out. An interminable sea of bobbing heads. Up. Down. Up. Down. Only now, he was more tired than ever. A weight was growing on him, perhaps just short of malaise, but it was there. He ripped the flyer from his locker and looked down at its crumpled form, gripped tightly in his hand.

 _ **Riku's Winter Ball**_

Sora chanced a glance over at Riku himself, still surrounded by enthralled faces and groping hands, reaching desperately for the papers in his hands, and he laughed and passed them out to a select few. Sora squinted. There was something off. Something wrong with his eyes. They betrayed the smooth expression that presently graced his features. It wasn't just the dark purple blotch under his right eye, though that may have certainly played a role. The smile on Riku's face did not match the dullness of his pupils.

Sora was torn from his thoughts by the red head that sidled up next to him. He turned to her, and Kairi looked down at the flyer in his hand inquisitively.

"They're everywhere," he noted.

"They are," she concurred. "Um…I understand if you haven't really thought about it, but…"

Sora looked into her eyes, those swirling pools of anticipation and anxiety. His heart pulsed in his throat and the scar on his chest prickled once more.

"I don't know," he said.

"Oh," Kairi turned away, and it was impossible for her to mask the disappointment in her voice. "Okay."

* * *

Sora had second thoughts about returning to the docks. The very idea of returning to those locales, to going out on his own, to handling such damning cargo, was one that filled him with ambivalence. In the end, he pushed those thoughts aside. They needed the munny, he told himself, they would need it soon enough.

This time it was just Demyx waiting for him. He pulled out another bag filled with white powder and handed it to him.

"You ready kid?" he asked. Sora hoped his reluctance was not apparent.

"Yeah," Sora nodded. He went off alone, following the same route as before, meeting with the same dealers, providing them with the same amounts, receiving the same munny. Everything by the books. No unnecessary risks. Every munny pouch that was placed in his hand propelled him forward. When Sora came to that final building he stopped, debating whether or not to enter. He came close, inching forward to the open doorway, a black square that offered no hints as to what lay inside. But Sora knew. It was forever on his shoulders.

He returned to the docks, ahead of schedule. Demyx counted his munny and when he was done and clicked his boots impatiently on the ground and stared hard at Sora.

"You're short."

"I know," Sora said, his eyes focused on the ground between them. "There was no one at the last place."

Demyx watched him, perhaps probing for weakness, a stutter, a slip of the tongue. But Sora spoke with as much conviction as he could muster, and the cloaked man relented.

"Alright," he said, handing Sora his share of the pouches. "Two days," he held up two fingers. Sora nodded and watched him slink off into the shadows between warehouses. He wondered briefly how he arrived here, what had even compelled him to this, then he looked at the munny in his hands and he felt content. Secure.

When he arrived back home he found Roxas sitting on the couch, staring ahead at where their television used to be.

"Roxas?" Sora called softly.

Roxas shifted his attention to him. "What's up?" he asked, giving a strange kind of lopsided smile.

"Um…" Sora looked around the room, searching for something to say. "You tell me."

"Naminé's coming over in a bit," Roxas informed. "We really need to get a new tee-vee."

"Yeah," Sora agreed. "Listen, I uh…I got a job."

Roxas perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah, down by Red Hook. Just some manual labor stuff."

"Oh," Roxas turned back to the television stand, "can you do that with your arm?"

Sora held out his splinted arm in front of him. "I think it's fine now, hardly hurts when I move it."

"That's good," Roxas said.

Dull eyes. Dull voice.

* * *

He was sitting in History. The lights were dimmed and a movie was playing. The room, aside from a few hushed whispers emanating from the backroom desks, was silent, enraptured by the documentary playing out in front of them.

" _They came for us in the night-"_

His gaze turned to the back of Riku's head, silver hair shimmering in the rays of light that just managed to squeeze through the shades. There was another circular mark on the back of his neck, peeking out above the cuff of his shirt. Half clouded thoughts of flying fists and bruised knuckles passed through his head. He thought back to Kairi, remembered what she had told him one fine afternoon. A word was materializing, solidifying into existence.

" _-they roused us from our beds. They wouldn't let us take anything. Our mother would sing to us as they took us to the station-"_

Abuse. Abuse. It rang and echoed in his head. Sora looked at the boy who he was certain he was being groomed to replace.

" _-there were a lot of people there. I turned to my mother and asked her where we were going. She looked at me and there were tears in her eyes. She told me we were going somewhere new-"_

Blazing red hair danced in the corner of his vision. He couldn't tear his eyes away from her, he didn't particularly want to.

" _-they put us all on the train. It was a very long ride-"_

She was the unknown quantity. The variable that popped in and out of his dreams. One summer ago he didn't know a thing about her. Didn't even know she existed. But there she was, sitting just a few seats ahead of him. She was his friend. She kissed him once, a mistake to be sure, but regardless.

" _-there were restless babies and anxious mothers sitting all around us. All the men had gone off to war-"_

Requests. There it was again. That sinking feeling. That malaise slithering up from the depths.

" _-we stopped outside of building. It was very wide. I didn't know where we were, but my mother looked very frightened-"_

Sora closed his eyes, resigned to the historical tides that forced him this way and that.

" _-the conductor turned to the guard and I heard him say 'Alright then, let's offload those stealthy Jews from their trains'."_

When class had ended Sora quickly caught up to Kairi, catching her by the arm and pulling her to the side of the hall.

"Sora?" she looked at him in surprise.

"I'll go," he said.

She looked at him, even more confused. "What?"

"The party, Riku's party. I'll go with you."

Her face broke into a smile and Sora was somewhat startled by the mixture of relief and happiness that flooded her expression.

"We're gonna have to go shopping," she reckoned.

"Shopping?"

"Of course," she said, tapping him on the chest, "we've gotta get you spruced up."


	15. Detour

Sora paced his apartment anxiously. Of the things he despised most of all, it was his nerves that gave him the most discomfort. He entered his room, peeked out the window at the cold and empty streets below, then shuffled back into the living room.

Kairi had given him the very barest of briefings, demanding that he be up and ready to depart at noon sharp, for what, he could only begin to guess. All he knew was that his heart was pounding, and she had yet to even knock on his front door.

Roxas was slouched at the kitchen table, quietly sipping at a can of sparkling water. The sound of his suckling rang out against the tension that Sora so keenly perceived.

"Can you stop?" he called to his brother. Roxas turned to him, his expression one devoid of concern and vague curiosity. He raised the can to his lips and took another sip.

Sora sighed and paced some more. He resolved to remain calm and flopped down onto the couch, staring ahead at the empty television stand. He reminded himself to buy a new one.

Three sharp and deliberate knocks sent his heart into another death spiral, but he took a breath and tried to rein in his debilitating case of nerves. It was only Kairi, after all.

He opened the door and was greeted with her sweet smiling face, one that curved into a devilish smirk when his eyes remained on hers for just a moment too long.

"Are you ready?" she asked, clearly amused.

Sora shook himself out of his daze. "U-Uh, yeah, let me just…get my shoes."

Kairi nodded and leaned against the door, she looked over at Roxas.

"Hey Roxas," she said softly. Roxas gave her a small smile (first one Sora had seen him make since the incident) and nodded to her.

"How are you doing?" she asked him.

Roxas shrugged. "I'm fine."

"Naminé wants to see you," Kairi informed.

"Yeah…yeah, I should call her," Roxas said, more to himself than anyone else.

There was an awkward silence and Kairi struggled to find something to say. Sora figured that this was his moment to intervene.

"Let's go," he said, leaving the apartment and pointedly shutting the door. Kairi looked at him oddly.

"What was that?" she questioned as they descended the staircase to the front doors.

"Nothing," Sora shook his head, "he's just…taking everything kinda hard."

"How are _you_ feeling?" Kairi asked him, and Sora made sure to fix his eyes straight ahead, lest he fall into her deep and discerning gaze.

"I'm fine," he answered. His tone was direct and (he hoped) unambiguous. They left the building and stood on the sidewalk, it was certainly cold out.

"So…what are we doing, exactly?" he asked, twisting around dramatically.

"I told you," Kairi said, giving him a look, "we're going shopping."

"Okay…where exactly are we going to do that?"

"You'll see. You brought munny, right?"

"Yeah, of course. But-"

Kairi rested her hand on her hip and raised the other one and waved. Sora watched her in confusion, until something screeched to halt on the street beside them. A black shiny limo. Sora blinked.

"Um…"

"What? Never been in a limo?"

Sora could only shake his head and his cheeks reddened when Kairi took him by the hand and pulled him towards it.

"Well," she said, "now's your chance."

They entered the spacious luxury vehicle and Kairi issued some directives to the driver. They were on their way in a matter of moments. Sora could only study his surroundings in a cloud of awe and for the first time that day, he felt himself relaxing. He heard Kairi giggle and he turned to face her.

"You look like you just woke up on another world," she noted.

"Maybe I did," Sora admitted. He was only half joking.

Sora's amazement continued to grow as they drove up and over the Brooklyn Bridge. The East River sparkled magnificently below and he found he spent a lot of the time with his nose pressed against the window, watching the borough of Brooklyn fade away behind him.

"You've been to the city, right?" Kairi asked. Sora looked at her and shook his head, somewhat shamefully.

She looked at him in disbelief. "Seriously?"

Sora rubbed the back of his neck. "Never really had an excuse to go," he said.

Kairi crinkled her nose and the only thing Sora could think of was how damn cute she looked.

"Well, I'm glad I get to be here for your first time."

"Yeah," he agreed, leaning back into the seat. "So…you never explained why you asked me to this thing in the first place," he pointed out.

"You never explained why you agreed," Kairi shot back, grinning and wiggling a finger in his face.

Sora chuckled. "What? Can't find a date so you decided to settle for me?"

He meant it as a joke, but he took quick note of how sullen she suddenly looked. The relaxed atmosphere quickly turned heavier and Sora cursed himself. It was always the jokes. Perhaps it was time to hang up the self-deprecating humor.

"I'm kidding," he attempted to reassure her.

Kairi shot him a fixed glare. "Do you always have to do that?"

Sora sunk further back into black leather of the limo seat. "Okay, okay," he waved dismissively, "are you gonna share or what?"

Kairi sighed and chewed on the inside of her lip. "I just…"

Sora watched the internal battle that seemed to be raging within her play out on her face. "You just...?"

The limo came to a halt before she could answer and Sora peered out the window. They were in the city. _He_ was in the city. He, the very small, had been granted an audience with it, the very big. Sora felt his shoulders tense up.

"Come on," Kairi said, grabbing his hand again and leading him out of the limo and onto the sidewalk. The luxury vehicle sped away, leaving behind a trail of smoke and a stupefied Sora.

"That's…coming back for us, right?" he questioned.

"Of course," Kairi said, rolling her eyes playfully. "C'mon."

They walked the streets. To Sora, it was an incomprehensible labyrinth of winding concrete pathways, weaving in and out, up and down, sideways and back. Living the low life back home couldn't prepare one for this, he thought to himself. The numbers simply grew, more people, more buildings that rose up against the sky, more cars, more sounds, and absolutely no silence. It was a microcosm of the whole of human achievement and Sora, contrary to what every physical sensation he was feeling told him, felt like he was walking on open air.

They stopped outside of a Macy's. The name emblazoned in the large red sign attached to the building for all the world to see. Kairi moved towards the entrance but Sora remained rooted in place.

She turned back to look at him. "You coming?"

"I...yeah," he rubbed his neck and followed her in. The first thing that hit him was the smell. It was something he may have once had some vague notion of, but the aroma that swelled in his nose brought it to the forefront of his mind. Fresh. Clean.

They stepped onto the escalator and stood next to each other as it ascended. Sora stuck his hands in his pockets, feeling particularly exposed.

"So…you going to answer my question?" he asked her.

"And what question might that be?" she responded.

"You sure do love games, huh?" he noted.

"Whatever could you mean?" she asked innocently, stepping off the escalator.

Sora smirked and trailed behind her. Kairi stopped to ogle a dress, she took it off the hangar and held it out to him.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"It's nice," he shrugged.

Kairi narrowed her eyes. "You don't know a thing about clothes."

"Do I look like someone who does?"

"Well…" she rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "that's why we're here."

Kairi put the dress back on the hangar and they continued on. Passing through rows and rows of dresses, pants, shoes, hats, footwear, anything and everything. If it existed, it was there. Sora could honestly say that he had never seen so many clothes per square foot.

"Do you come here a lot?" he asked, running his hand over some fuzzy sweaters.

"Sometimes," Kairi said, "only for the big parties, really."

"And you go to those often…the big parties?"

"Well…" Kairi stopped walking, "they don't come around very often."

Sora mulled her words as she examined some blouses on a rack. "So…Riku's party, it's big then?"

"Well, yeah," she said, smoothing out a crinkled blouse and then placing it back on the rack. "It's a once a year thing. Haven't you heard of it?"

Sora wished he could say he had, but this was the first year he had noticed the abundance of promotional material and attention people in Brooklyn High afforded it. In all years past, he had never heard of such a thing as Riku's winter ball, but then again he couldn't quite remember if he had paid much attention, which meant he probably didn't.

"No," he said, trying to conceal the odd feeling of shame within him. "Should I have?"

"It's a pretty big deal," Kairi commented, "but I wouldn't let it bother you."

"Yeah, well…why does he have to call it a ball?" Sora asked.

"It sounds nicer," Kairi shrugged, "I don't know."

Together they moved through the seemingly unending valley of clothes and Sora was slightly relieved to find that they were in the somewhat familiar terrain of men's clothing. Kairi contemplated the button-up shirts, hung proudly on display.

"I think you'd look good in these," she nodded, fingering the buttons on one of the shirts.

"I honestly couldn't tell you," Sora said, shaking his head.

They moved through the maze of clothes and came to a row of, to Sora's untrained eye, what appeared to be an assortment of fashionable looking party dresses. She eyed the collection and seemed to settle on a scarlet dress, pulling it down and holding it out in front of her. She looked to Sora expectantly.

"Don't look at me," he held up his hands. "I don't know anything, remember?"

"That's why you have to learn," she said, and she grabbed and pulled him into the neighboring dressing room.

It was small and dark. With a single narrow mirror attached to the wall. Kairi closed the door behind them. Sora felt his pulse begin to race and he stared at Kairi with wide eyes.

"What are you doing?"

Kairi leaned against the door. "Teaching you," she said. She gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Sora's eyes bulged and he whirled around, facing the mirror and shutting his eyes tight.

He heard Kairi laugh softly. "You don't have to do that," she said.

Sora kept his eyes shut and remained still. In here, the sounds of the world outside died away. It was just the two of them now. Alone.

Kairi took a step forward and took his hand in her own. She leaned into him and he felt her chest pressing up against his back.

"Do you trust me?" she whispered into his ear.

He shivered and nodded, slowly. "Yes."

"I trust you," she murmured. "Turn around."

Sora did so, keeping his gaze trained firmly on her face, blushing deeply. Kairi held his gaze with her violet eyes and placed his hand on the small of her back. He almost gasped in surprise, but his surprise turned to confusion when he felt and traced the bumpy lines that ran up and down her warm skin.

"What-"

"You want to know why I invited you. This is why," she said, her voice lacking clear emotion. Sora wasn't even aware of how close they were, focused entirely on feeling the indentations and raised skin.

"I need to go with you," she let out a shaky breath, "because if I go with anyone else, this will happen again."

"I don't understand," Sora said. "What happened to you?"

"Please," she whispered, and her eyes glimmered in the darkness, "don't ask questions. Just come to the party with me."

"I…I said I would," Sora said, anxiousness creeping into his voice. Too close. They were too close. He removed his hand from her back and stepped back.

Kairi sniffled and put her shirt back on. "Now get out so I can try on this dress," she joked, trying to return to her earlier cheerfulness. Sora nodded, flashing her a quick and awkward smile and left the room. He waited for her to finish, the memory of her lacerated skin stuck to his fingers. He wanted to question, he wanted to question so badly.

Someone had done that to her, and she was inviting him to this party because she was afraid. He thought back, wondering if he had ever seen Kairi truly afraid. Nervous, maybe. But afraid? He didn't think so.

Someone had hurt her. Someone had damaged her. Bruised her. Abused her.

Kairi came out, scarlet dress neatly folded in her hands. She seemed smaller, somehow. She smiled shyly at him and he managed one back. It occurred to them both that they had just shared in some private moment. Something that only they were privy to. A shared memory.

They had made a lot of those.

They walked back towards the men's clothes and Sora moved closer to her, their arms almost touching. Abuse. Abuse. The word blinked on and off in his head.

Kairi took one of the button up shirts from the rack and handed it to him. "Do you want to try one?"

He looked down at the wrinkled shirt in his hand and shook his head. "If it fits, it's fine."

She looked at him oddly and chuckled. "Anyone ever tell you you're funny?" she asked.

"They used to," he said honestly.

Kairi shook her head in faux exasperation. "What are we going to do with you?"

Sora lowered his head sheepishly. Abuse. Abuse. Kairi pulled a pair of jeans from a pile and handed it to him.

"That's your size, right?" she asked.

"I think so," he said, examining the label.

Kairi moved towards the escalator and he followed. They descended and went to the register, paying for their items and each receiving a bag in turn. They exited the store and Sora felt just a bit emptier; felt like he'd just willingly surrendered something important to him. They stood on the edge of the sidewalks, taking in the midday city air.

"So you've never been to the city," she commented, turning her head to look at him.

Sora shook his head. "Never."

"So you've never been to Central Park."

"Can't say that I have."

Kairi grinned mischievously. "Great," she said, grabbing his hand for the umpteenth time that day and pulling him along with her down the street. Sora gave up any pretense of resistance and allowed her to lead him through the city, feeling the wind in his spiky hair and the ground beneath his feet. Feeling the world was at his fingertips, feeling that he was part of the world. At last. At long last.

They came to the entrance of what he could only assume was Central Park. Trees with the last of their bushy leaves that plumed outwards obstructed the sun, breaking its monopoly on the city and allowing only for the occasional ray of sunlight to strike the dim grass. Kairi entered the park and Sora followed her. Suddenly the urban jungle transformed into a bucolic preserve. They strolled down the path, basking in the shade and enjoying the comfortable quiet between them.

They stopped by a big pond, taking off their shoes and sitting down in the grass. Sora picked a pebble from the grass and flung it into the water, studying the tiny splash and resultant ripples.

"So, what do you think?" Kairi asked him, breaking the silence.

"It's beautiful," Sora marveled without hesitation. And by God, did he mean it.

"I thought you might like it," Kairi said, trying to wiggle her toes in between blades of grass.

"Yeah…I don't think I've seen something like this since…"

Kairi looked at him curiously. "Since what?"

Sora turned away and stared at the pond. Somewhere a bird called out.

He waffled. "Can I ask you something?"

Kairi was silent for a moment, perhaps fearing the worst. "Okay…"

"You've seen those bruises on Riku, right?"

He heard her take a sharp intake of breath. "What about them?"

"You said it was his…parents?"

Kairi seemed to become more uncomfortable. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Does that happen to him often?" Sora asked.

"I don't know," Kairi sighed. "Do you really want to talk about this?"

"I don't know," Sora conceded, "I'm just curious, I guess."

"Listen," she said, "it's probably not a good idea to go around asking things like that."

"Who's listening?" he joked, turning his head from side to side.

"Nobody. It's just…if it got out…"

"How does he even explain it?"

"Usually he just says he got in fights," Kairi explained. "Nobody questions it."

"Uh huh…" Sora laid back in the grass, resting his head on his arms and staring up at the sky. The breeze was not so cold and the puffy clouds drifted along steadily. It was all so dreamy. So unreal. Like everything that had come before never happened, like he was always in that moment and always would be. Oh, how he wished he could be.

He listened to Kairi shuffle in the grass to his side. "Huh…"

"What?" he looked over at her.

"Didn't know these grew here," she said, picking a pink rose from the ground. She held it above his head. "What do you think?"

"Looks nice," he said, closing his eyes and enjoying the mixture of sunlight and cold air.

"Here," she said, pulling his hand from under his head and placing it in his hand, "it's yours now."

Sora held it to his face, the petals tickling his forehead. "It'll die."

Kairi shook her head. "Just put it in a vase and leave it by your window. The cold air will keep it alive."

Sora studied the rose. Pretty. The perfect flower.

He turned to Kairi. "Thanks," he said.

She smiled at him and they stayed that way, looking at each other, neither daring to break contact before the other. Suddenly Kairi's phone beeped. She pulled it out of her pocket and checked it.

"Oh, we need to get back to the car."

"'The car,'" Sora mimed. Kairi slapped him on the shoulder. "Shut up," she giggled.

They gathered their bags and backtracked to the limo. Amazingly, the streets seemed to become even more crowded. More people. More cars. Rush hour approached.

They entered the limo and were on their way. Crossing through the city towards Brooklyn and Sora felt his eyelids growing heavy. They had done a lot of walking. Maybe more than he had done up to that point. Either way, he was glad to have done it.

They crossed over the Brooklyn Bridge and Sora watched the blazing orange sun lowering itself over the East River. He didn't feel anxious. He felt good.

The limo stopped outside of his apartment and he faced Kairi. Neither of them said anything.

"Thanks…for today," Sora spoke, trying his best to express his appreciation.

Kairi simply smiled and nodded. "It was my pleasure."

"Next time I'll take you out," he offered.

"You'll have your chance," she said. He knew what she meant.

"Right," he said, opening the door and stepping out onto the sidewalk.

"See you," he waved.

"Bye," she gave a little wave back. He shut the door and watched her pull away. The limo rolled down the street and turned a corner. Gone.

Sora hurried into the building and looked down at the rose laid out in his palm. He had to make sure it didn't die.

Now they would live.


	16. Winter

The first snowfall of the season had begun. One flake, two, then a torrent, gliding gracefully downwards from the blanket of thick white clouds above. Sora followed them with his eyes, gazing out the window at the slow gathering sheet of white that blanketed the street.

"Sora?"

Pulled from his reverie, he turned his attention to Aerith.

"It's good to have you back. I feel like we haven't really had a chance to talk since…"

"Yeah," Sora muttered, staring at his feet.

"I was very sorry to hear what happened."

"Yeah."

"It's hard…when a child loses a parent."

"Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly."

"Okay. That's fine…is there anything you do want to discuss?"

Sora straightened his posture and breathed in deeply. "Not really."

Aerith looked on intently, her stare direct and unwavering. Sora felt like he was being interrogated.

Finally, she relented. "If you ever feel like you need to talk please don't hesitate to come see me."

"Got it," he said, and left the office.

* * *

"I'm going out," he called, pulling on his jacket and tightening the hood around his head. Sora waited at the door for a response. None was forthcoming.

"Okay then," he murmured to himself, letting himself out of his apartment and descending to the streets below. The load had lessened, the volley of snow becoming a light shower of flurries; the thin accumulation crunched beneath his sneakers as he pushed himself through the neighborhood.

He arrived at the docks in short order. Demyx was waiting, as he always did. This time he had a guest.

"Ah, Sora," Axel's lips broke into a wide smile. "Snow give you trouble?"

"No, I'm fine," Sora replied. "What do you got for me?"

"Nothing," he said, shooting a hard glance at Demyx. "There was a little trouble with the shipment today."

"Trouble?"

"Don't you worry about it," Axel took a pouch of munny from his pocket and tossed it to him. "For your troubles. We'll be on schedule next week. Got it memorized?"

"Um…" Sora scratched his head. "Okay."

He stood there, unsure of what to do, the words that had just been spoken irking him for some unfathomable reason. Axel looked at him strangely.

"You alright there kid?"

"Uh, yeah," he said, turning around to leave. He stuck the munny in his coat pocket and trudged back the way he came.

Sora opened the door to his apartment and was met with the sounds of sniffling. He strained his ears and listened. He didn't have to. Roxas's door burst open and he stumbled out, leaning against the wall and righting himself before continuing into the living room. He was pale and sweat glistened on his forehead.

"Whaddaya doing home?" he grumbled. Sora stared.

"Are you alright?" Sora asked, reaching out to feel his forehead.

Roxas pulled back. "'m fine."

"You don't look fine," Sora said pointedly. "Are you sick?"

"I said I'm _fine_ ," Roxas repeated. He moved towards the door.

Sora stepped in his way. "Where are you going?"

"Out," he said, pushing past Sora and leaving the apartment.

Sora watched him go, and he was reminded of earlier, not better, times.

* * *

The night had come. The night of the party, or ball, whatever. Sora shook his head as he buttoned up his shirt, dusted off his black jeans, which were kind of tight, now that he was wearing them. His eyes caught the scar on his chest; it had grown more noticeable, the white line that stretched over his heart brighter and deeper. He fixed the last button and checked himself in the mirror, making sure his hair was in order (as much as it could be anyway) and willed the familiar nerves to disappear.

It was crazy. The whole idea, the very notion that he was about to attend a party, first of all, even worse when the name of its host blared in his brain. He must have been insane to agree to this. He glanced at the vase placed carefully on his window sill, the pink rose leaning out into open air. She had asked of him, and he had answered.

His phone buzzed and he pulled it out.

 _Be there in 5._

Five. Five was doable. Just enough time to gather himself up and pretend to be calm. Pretending was the easiest thing in the world. He figured he'd be doing a lot of that tonight.

Five minutes felt more like five seconds, because she was knocking on his door not long after that and he steeled himself for what was sure to be a series of very unfortunate events.

When he opened the door his breath caught in his throat and he felt he couldn't move, lest he disturb the heavenly sight that stood before him. Kairi, her hair _(was it auburn now?)_ flowing down in perfect synchronicity and coming to rest on her shoulders, her lips a rosy red (he could almost taste the cherry lipstick), and a light blue mascara that just managed to accentuate her almond shaped eyes. Her beautiful scarlet dress traced her body and clung to her curves. That winning smile, her perfect, shining white teeth on full display, with just a touch of blush marking her cheeks. He felt so very conscious of his own lackluster appearance.

"Hey," she greeted, "looking sharp."

"I could say the same of you."

"Shall we?" she asked, reaching for his hand and lacing her fingers through his.

So that's how she was going to play it. "By all means," he gestured towards the stairs and together they entered her now familiar limousine. This time there would be no shortage of conversation, as the worries that pressed on Sora's mind began to spill forth.

"So this is big, right? You said it's a big party."

"Yeah," Kairi nodded, giving him a curious look. "Why?"

"Just wondering," Sora shook his head and stared out the window. "Everyone there…they're all people from school?"

"Yes," she confirmed. There was a heavy silence.

Sora struggled with himself for a moment, but was unable to resist. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Maybe cause I'm going to the party of the guy who broke my arm in front of the entire school?" he said, fidgeting in his seat.

Kairi sighed and rested a hand on his arm. "Just try to relax, okay?"

"Oh," Sora laughed, "that's easy for you to say. He obviously wouldn't want me there, so why is this even happening right now?"

"Sora," Kairi put her hands on his cheeks and turned his head to her, "you said you trusted me, remember?"

Sora nodded weakly.

"So trust me."

Sora leaned back in his seat. There was no other choice.

When they pulled into Carroll Gardens and began cruised down the street, Sora could only watch with a sort of detached interest as houses, actual houses, began to pass them by. Big, white, they all looked so similar, yet it was something entirely unlike what he had seen before. The only comparable point of reference was his excursion to Kairi's house, but that had been months ago, and now old feelings were flooding back. He was finding that there were more and more cars parked on either side of the street, there was a booming in the distance that was steadily closing in.

The limo drifted to the right and at the end of the street, facing him, was the largest home Sora had ever laid eyes upon.

"Is that-?"

"Yep."

If Kairi's house was a mansion, then Riku's was a palace. The thing looked so very similar to a living, breathing castle that Sora had to do a double take to insure that what he was seeing was indeed right in front of him. Big windows and gleaming white and blue spires that stretched into sky, water fountains and a garden presented the front entrance with the aura of class and respectability. Sora understood at that very moment that he was way out of his element.

The limo rolled on through the gated entrance and parked in front of the marble steps which led up to the huge double doors that presumably marked the official entry point into Riku's castle.

"Kairi, I don't know about-"

"It's fine, Sora," she interrupted. "Come on."

He exited the limo, somewhat reluctantly and stared up at the magnificent spectacle; the party that was raging inside may as well have been occurring outside, for the excited chatter and laughter and music radiated out and touched the low-hanging Brooklyn skyline with its own sickening beat.

Sickening indeed. Sora felt like he might throw up, but Kairi pulled him along, as she so often did, and he climbed the marble steps, feeling not like a knight about to hold court with the king, but like a lowly peasant, praying to the merciful Lord that his head would not be removed from his shoulders.

Kairi pushed open the doors without even bothering to knock and Sora followed her inside. As he stepped across the threshold he felt a sudden feeling of familiarity course through him and the scar on his chest pounded so hard he was almost forced to stop, but it passed as quickly as it appeared and he found himself inside.

The sounds and smells and sights overwhelmed him almost immediately. A sensory smorgasbord, every possible input receiving every possible stimulus all at once. There were easily a hundred people that filled the great hall, long tables with all sorts of food lined the room, smaller and rounder tables for people to sit and talk dotted the crowded landscape, there was an enormous fireplace that lit the room and chandeliers that hung over them. The sea of people did not stop there, but continued on into other rooms and even up the velvet carpeted staircase.

They inched forward, Sora following Kairi closely as they pushed through the masses of people. Nobody seemed to pay much attention to him, but a few people called out to Kairi and she responded in kind. He kept his head down.

They reached a table whose seats were only, miraculously, half filled. At the table sat Selphie and the blue haired girl he had seen around, but whose name escaped him.

Kairi took a seat next to Selphie and Sora made sure to sit next to her, doing his very best to avoid eye contact. Kairi, for her part, seemed unperturbed.

The two girls were quiet for a moment and Sora knew they were looking at him, feeling the pressure and understanding there was to be no backing down if he was going to survive the night, he lifted his head and faced them.

"Sora, you know Selphie," Kairi introduced. "And this is Aqua," she gestured towards the girl with blue hair.

He did his best to smile at them and Aqua gave him a real bright one in return. Selphie merely lifted her chin and looked away.

"Hi," he said, his voice coming out surprisingly stronger than intended.

The girls got to talking and Sora listened, content to simply sit and let the party play out around him. Not so bad, if he could just do this for the rest of the night. Hardly anyone had noticed he was there. The world was too big and he was too small. He let his eyes roam the lavish room, hardly able to comprehend that he was even _there_. Riku's winter ball.

He felt his chest tighten and an unfamiliar emotion swept through him. Something about this was all wrong. All so very wrong. Yet he could not pinpoint the source of this imbalance and all he could do was clench his fist and feel the sweat trickle down the nape of his neck. He had been caught in houses before, locked away in places he had no business being in, but this was something else.

Sora felt someone tapping his shoulder and he turned to the girls, who were looking at him with expectant and curious eyes.

"Huh?"

"Aqua wanted to how your arm was doing," Kairi relayed. Her expression gave no indication that she wished for him to answer one way or another. He was on his own.

"Oh," he said, and he felt a disappointment at the question. Was that all he was remembered for? "It's fine," he lifted his elbow up and down, "no harm done."

"Good," Aqua smiled at him again. Either she was very friendly, or she was just making fun of him. Sora settled on the likeliest possibility. He supposed it was better than not being remembered at all.

"So did Kairi ask you to come here?" Selphie inquired. Sora's eyes widened. He looked to Kairi.

"Yes, I did," she said smoothly. The table was quiet and nothing more was said.

Suddenly the lights went out and the fireplace cooled, replaced instead by neon lights that flashed wildly across the room and the steady hum of the prior music was supplanted by a more frenetic beat. People began to get up and join those already dancing and the room finally became a party. A real party. The kind of party that Sora envisioned, the kind one would find at nightly block parties or drunken nighttime raves in an apartment complex. Past and present, the ideal and the real, together they melded here on the floor of a grand castle by the riverfront.

"Let's dance!" Selphie cheered and grabbed Kairi by the arm, dragging her into the crowd of swaying bodies. Sora watched her go. He turned to Aqua and their eyes locked for a brief moment before she too was lost.

Sora wondered where Riku was. Somewhere in this vast and terrible conundrum that Sora had found himself inexplicably attached to was the man of the hour. Yet he was nowhere to be seen. Not for the little people to see, he supposed.

"Having fun?" a voice called to him over the noise. Tidus took a seat next to Sora and smirked at him.

"About as much as you'd expect," Sora answered bluntly, if not honestly.

"Yeah, the party scene is not really my thing. Or ball, whatever," Tidus shrugged.

Sora looked at him disbelievingly. "Seriously?"

Tidus did a double take. "What?"

"You're here, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but something tells me we might be here for the same reasons."

"Oh yeah?" Sora grabbed a glass of water and took a sip. "How's that?"

The music rose in pitch and the people threw their hands up and screamed in delight.

"You and me are gunning for the same guy."

"What guy?"

Bodies rocked against each other, etiquette discarded in the throes of passion.

"Who do you think?"

Sora was silent, refusing to meet his eyes.

Heat. The boys hugged their girls and the girls wrapped their arms around their boys. Hands fumbled in the dark.

"You let _Kairi_ drag you to this thing, huh? How much do you even know about her, anyway?"

Sora turned his head and looked Tidus in the eye. "What do you want from me, Tidus?"

"I need you," Tidus said, "and you need me."

Red hair bounced gleefully in the simmering vortex of humanity.

"And why would I need you?" Sora asked. It was almost too funny.

"That's why," Tidus pointed into the crowd and Sora saw him, Riku, descending the stairs as if he were truly a king come to grace his subjects with his presence. Sora felt it again. That feeling that something was wrong. That this was all so

 _(unfair)_

wrong. There was no hint of the bruises that marked his body at school. Riku, in all of his glory, actualizing the very potential of his being. Here he was dominant.

"Grinds you too, doesn't it?" Tidus noted.

Sora said nothing, watching as Riku thrust himself into the crowd of dancing teens and they parted willingly for him, just as they did in school. Just as they did everywhere.

"They want him gone, you know."

Sora swiveled to Tidus. "Who?"

"You know who."

Riku approached Kairi and grey eyes met violet, she smiled at him and they began to dance, the people around them cheering them on and moving to the groove of the beat.

"There's nothing I can do," Sora said, his eyes downcast.

"There is," Tidus insisted. "You can help me do it."

Sora gave him an incredulous look and downed some more water. "I can't do that."

Tidus leaned back in his chair and watched the partygoers on the floor, tapping his foot to the music. "Then you wouldn't have come, if you really believed that," he stated grimly.

Riku took Kairi's hands in his own and spun her around. Sora could see, even from a distance, how her cheeks flushed and her chest heaved. Was she happy? Was she enjoying this? What was the point of all this? He felt his fingers clench around his glass.

"You know it's the right thing," Tidus said, and his voice seemed to float above all the noise, tailor made for Sora's ears only. "We both benefit."

Sora said nothing. Why did she look so happy? Why was she at _goddamned ease?_

"Fine," he heard himself speak at last. Tidus gave him a surprised look, but a content smile soon spread across his face.

"What's your number?" Tidus asked, pulling out his phone. They exchanged numbers and Tidus stood and patted him on the shoulder.

"Don't let it get you down, buddy," he said, looking to Riku and Kairi's majestic movements. He stalked off into the crowd and Sora was left seated, feeling somewhat dazed and ill at the exchange that had just occurred. He shook himself from his thoughts and pushed his way onto the floor, working his way through the tightness of the crowd and ascending the staircase. He was there, may as well make the most of it. There may never be another chance to explore such a fine place.

The dazzling sight that greets any casual passerby on the outside and the opulence of Riku's grand hall faded into a mundane retread the further he traveled. Big halls, many doors, expensive ornaments and the like. The occasional human being that loitered about or the couple left to carry out their hormone fueled affair in the shadows. In a way, it was more like those apartment parties and street festivals than Sora had given it credit for.

He wandered into one particular bedroom that was surprisingly messy, given the impeccable state of the rest of the house, with clothes strewn about the room and over the bed. Sora didn't even want to know what had taken place here. He walked over to a pair of sliding glass doors and stepped out onto a balcony. Below, the East River calmly lapped at the shore. He felt at ease.

Sora wasn't sure how long he stood there, staring out across the expanse of the river at the city skyline. It was different now. He had been to that shining city. He had walked its streets. And it was all because of her. All because of-

He looked back at the room. Something was making noise. Cautiously, he stepped back from the balcony and into the room, taking another look at the clothes tossed carelessly onto the floor. thump thump. It was coming from the closet. thump thump. He approached and put his hand on the knob. The door rattled, something was being forced against it. He pulled open the door and a blur of humanity spilled out onto the floor. Sora jumped back and saw the familiar blue hair spread across the floor.

Aqua. And there was someone on top of her, struggling with her, he looked up, narrowing his golden eyes in confusion and anger. Sora's eyes caught Aqua's and he saw the pools of tears gathering in their corners and the wetness on her cheeks and the red rings marking her wrist and he understood instantly.

He grabbed the boy by his black spiky hair and dragged him off the girl. He tumbled to the floor and Aqua shot up, her hand clasped over her mouth.

"Sora, wait-!"

The black haired boy growled and stood. His height matched Sora's and they stood even.

"Vanitas, please, stop-"

"You know this jerk-off?" Vanitas growled, stepping towards Sora.

"H-He's Kairi's friend, just – just…"

Vanitas was so close that their noses were almost touching. Sora did not back away, did not flinch. All he saw was this boy, and all he could think was how much he wanted to see him erased from existence.

Vanitas breathed heavily, his face was red and Sora watched a trickle of sweat roll down his temple. Finally, he broke eye contact and looked over Sora's shoulder at Aqua. He smirked and jabbed a finger into Sora's chest.

"You better watch it, kid," he said, and sauntered off. Sora watched after him, unable to move. The anger he had tried so hard to tamp down building to unimaginable heights. It was one thing after another. Mistake, he thought through the red haze that was filtering into his every thought. This whole night was a mistake.

"Sora," he heard a voice behind him, and he felt a hand grab his. Soft. It reminded him of-

"You're shaking," Aqua noted. Sora looked down and saw that his hands were, indeed, shaking. He shook his head and pulled his hand from hers.

"What was that?" he asked, rubbing the back of his neck and sitting down on the bed. He felt like he had just run a marathon.

"It was nothing," Aqua said dismissively, looking away and rubbing her wrist.

"Didn't look like nothing," Sora said. Aqua squirmed uncomfortably.

"It was nothing," she repeated. Sora was getting tired of repetition.

"Does that happen often around here?" he asked, unable to keep the harsh edge from entering his voice.

Aqua looked at him sadly. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Yeah, I know," he said, nodding furiously, "I don't know a _damn_ thing about _anything_ that goes on around here," he stood in front of her and she flinched away from his hard gaze. "I don't know anything about any of this. This fucking house and this fucking party and all of you people. I don't even know why I'm _here_ ," he kicked the wall angrily and dented it.

Aqua watched him warily and Sora turned away, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Why are you so sad?" she asked.

Sora looked up at her, startled. "What?"

"I see you all the time," she continued, "in school. I just…you always look so sad. I always wanted to ask you-" she stopped.

Sora said nothing. He sat on the bed again.

"Whatever," he sighed, staring down at the floor, "just…whatever."

Aqua stood still for several long moments and Sora thought she would never leave, until he heard her footsteps move towards the door. A thought suddenly crossed Sora's mind and his head shot up.

"Who hurt Kairi?" he asked.

Aqua stopped short, but didn't turn around. "Who do you think?"

She left and Sora was left alone. The sounds of the party downstairs may as well have been across the East River, for there was nothing there but the stillness of the night and the faint glow of the bedside lamp.

"You're welcome," he murmured.

* * *

Sora dozed, splayed out on the bed, head nestled comfortably on the pillow. Nobody intruded. He drifted in and out of sleep, lifted from his physical body and then set back down again, listening to the vibrations the music downstairs made on the hardwood floor and cabinets of the bedroom.

It had been so long, and the sounds so familiar that they no longer registered, that he did not hear her approaching the room until she was already leaning against the doorframe.

"Sorrrraaa," Kairi whined, "I've been looking _everywhere_ for you."

Sora sat up and looked at her, drinking in her appearance. Her hair was mussed and her mascara was smudged. Her dress seemed a bit wrinkled.

"Kairi?" he asked, perhaps stupidly.

She stumbled over to him, almost tripping over herself in the process and fell back onto the bed, giggling madly to herself.

"Are you alright?" he questioned, waving a hand in front of her face.

"I'm _perfect_ ," she slurred, "more perfect than I ever was."

"Uh huh," he hummed, lifting her by the shoulders so that she was sitting up. Kairi looked at him through half lidded eyes and stroked his cheek.

"You're so cute Sora," she remarked. The smell of alcohol filled his nose and he knew quite well what was occurring.

"You're drunk," he observed. Kairi giggled again.

" _You're_ drunk," she slapped his shoulder.

"Okay," he chuckled. "What time are we supposed to leave?" he asked.

"Leave?" she asked, and she seemed genuinely confused, " _why_ would we ever leave?"

"I think we have to go home eventually, Kairi," he said.

"Nah," she waved a hand at him dismissively, "we can stay _forever_ ," she spread her arms wide and fell back down on the bed.

"Right," Sora said. She was likely going to be out for the next few hours, and he really didn't wish to stay any longer than necessary.

"Aren't you having fun?" Kairi asked, as if the idea that he wasn't was an astounding proposition.

"Sure," he nodded. "I'm having fun."

"Good," Kairi smiled pleasantly, "you never have any fun."

He looked at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come _on_ Sora, you hate fun."

"I do not."

"You do toooooo."

"It's hard to have fun in a place like this," he admitted honestly. What did it matter, when she wouldn't remember anything in the morning?

"This is where all the fun happens," Kairi said, but she sounded solemn.

Sora said nothing for a long moment. "Kairi, can I ask you something?"

"Ask awaaay," she sang, lifting an arm into the air.

"Did Riku hurt you?"

"Riku loooooves me," she grinned. "He said so. He can't hurt me, ever ever."

"Right."

"Do _you_ love me?" she quested, and suddenly she sounded very serious.

"What?" Sora asked, startled.

Kairi struggled to sit up, but eventually managed. She crawled up between Sora's legs, until she was stretched over him, their bodies almost touching, and she looked him in the eyes.

"I see the way you look at me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You do," Kairi whispered, and her eyes were almost closed shut. "I know you do."

It happened in an instant, her head swooped down and captured his lips with hers and Sora found his resistance melting away so very quickly. Their mouths moved in tandem, a beautiful rhythm, and despite the taste of alcohol, Sora loved the way she felt. He pulled her closer and their bodies pressed against each other and Kairi whimpered in his mouth. All the heat in his body was rushing to his groin and she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt in her hands and pulled him even closer. She straddled him and he reached around, gripping and squeezing her and he couldn't help the groan that escaped him.

When they could finally do no more, they broke away for air. Kairi remained close, panting heavily in his ear. It was enough to drive Sora close to the brink, to the point of no return. He was going to lose control.

"Kairi," he hissed as she suckled on his neck, planting kisses as she worked her way downwards, "we have to stop."

"I don't wanna," she protested, continuing her efforts, her hands snaking their way under his shirt.

"We have to," he said, just barely able to get the words out, the physical sensations she was imparting on him threatening to overwhelm him.

"I can't," he said again, pushing her hands away. "Not when you're like this."

Kairi stared at him, trying to comprehend the words he was speaking. "You don't want me," she mumbled, looking downright devastated.

"That's…that's not true," he said, still trying to recover from what had just taken place. "Just…not like this."

Her shoulders slumped and she sat back. Sora saw a tear fall and hit the bedsheet and he felt like a monster.

"Nobody wants me," she whispered.

"Hey," he said forcefully, placing his hands on her shoulders. "That's not true. That's not true at all."

Kairi sniffled and didn't respond.

"Come on, Kairi. I…you're drunk out of your mind. Do you understand that? Drunk. We can't…I can't…"

He wasn't sure if she understood, but she clambered over to the other side of the bed and fell down on the pillow. Sora waited a minute before shaking her. She didn't move. Her breathing was soft and steady. She was sound asleep.

Sora sat there, trying to wrap his head around the night's events, and finding himself to be utterly exhausted in the process. He got up and shut the door to the rest of the house, leaving the two of them, at least for the time being, alone.

He was just thankful she had found him before anyone else had found her. He wondered to himself if she had a habit of doing this, he wondered about the words she had spoken, wondered about the all too frequent private departure from the public confidence that she liked to project. If anything, she was a babe in the woods. She liked to pretend.

Sora laid down next to her, making sure to cover them both with the bedsheets. It was stupid. They were in someone else's house, at a party, no less. Kairi's lovely limo was probably waiting on a call from her. Anyone could walk in at any moment. But it was all okay.

He liked to pretend too.


	17. Freedom

_**I am very very sorry for this extended hiatus. Spring semester was out to end me so I had to use all my energy to survive that and then I just fell off the radar. Best I can do is say I'm back now with renewed motivation and I'm shooting for one update a week (maybe more) so enjoy!**_

* * *

He dreamt of endless fields and roses and cloudless skies. He heard voices calling out to him and waves breaking on shores. He saw his mother and he reached out to her with fingers ensconced tightly in black gloves. He saw Kairi, loose and limp, suspended in empty space. He tried to scream and no sound came out.

Sora opened his eyes and coughed, the bleary world enclosed him and presented him with such strange comfort that he was tempted to close his eyes again. He turned his head and glimpsed through his sleep induced haze the imprints left on the other side of the bed. He furrowed his brow and tried to think. Everything was unfamiliar, and then it all flowed back in a rush. Memories of the previous night, the drive, the party, Tidus, Aqua, Riku.

Kairi.

Sora shot up and scanned the room. He was alone. She was gone. He pushed the covers off and hopped over the bed to the window with its panoramic view of the borough below. He scanned the entrance. Most of the cars that had been parked along the sidewalks and inside the gated entrance were gone. Kairi's limo was nowhere to be seen. She had left him alone, he realized with growing dismay. She had kissed him, again, and then she had left him. He sat on the window sill and pressed his forehead to the glass. It was almost too funny.

He was thrust from his dismal contemplation by the sound of footsteps below. Sora tensed, his head swiveled to the door. At least she had the decency to close it before she ran off, he thought bitterly. He realized that he was stuck in Riku's house and that if he was looking to get out in one piece and with minimal humiliation, it would have been wise to depart hours ago.

He tiptoed to the door as quietly as he could manage. He turned the knob and slowly pulled it open, peeking his head out and looking for any sign of life. The footsteps continued to sound off below. Sora crept out into the hall, taking all the care in the world not to press his toes too hard into the mahogany wooden floorboards. He heard the sounds of light snoring and shuffling and noticed for the first time people spread out in corners along the hall. It seemed that he was not the only one who had found themselves incapable of leaving.

Confidence rising, he descended the spiraling staircase. The footsteps had ceased and now he heard a sighing rising from the room below. Sora wasn't certain why his heart was beginning to pound, didn't particularly care to analyze it. Instead, steeling himself to greet whomever it was below, Sora took a breath and continued on.

It was not a pretty sight. The party of the year had left a mess to end all messes. Food, wrappers, napkins, and glass bottles littered the floor. It looked like a hurricane had traveled over them and swept everything up in its wake. Sora supposed that in a way that is exactly what had happened.

"Like what I've done with the place?" a voice rang out over the heavy silence.

Sora turned and was almost surprised to find Riku, slouched over one his tables, a bottle of some type of alcohol in his hands. He caught Sora's confounded stare, winked, and downed some more of his bottle.

"Um…" Sora scratched the back of his neck.

"Well, they're not gonna drink themselves," Riku hiccupped and gestured to the many bottles of unopened alcohol placed neatly on every table. "You get all this stuff out for people and they don't even drink it," Riku shook his head. "Bunch of phonies."

"Right…" Sora wondered if he could just turn around and leave. The front door was only a couple dozen feet away.

Riku glanced at him again, his eyes narrowing as he focused on the boy standing awkwardly amidst the remains of his party. He gestured with loose hands to a seat at his table. "Sit," he said. Understanding that this entire situation was going the exact opposite of how he had hoped, Sora stepped forward with a hearty sigh and sat down across from Riku. May as well, he thought.

They said nothing for a long while. The silence punctuated by the occasional suckling of Riku on his bottle. Sora tapped his fingers on the table nervously, looking around the room, looking anywhere but at the person sitting in front of him.

Riku sighed. "Kairi brought you here, didn't she?"

Sora looked at him. Riku wore an expression too complex, too resistant to interpretation. The bruise under his eye was beginning to fade, leaving a blotch of yellow in its wake.

Sora nodded. "She did. Not really sure why I agreed though."

"Well," Riku lifted his glass as if in a toast, "Glad you could make it."

Sora huffed, his lips rising in the very smallest of smiles.

"Sorry about your arm," Riku slurred, eyeing Sora's brace.

Sora blinked. "Forget about it," he said.

Riku shook his head, slowly, as if going too fast would force him to fall over. "No…'m sorry."

"Yeah, well, I _did_ attack you, didn't I?" Sora sighed.

Riku laughed, a big, bellowing thing of a laugh. He went on and on and couldn't stop. Sora smirked at the sight. He supposed it was kind of funny.

"Yeah," Riku managed to spit out, wiping his eyes and struggling to stop the giggles shuddering through his body. "You sure did."

They fell silent again. Sora watched as Riku played with the bottle, passing it from hand to hand, twirling it around on the table. He thought back to the conversation he and Tidus had engaged in the night before and what they had tacitly agreed upon. He suddenly felt sick.

Riku mumbled something and Sora leaned across the table. "What?" he asked.

"…said 'm glad she has you."

Sora fell back in his seat. "What?" he asked again.

Riku looked up at him and this time Sora could see the softness in them, the vulnerability, and he almost wanted to turn away but found that he couldn't.

"It wasn't always like this," Riku whispered, and to Sora's amazement, his bottom lip began to tremble. Undeterred, he decided to press forward. "What was it like?" he asked.

"Better," Riku nodded to himself, his eyes focused squarely on the table, "Nobody got hurt."

Sora was quiet for a moment. "But you did, didn't you?"

Riku looked at him and Sora found himself staring into the vacant dullness that he had become acquainted with. The dullness that was always there and yet truly revealed itself only in the most private of moments. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes."

"And someone's hurt Kairi," Sora stated.

Riku said nothing for a long while. He raised the glass bottle to his lips and found there was nothing left to drink. He let the bottle drop to the floor. It did not smash, but bounced and rolled away.

"I didn't know it would be like this," he said.

"You didn't know what would be like this?" Sora questioned, beginning to feel the flickering flames of frustration deep in his gut.

"This place is a disease," Riku said, his hollow eyes gliding over the room.

"Your house?" Sora turned in his seat and looked at the place. "It's a little bit of a mess, but – "

"Brooklyn. Never should have come here," Riku muttered.

"Oh…well," Sora twiddled his thumbs, "it's not the greatest place on Earth, sure, but it's your home, isn't it?"

"Destiny Island is my home," Riku said, perhaps a bit sharply. Sora just looked at him. "This place swallows you whole," he continued, "chews you up until there's just nothing left."

"Okay…" Sora said, he rubbed the top of his head, absently trying to get the spikes to come down. "Look, Riku-"

"Don't make my mistakes," Riku said, angry tears forming in the corner of his eyes and Sora sat, stunned. "You got it? Don't fall for it like I did."

"I don't know what you're-"

"Because one day you're gonna find out that you've gone in too deep, and then there's no way out."

Sora stood and had begun to make his way towards the door. He didn't want to hear it anymore. He wanted to leave. He reached to push open the wide double door and paused when he heard Riku cackling drunkenly behind him.

"You can't stop them. You can't stop them."

* * *

Sora trudged through heavy snowfall, the wind roared and streaks of frozen precipitation lashed at his face. With no car, it had taken him nearly forty minutes to get back to Brownsville, and by then his shoes were soaked from the inside out, his hair was matted down and dripping water and his muscles ached fiercely. Despite having woken up only an hour and a half before, he was ready to pass out in his own bed.

Sora's dreams of fresh sleep were squandered when he entered his apartment and saw Naminé sitting nervously on the couch. He stopped in the doorway, a bit put off by the sight. He wondered briefly how they had gone from nobody frequenting their apartment to what seemed like new people all the time. Things were, in fact, changing.

"Hi Sora," she greeted politely, looking up at him with big blue eyes that reminded him of someone whom he was trying very hard not to think about.

"Hey," Sora said, slowly closing the door behind him. "What's up? Is Roxas-?"

"He's fine," she said quietly, "He's still asleep. I came here to talk to you actually."

"Oh," Sora felt his insides begin to churn. "Well, okay. What is it?"

Naminé said nothing. He could see she was tense and he wondered how much courage she had been forced to conjure up to even show up like this. He could not remember a single time where he had held a conversation with Naminé simply by themselves.

"I'm really worried about Roxas," she said finally.

"Oh…um, well, he's been taking things kind of hard," he said lamely. He wasn't sure what to say.

"I know," Naminé nodded, and her eyes blazed as she locked her gaze onto his. "I think he should talk to someone."

"Well…that's what you're around for, right?" Sora asked, smirking as if he were dropping some whimsical jest. He cringed internally when her expression hardened.

"You're his brother. You both lost someone, didn't you?"

Sora nodded, unsure even if he should speak.

"He told me about what you both had to do to make munny, about what happened to you when you went missing," Naminé admitted, her face softening as she spoke.

Now he was truly at a loss for words. "He told you all that?"

Naminé nodded. "He told me that he's worried about you."

"I know, look, I've been trying to talk to him, but he doesn't listen to me…at all," Sora said, his voice descending into a harsh whisper as he listened to the sound of Roxas shuffling in his sleep echo from down the hall.

"I think we should both encourage him to talk to someone other than you and me, then. Like…a therapist," Naminé concluded, her words mimicking her determined state of being.

"A therapist," Sora repeated blandly. "Yeah…I mean, yeah. If you think that'd help him."

Naminé observed him with an odd look. "What's wrong?"

Sora shook his head. "Nothing. I guess I just…didn't think he'd need one."

"Well, I think he does…" she trailed off. Their conversation was reaching ever greater uncomfortable depths the longer they stood there.

"Just…give me a call when you find someone? I'll talk to him about it," Sora assured her.

"Okay," the girl nodded, seemingly satisfied with his response. She made to leave and Sora stood staring ahead as she moved past him.  
"Hey, Naminé." She turned around to look at him, her eyebrows raised as she waited patiently for him to say something.

"Have you seen Kairi today?"

She gave him a strange look. "No. Why?"

Sora shook his head. "Just wondering."

She watched him for a few moments and then left; the door clicked shut behind her.

* * *

Kairi moves along wintry streets, her face buried deeply in a woolen scarf. The wind whips at her and she shudders in the cold air. She stops outside a house and looks up at the windows that almost look like eyes. Rubbing her arms anxiously, she steps up the porch and enters the home. Already she can hear lazy voices drifting through space.

"-and so they did this experiment that showed that the properties of the particles were correlated exactly like he said!"

"Nah man, they were already like that from the start."

"C'mon, you're interpreting it wrong, they aren't in a definite state until they're measured."

"Can you prove that?"

"It's all in the theorem. No hidden – uh – no hidden theory of…um…local hidden variables can ever reproduce all the experimental results of quantum physics. It puts a constraint on _reality_ itself man. It's experimental fucking _metaphysics_. I'm telling you, everything is everything."

Kairi kicks her shoes off and rubs her eyes tiredly. It's been a long twenty-four hours. Very long. She steps into the den, where the lights are dimmed and the open fireplace crackles in the heavy air and all eyes turn to her.

"Hello Kairi," someone says to her. She moves her gaze to the speaker, sitting comfortably in a dark corner of the room, swallowed by shadows. She resists the urge to run off and sits down with the rest of the people gathered in a loose circle, taking care not to fall over. Her head still aching from the previous night's activities.

"You seen Aqua?" Vanitas asks her. His eyes are black in the firelight and she shakes her head.

"She was supposed to be here," he mutters. "You friends with that spikey haired kid?"

Kairi perks up. "Who?" she asks.

"Sora," he says and bares his teeth angrily.

She looks at the other people gathered about the room, Ventus, Terra, Wakka, Tifa, Rikku, and the man sitting in the far corner, body and mind shrouded in darkness.

Kairi chews on her cheek. "Not really," she says and her voice comes out ever smaller.

"Need to teach that little fucker something about manners," Vanitas grits out.

"Riku's missing too," Wakka notes. "Thought he said he was coming."

"Kid doesn't know right from left," Vanitas dismisses with a wave of his hand. "A loose cannon if you ask me."

"He'll be fine," Tifa smirks and Kairi's heart clenches in her chest. The man in the corner leans forward and Kairi sees that same smirk imprinted in the darkness.

"It doesn't matter," he says and everyone stiffens. "One day he too will be gone just like the rest of them, because just like the rest of them he is a part of the perpetual, the infinite-cum-indefinite. Cycles of fate, cycles of destiny, cycles of history. Man makes his mark on the world not through his action but his inaction and unless he allows the wave of history at its sum to carry him forward he will be disposed of all the same."

"I'm in control of what I'm doing," Ventus speaks. He looks down at his hands with wide and fearful eyes as if he's seeing them for the very first time.

"Dude," Wakka says, "Libet's experiments."

The man interrupts them. "The illusion of conscious agency descends from the fallibility of mind to recognize what it is in itself. The branches of world-hood stem from a single source. The root of all evil is the root of all people. Man is the result of a process that stretches back through the aeons and through many lives and many bodies. You are the end result of causal powers determined and set in the soil and soul of the universe reaching backwards through temporality and meeting the very inevitability of the uncaused cause."

Ventus tries and fails to smile. "'If this is the best possible world, what must the others be like'"? he quotes.

The man smiles. "I am creator and destroyer and this world tastes the sweetest."

* * *

Sora was on his annual run again. He retrieved his package from Demyx and made quick work of the drop-off points. The munny piled up. All in a day's work.

He was on his way back to deliver the Organization's share when his name was called.

"Sora!"

He turned and saw Tidus running up to him. He sighed wearily. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now, especially not Tidus. He stuck the munny pouches in his pocket and awaited the inevitable.

"What is it?" he asked, slowing down and allowing Tidus to fall into step beside him.

"How was the rest of the party?" Tidus asked. Sora looked at him with a disbelieving expression. Tidus narrowed his eyes at him and shook his head. "Just being friendly," he muttered.

"Whatever. What do you want?" Sora asked.

"Just wanted to know if you gave any further thought to what we talked about."

A dreadful feeling spread throughout Sora's body. He had been fearing this. It had seemed so easy, so simple to agree back then. But now he wasn't so sure.

"Listen…I don't know-"

"Sora," Tidus interrupted. He held out his arm and they both stopped.

"What exactly do you have against Riku?" Sora asked, unable to prevent the biting anger from tinging his voice. "You sit at his table, you're friends, so what the fuck?"

"I figured you'd know by now that appearance isn't always reality," Tidus shrugged.

"So you're a fake is what you're saying. Why in the worlds would I ever trust you?"

Tidus said nothing, his mouth hung open in a small O. "Huh?"

"What?" Sora asked, thoroughly confused.

"What did you say?"

"I asked why I should trust you."

"No. Worlds?"

"What are you saying?" Sora huffed in exasperation.

Tidus shook his head. "Nevermind. All that really matters is that he's a problem for both you and me, right? Don't want him making time with your girl, do you?"

"I don't know that he's a problem for me. Why is he a problem for you?" Sora asked, ignoring the jab about Kairi.

Tidus looked around, as if searching for any eavesdroppers. "Why did you take the job?" he finally asked Sora. Sora stared at him in absolute befuddlement. "What job?"

"You know what job," Tidus nodded to the pouches of munny sticking ever conspicuously out of Sora's pockets.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sora said defensively. He began walking again and Tidus remained at his heels.

"Oh yeah? Who are you meeting at the docks every week?" Tidus hit back smartly.

Sora rounded on him. "Have you been _following_ me?" he asked. The very notion was unbelievable to him.

"Maybe," Tidus dodged. "I know what goes on down there."

Sora stared at him. "Tell me what your problem is with Riku and _maybe_ I'll help you," he growled.

"Help me deal with Riku or I'll tell everyone what you're doing," Tidus countered.

"You want him out of the way so badly? He's drunk out of his mind back in his fucking mansion. Why don't you go handle it yourself?" Sora fumed, his hands balled into fists.

It took him a few seconds to realize the footsteps beside him had faded away. He turned back, confused, and saw Tidus standing still, eyes and mouth scrunched up in concentration. Contemplating madly.

"What?" Sora asked. He really wished he could rid himself of this situation, but the funny look on Tidus's face had struck some nerve and now he waited with bated breath to hear what he was going to say.

Tidus finally looked at him. "You said he's back at the mansion?"

"Yeah…"

"Drunk."

"Yeah…?"

"Huh," Tidus turned slowly and began to walk away. Sora watched him go. Watched him make a left down towards the Gardens, down towards Riku's residence.

Sora stood stock still and tense, wondering why he had opened his mouth at all. He looked back towards the docks. Demyx would be expecting him, he was supposed to be there to deliver the munny soon. But Tidus was heading towards Riku's. And that could only mean one thing.

Sora began to run. He pulled out his flip phone and quickly dialed Demyx.

"Sora, what-"

"Listen – don't have time to explain – I'm gonna be a little late – I've got the munny don't worry," he huffed and hung up. He turned the same corner Tidus had just turned and saw the boy was nowhere to be seen. He must have taken off fast. Sora sprinted, he sprinted as fast as he could and when pain began to accompany every intake of breath he slowed to a lighter run. In and out, he tried to pace himself. He needed to stop Tidus from doing whatever he was about to do. All thoughts but one had left his mind.

 _I don't want more blood on my hands._

When he finally came to the gated entrance to Riku's house he could see quite clearly that the front double doors were open and his heart screeched to a halt. This was it. He was too late. But then he saw the familiar dirty blonde mane sticking up from behind the hedges lining the bottom window's and his confusion grew.

Trying to catch his breath, Sora slid through the wide bars of the gate, he would thank the heavens for his thinness later, and crept up behind Tidus whom he could now see was staring through one of the windows with a stoic expression.

Sora placed a hand on his shoulder and Tidus jumped, looking back at him angrily. Then he raised a finger to his lips and pointed at the window.

"What?" Sora asked and Tidus again pointed at the window. Sora crouched beside Tidus and peered through the glass.

A man and a woman were strolling casually through the bottom floor. Sora recognized Larxene from his first venture to the warehouse, the man seemed vaguely familiar. He was bulky and had numerous deadlocks drooping down and around his head. They were peering under tables, lifting them over and

"Organization…" Sora murmured. Tidus turned to him.

"Seriously?" he whispered, the shock evident in his voice.

Sora nodded. "I know the girl. I think it's them."

"Guess Riku's finally on his way out then," Tidus said. Sora turned to him in disbelief. "You mean...?"

"Yeah. I think they're going to off him."

Sora turned back to the scene playing out inside, stunned, his mind working in overdrive. He thought back to his conversation with Riku. Just that morning. Why did it seem so long ago? Riku had been upset. Afraid, even.

Regret.

Sora stood and rushed out of the bushes, slipping around the side of the mansion as Tidus scrambled behind him. "Sora, wait!" he heard the boy calling in a hushed tone.

"I can't," Sora said, arriving in the spacious backyard with its pool and its hot-tub and Greek statues. "I have to get inside."

"Look, whatever you think you're going to do in there is definitely not going to work out," Tidus spoke matter-of-factly.

Sora ignored him and raced to the back door. Please open, he thought, Please open.

It did. He held his hand on the handle, hesitating, listening to Tidus's rush of whispered persuasion and he wondered if he had ever had one good idea in his entire life.

He opened the door and slipped inside.


	18. Hiraeth

His breath came in hushed pants and his chest thudded painfully. Nuts. This was nuts. He hesitated, pausing in Riku's opulent kitchen with its marble topped counters and glass cabinets and its giant chandelier of a fan whirling lazily above. Sora strained to listen to the sounds the two Organization members were making in the room just beyond the kitchen. Their hasty movements had stopped and Sora could hear their whispering. Sora looked back, saw Tidus standing just outside, shifting from foot to foot, watching him with weary and nerve-wracked eyes. Such a stupid idea.

Sora peeked his head around the open doorway and stared into the room. Larxene and her companion were speaking, heads down, quiet. Riku was nowhere in sight they hadn't found him upstairs he must be upstairs. Sora forced himself to breath. His mind was racing. He would do no good to anyone if he couldn't think. There was a way upstairs without going through the spacious party room, an open doorway from the kitchen that opened into a hall and arrived at the other side of the staircase. If he could just make it-

His phone blared and he jumped, startled. He quickly shoved his hand into his pocket and grabbed it, flipping it open and shut again. It was too late. The whispering had stopped. All was quiet. They had heard, he knew it deep in his bones and yet he hoped it wasn't true. He didn't know how he was going to explain any of this if he was caught. Sora moved quickly, gliding over the floor and rushing into the back hall. He heard footsteps entering the kitchen and knew he had stepped away from the edge at the last moment. He was still in the game.

Sora followed the hall and came to the stairs. There was nobody in site. He could hear the kitchen being scoured and an irritated sigh. He heard them speak.

"He's not here."

"Upstairs probably. C'mon, we have to make this quick."

Sora ascended the staircase and winced every time the steps creaked under his weight. Too much noise. He was making too much noise. He picked up the pace and reached the second floor. They were coming. He could hear them. Sora surveyed the hall and saw no stragglers from the party lying around. Everyone had left, at least from what he could see.

He got to work, opening every closed door, sticking his head through open entrances, scanning the musty corners for any sign of Riku. There was nothing. Sweat trickled down his face. Now he could hear the stairs creaking behind him. The heavy black boots of the Organization beating heavily upon the wooden floor. They were coming.

Finally, he reached the door at the end of the hall. It was nondescript, same as all the others, except for the gleaming silver handle. Sora grabbed it and pushed the door open. He stood in the doorway despite the menacing sounds that sounded ever closer just behind. A strange feeling overcame him as he stepped into Riku's room, as if the weight of all history before him was suddenly bearing down upon him. Sweetness tinged with sadness.

The silver haired boy lay sprawled out over his king sized bed, sound asleep and snuffling. Sora guided the door closed behind him, taking care not to let it slam. The room was lined with desks and there was a giant flat screen television hung from the wall directly across from his bed. He was well stocked, it seemed. Numerous pictures stood on Riku's desks and when a flash of red caught Sora's eye he could not help but examine them closer. He lifted one and stared. It was a picture of Riku and Kairi, her hands pulling at her cheeks and her tongue stuck out teasingly and her eyes scrunched closed and Riku – Riku grinning and giving her bunny ears. Sora could see the sparkling ocean behind them and the tropical trees bent in their primordial ways and Sora felt pain unlike any he had felt before. Sadness tinged with sweetness.

The sound of slamming doors drew him away from his dreamy examination. Putting the picture down, he grabbed Riku gingerly by the shoulders and shook him. He reeked of alcohol.

"Riku. Riku. Wake up."

The boy mumbled something in his sleep and attempted to roll over.

"C'mon Riku, I need you to wake up."

They were getting closer, Sora could hear them now. Sora shook the unconscious boy harder.

"Please wake up."

"'mmou have to go…" Riku yawned and fell still once again.

"Riku, they're going to _kill you."_

Nothing.

The jig was up. They were just outside now. There was no way out of this. Fear and a hot sense of shame were coursing through him and he listened in despair as they stopped just outside the door.

In that moment he sprang into action, compelled by some primal improvisational force that he wasn't quite certain he truly had. He opened the door fast, flashing a wide goofy smile at the two stunned Organization members and slipped out into the hall, slamming the door shut behind him as quickly as he had flung it open.

"Hey guys! What's up?" he asked cheerfully. Maybe too cheerfully.

Larxene and her bulky friend with dreadlocks stared down at Sora with a mixture of awe and annoyance.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, bearing down on him with narrowed eyes. Sora resisted the urge to draw away. He had ceded all control to impulse now.

"Didn't you hear? There was a pretty _wild_ party here last night," he said, looking around the hall nonchalantly.

"You're supposed to be on the job," Larxene growled. Her eyes moved from his face to his bulging pockets, and her face scrunched up in some inscrutable expression. The man with dreadlocks stood watching him, unmoving.

"I just got done. Came by to see if it was still on. Too bad nobody's here," Sora forced out a laugh and scratched his neck. He wished he felt as confident as he sounded.

Larxene said nothing and looked at the door he had just exited from. "What's in there?" she asked.

"Oh, there?" Sora looked at the door as if he were mulling some vexing problem. "Nothing really…thought it was a bathroom."

"A bathroom," she snorted. She moved to push it open and Sora tried to step in her way, but her friend shuffled in front of him.

"Larxene, wait," he said, trying to come up with some excuse, some distraction, anything to get them away.

She smirked and opened the door. Sora felt himself go numb. It was all over.

Only it wasn't. Riku was not where he had been. The bed was devoid of any human persons, as if it had been untouched all along. Sora looked around wildly, thinking he had perhaps rolled onto the floor in his dozy drunken stupor. But there was nothing to be seen, nothing to be found.

"Hm," Larxene hummed and stepped through the room. The burly man stood in front of the door, blocking Sora's access.

"Are you hiding something from me, little one?" she asked in a sing-song voice that made Sora's stomach swim uncomfortably.

"Other than a toilet? No."

The half-smile never left her face as her eyes swept the room, past the television, past the desks and the closets and the windows and the bed and then finally turning back on Sora. Her eyes locked onto his and he fought to keep his face devoid of any emotion other than cavalier comfort.

His phone sounded off again.

His eyes widened and that was enough. Larxene's smile grew wider and she crossed her arms and looked at him with a satisfied gleam of triumph.

"Answer it."

Sora stood still as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He knew, deep in his heart, that it could only be one person.

"Go on. I wouldn't want to spoil your _fun_."

Sora pursed his lips. He extracted the phone from his pocket and looked at the caller ID. His heart sunk when he saw it: Demyx.

"It's nobody."

" _Answer it._ "

Reluctantly, he hit accept and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Speaker, please," Larxene asked sweetly and Sora could see the malicious glint in her eyes, as if she had been waiting for this all along. He did as bid.

"Hello?"

"What the fuck, Sora? Where is the munny?" Demyx's angry voice carried out from the speakers and Sora flinched. Larxene and her associate watched like vultures about to swoop in on their wounded prey.

"I-I've got it with me," Sora stuttered, "I got hung up, I promise I'll get there soon."

"I don't like waiting," Demyx said and the implicit threat was as clear as it would ever be. Sora gave a small nod, as if he Demyx could see him in such a terrible position.

"I know. Just give me twenty minutes, please," Sora begged. He needed this call to end. He wondered offhand if they might not just kill him right there.

"Kid, if you're not here-"

"I will be," Sora said, and at last he could at least pride himself in finding some strength to project, "I will."

Demyx muttered something incoherent and hung up. Sora let his arm drop to his side. He looked up at Larxene.

"Well, well," she said and her grin was unimaginably smug, "I wonder what little Sora was _really_ doing here. What do you think, Xaldin?"

Xaldin grunted and continued to bore holes into his head with eyes as hard as diamond.

Larxene padded across Riku's room and leaned down so her mouth was to Sora's ear. He felt her hot breath tickle him as she spoke, "I would be _very_ careful from now on, if I were you." Then they were gone the way they came, disappearing down the stairs and leaving him alone in the hall.

Sora took a step forward and realized he was shaking.

* * *

He was too tired, too anxious to even hide the munny that close to spilling from his pockets when he arrived back at the apartment that night. The place smelled of bacon and smoke and Sora was surprised to see Roxas tending to something on their stove.

"I didn't know you could cook," Sora smiled wearily. Roxas turned to look at him and huffed.

"Naminé taught me a bit," he said, taking a piece of bacon out from the pan and biting into it.

"A little late for that, no?" Sora asked, making sure to push his munny deeper into his pockets as he entered their small kitchen.

"I got hungry," Roxas said defensively. Sora picked up on the dullness that still weaved its way through every word his brother spoke.

"How are you doing?" Sora asked, and Roxas said nothing. "Seriously."

"I'm fine," he shrugged.

Sora contemplated his next words. He tapped a finger on the edge of the table and stared down at the wooden patterns that lined the rest of it. "You ever think about maybe talking?" he asked.

"Talking?"

"Yeah, like how you could talk to me…or Naminé…but maybe something – I don't know – professional?"

"Like a shrink?"

Sora shrugged. "Whatever."

Roxas continued stirring his pot. After a minute he shut the stove off and leaning against the counter, turned to face Sora.

"You know what I don't get?" he asked and when Sora said nothing he continued, "You keep going around acting like _your_ mother didn't just die too. Oh Roxas, how are you doing? Oh Roxas, where are you going? Oh Roxas, do you want to talk to a shrink?" he gripped the sides of the counter with trembling fingers. "What about you, Sora? How do _you_ feel?"

Sora looked at him tiredly. "It was just a suggestion."

"What did you say to me once? Oh yeah, you can keep your suggestions wherever the fuck."

Sora nodded and looked down. His temples were beginning to ache and he rubbed small circles into them with his fingers. He listened to Roxas leave for his room and sighed when his door closed and took comfort in the sounds of downtown Brooklyn echoing wildly through urban air.

He locked their door and all the windows that night.

* * *

Kairi wouldn't even look at him.

All day he had been trying to get her attention. All day he had been waiting to catch her at her usual haunts. But by seventh period History it had become abundantly clear to Sora that she was consciously evading him. He sat in his seat and kept his eyes trained on her dark red hair and wondered where it was all going. One step forward, five giant leaps back it seemed to him was _the_ perfect way to summarize their relationship. She was a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Or maybe she was just too confused, maybe the sweet trappings of youth, too powerful to resist, were pulling her every which way like it did with the entirety of their generation. They were traveling different paths.

Riku, on the other hand, he had managed to catalogue as among those _still in existence._ Sora wasn't sure what precisely had occurred that day, but the Organization had not caught up with him. He had wanted to talk to Riku, get him alone, ask him if he remembered anything about that day, but any such notion quickly proved to be an impossibility. He was still Riku. Loved and adored by the world at large, although that world seemed to be steadily closing in on them. Their fates, for better or for worse, were intertwined now.

Sora sunk into the chair in Aerith's office and ran a hand down his face. Usually he didn't drop by so late in the day, but so much had occurred in so short a time that he realized that he had actually begun to crave coming back to the place.

"So…" Aerith began expectantly.

"So…" Sora repeated.

"What do you think of my decorations?" she queried, gesturing to the numerous red and green bulbs hanging from the room and the walls and the tiny tree in the corner.

"Oh…" Sora stared at them. "Is it really almost Christmas?"

"It is," Aerith grinned, "Are you excited?"

Sora exhaled. "I haven't been paying too much attention to dates, I guess."

"I'm sure," Aerith nodded sympathetically. "How are things are at home?"

"Fine…" he replied. "Roxas is a bit hard to talk to."

Aerith nodded. "It's going to take some time. These things are never easy. It's something I've been working with him on."

Sora looked at her, alarmed. "Working with him?"

Aerith tilted her head, as if confused. "He's come to see me. We have semi-regular meetings."

"You do?" Sora asked, his confusion growing.

"Yes," Aerith nodded. "I figured he would have told you."

Sora shook his head. "What do you talk about?"

"You know I can't tell you that."

"Does he talk about me?"

"Sora."

"Sorry, sorry," he waved a hand at her. "I just didn't think he'd do something like that…by himself."

"He was fairly eager to talk. Sometimes all it takes is someone who'll listen."

"Right," Sora felt a flash of irritation course through him and he struggled to keep it submerged.

Sora rubbed the arms of the chair and the cool leather was a comfort on his heated skin. "What do you do when someone you want to talk to doesn't want to talk to you?"

Aerith considered the question. "May I ask whom this is about?"

"Let's keep it hypothetical."

"Usually it's best to wait until that person is ready to talk to you, although I can't speak for every individual case."

Sora nodded. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

"Thank you," Aerith smiled. "It _is_ what I'm here for."

"To be right?"

"To be helpful."

The dour expression on his face did not go unnoticed.

"What is it?"

He struggled with his words, unsure of how to articulate the swirl of emotions vying within him.

"There are so many people…people who need my help. I don't think I can save them all," he said. He felt and heard his own fear.

"It's not your job to save everyone, Sora."

He held his head in his hands. "Things are spinning out of control. I think I messed up. I think I've been making things worse."

"How have you been making things worse?"

Sora shook his head. "Bad things are going to happen and it's going to be my fault."

* * *

She paints in broad strokes. Holds the brush with a loose grip and shaking hand. Breathes and presses on. It all comes down, one stroke, two. A pattern emerges, messy and confused. Her sister was always better than her at art. The teacher comes around and peers over her shoulder. He nods and mumbles to himself.

"Very good, Kairi. Can I ask what you're trying to say?"

Her uncertain smile dampens into a puzzled frown. "Well…"

The teacher smiles. "That's alright. Sometimes we have to do a little thinking to figure out what our heart is trying to tell us. Right?"

"Right," she agrees and he moves on to the next person. She looks across the room and sees Aqua struggling with her own painting. She glances towards the teacher, too engaged with her peers to pay attention to her movements. She gets up and moves to the other side of the room, occupying an empty seat at Aqua's table.

"Hey," she greets. Aqua flashes her a smile and continues with her painting. Frankly it's a bit of a mess, Kairi thinks.

When Aqua says nothing more, Kairi takes it upon herself to continue. "You weren't around the other day," she notes.

Aqua sniffs the air. "Wasn't feeling up to it."

Kairi nods. "Oh." She eyes the bruising on Aqua's arm. "Did Vanitas do that?"

"Wow Kairi, you really know how to start off with the hard hitters," Aqua deadpans. Kairi sighs and looks down at the table.

"Sorry, I just – do you wanna talk about it?"

Aqua turns to face her. "Do you want to talk about Sora?"

Kairi blinks. "What about him?"

"I saw you go into that room at the party and I saw you leave without him," Aqua says, as if she's a doctor listing off facts.

"I…I couldn't – things got…kind of awkward."

"Kind of?" Aqua looks at her and for the first time a hint of a smile crosses her face.

Kairi shrugs. "I messed up. I made myself look completely stupid."

"So what?" Aqua shrugs. "Do you like him?"

Kairi feels her face go hot. "I don't know. Why are you asking?"

Aqua is quiet as she paints her picture. Violet brush strokes. She puts the brush down and looks at Kairi. "People around here treat the kid like he's dirt."

"I know," Kairi bites her lip and looks at the floor.

"I never understood that," Aqua comments. "He's good," she smiles.

"He is," Kairi agrees. "I just don't know how to tell him about…about all this."

"Have you tried?" Aqua asks.

"Well…" Kairi rubs her arm, "It's hard. It's really hard."

"There isn't a single thing worth doing that's easy," Aqua says.

"Wow, where'd you steal that one from?" Kairi says snidely and the two girls laugh.

"Just be honest," Aqua says and her voice takes on something more serious. "Maybe he can help."

* * *

He left the school and descended the front steps. The sky, which had started off bright and blue, was now pale and overcast. Thunder rumbled off in the distance and jittery ravens took flight and made wary circles over the borough.

Sora had stepped onto the sidewalk and had begun to make his way home when something reached out and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him into the alcove beside the stairs.

 _This is it oh god this is it_

He screwed his eyes up and prepared for the worst. When nothing happened, he warily opened them. It was Riku. Sora opened his mouth to question and found he was unable to speak.

"Sora," Riku said, and it occurred to him that he had never heard the other boy say his name without some measure of disdain or derision until now. "Are you alright?"

"Am _I_ alright?" Sora asked, astounded. "What happened to you the other day? Do you remember anything?"

Riku nodded grimly. "I know. I heard everything. I heard you distracting them. I knew what was going on as soon as I did and I hid. I wanted to – " he swallowed, "I wanted to say thank you."

Sora nodded. "What are you going to do?"

Riku leaned against the alley wall and he visibly deflated. "I can't stay here. They've got people in this school. It was probably stupid of me to even show up, but I had to talk to you."

"Go to the administrators, go to the police, go to _anyone_."

"It won't matter," Riku shook his head, his eyes resting on the floor in resignation, "if the Organization wants you, they'll get you."

Sora wracked his brain for something, anything. There had to be some alternative. It didn't have to end like this.

"Come back with me."

"What?" Riku looked up at him in surprise.

"I can hide you in our apartment. They won't think to look there. You can stay until we figure something else out."

Riku seemed to consider the offer, and then he looked Sora square in the eyes.

"Why are you working with them?"

"What?" Sora asked, caught off guard.

"Why are you with them?" Riku repeated.

"I'm not _with_ anyone," Sora protested. "Why do they want _you_ dead?" he countered.

"Because they found something better."

"Better?"

"You," Riku said.

"I-" Sora's mouth hung open. Of course. He had been told as much before. He had always known. There was no use in pretending otherwise.

"We should go," he said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his tone. Riku kept quiet and followed.

This is how it starts, Sora thought and now he felt the tendrils of fate begin to wrap themselves around him. O God, this is how it starts.

* * *

They arrived at the apartment as the sun began to set. Sora threw another look over his shoulder and entered the building, Riku followed close behind. They halted at the foot of the stairs leading to the apartments.

"I don't know how to explain this to Roxas," Sora admitted.

"Does he know anything?" Riku questioned. Sora shook his head.

"Well," Riku sighed, "Lead the way."

Sora climbed the steps and together they entered the apartment.

"Roxas?" Sora called, "You home?"

No response. They took cautious steps forward. Nobody was home.

"Guess we're in the clear for now," Sora said and he could not help the relief flooding his body and mind. "Close the door."

Riku shut the door and locked it. They stood there uncomfortably, uncertain as to what to do or say.

"Want something to drink?" Sora asked.

"Sure," Riku nodded and sat down on the couch. He looked at the broken television. "Uh…does this thing work?"

"Don't even bother," Sora called from the kitchen. He brought Riku a glass of sparkling water and sat next to him. Riku looked at the glass with skeptical eyes.

"Seriously?"

"What?" Sora asked.

"Sparkling water?"

"I like it," Sora asserted defensively. Riku sighed and kicked back on the couch, leaning into its hard cushion. His eyes roamed the apartment.

"So…what do you guys do around here?" he questioned.

"Eat, sleep, drink…" Sora listed.

"Great," Riku nodded. "Just great."

They sat in silence, Riku sipping his sparkling water and Sora nervously twiddling his thumbs. The world just kept getting stranger, he thought. Riku in his apartment, sitting on his couch, drinking his water. What was next?

There was a knock on the door. Four sharp raps. Both Riku and Sora froze and stared at the door. Sora relaxed and stood to get it. Riku shot up in a panic and grabbed Sora's arm.

Sora looked at him quizzically. "What?" There were another two sharp knocks and Sora looked at the door.

"Not yet," Riku shook his head and spoke in a low voice. "Ask who it is first."

Sora turned to the door and cleared his throat. "Who is it?" he called.

For a while there was no response and the two boys remained in place, waiting for something, anything, to happen. "Roxas?" Sora asked and there was no response. He begun to understand that something was seriously wrong. The stuffy apartment air suddenly became freighted with unspoken desperation as all potential realities converged upon one frightening conclusion.

"There's a debt that needs to be paid," came a voice from beyond the door and Sora knew now that the end was indeed beginning. With sickly recognition he knew the voice to belong to Xaldin, whose angered whispers had kept him moving at Riku's.

Now there was nowhere to run.

"And I've come to collect," Xaldin said. Riku had edged towards the window and looked out with eyes round with panic, as if to search for some possible lifeline. What he saw instead drove fear deeper into his heart.

"Sora!" he whispered frantically and Sora looked at him. Riku pointed out the window and Sora shot over quickly to peer out. It was Kairi. Kairi. Kairi coming up towards the apartment projects. Kairi with her pink dress and loose hair and determined face. She was heading right into the abyss and she didn't even know it.

"We know he's in there," Xaldin called from behind the door. "We followed you home."

Sora wilted under dual pressures. This had to be some terrible dream, some terrible nightmare reserved only for the worst of nights. This couldn't be happening.

"Listen," Sora responded for the first time and he struggled to get the words past his rapidly drying throat, "we can work something out."

"I don't think so," Xaldin rendered his verdict and the clock tick ticked towards doomsday. There was a tremendous crash and Sora realized in growing horror that he was trying to kick the door down. The wood cracked.

Torn between the possibility of life and the tragedy of death, Sora faltered.


	19. Recognitions

All the world was still and Sora loved it. Everything had slowed to an imperceptible crawl. It was as if he had captured one moment of temporality and could keep it in place. If only one could have but world enough and-

Someone was shaking him hard. He turned, dazed, he just wanted more time. Riku looked at him as if he had gone insane.

"What do we do?" Riku asked him and for the very first time Sora caught fear in his voice. Oh, how he loved it when it was someone else. The door was splintering behind them. There was another loud crash and Sora was dragged back to the land of the soon to be expired living.

"You have to go," he heard himself say and he wondered where it was all coming from. "There's a fire escape out the window in Roxas's room. Take it and run."

"What about you?" Riku demanded. "You can't stay here."

"I have to," Sora said. Yes, he had to. Had to. "I can't leave Kairi here."

Riku looked torn, his eyes flitting from the door to Roxas's room. "Getting yourself killed won't save Kairi if she finds us like this. She'll be one more witness."

"Riku, _I can't leave her_ ," he hissed. Xaldin's boot was making headway. It would all come crashing down in but a few moments. "You have to go."

Riku wanted to argue, he could see it. And why not? Riku had known Kairi far longer than he had. The possibility that she might find herself in danger here was the best motivator if there had ever been one. And now he was asking Riku to run. To leave it all and get out. By what right? It was all messed up, Sora knew. But there was no escaping the situation. And the situation was as dire as it could be.

Riku fled. Sora watched him take off down the hall, heard him struggle with the window latch, heard the window screech in protest as he lifted it and heard the clanging as he hurtled down the escape. Riku was gone. Sora was alone.

But not for long. With mere seconds to spare, Sora vaulted himself over the couch, squeezing himself within the tiny space between the couch and the wall. If he could just make it seem like they had escaped, then it would be fine. The Organization would leave. Riku would be fine. Kairi would be fine. Sora prayed that it would take her extra-long to get there. If not, he might just have to

 _(die)_

fight for her. He wasn't sure he'd make it through that one.

The door came down with a tremendous crash. Sora winced, knew he'd have some explaining to do later, _hoped_ he'd be around to explain later. He heard them storm his apartment; it was impossible to estimate their numbers. Many. That was the best he could come up with.

They searched everywhere. He listened as they ransacked their rooms. Heard the munny pouches he had meticulously gathered under his mattress tumble onto the floor and rattle their contents about. At one point the couch was pulled forward and he almost fell along with it, but nobody peered over the edge, nobody looked through the crevices that had opened up to the side. He heard glassware shatter in the kitchen, their table creaking as it was pushed to the side. They were demolishing his apartment. Sora began to suspect this was some kind of punishment. _Hide what we want from us and we'll make your life impossible._

Someone was moving towards the couch again and Sora pushed himself closer to the floor. This was it. He could feel it. They were going to find him right here and put a bullet in his brain or toss him out a window or break every single bone in his body and leave him a writhing ruin.

Suddenly everything stopped. All movement came to a halt. Sora perked, listening, and he heard someone fiddling with something, a crackling sound, and then a voice.

" _We got him. Get out of there."_

Sora froze. Just as soon as they had kicked his door down, they were gone. He lay there, between his couch and the wall, and let his mind dovetail. He didn't want to think, tried to avoid the inevitable conclusion. They had failed. He had messed up. They had caught him.

They had Riku.

He heard a gasp and peeked his head over the couch. It was Kairi, taking in the destruction of his apartment before her. It was far worse than anything their mother had ever managed to do, that much Sora knew.

"Sora?" she looked at him, shock and disbelief evident on her face.

"Hi," he said, because what else was there to say? How could he ever even begin to explain all of this?

"What – What happened?" Kairi asked, her eyes still roaming the pieces of furniture and glass strewn about the room. She stepped inside. "I came to – I wanted to talk. What - ?" she paused, unable to finish her question.

"Um," Sora scratched his neck, "it's kind of hard to explain," he said. He felt his legs shaking and he sat down on the couch.

Kairi looked at him and her eyes narrowed in confusion. "Who were those people?" she asked and Sora's heart fell. "All those people coming out of your apartment?"

"I –" Sora wanted to lie, tell another fib, but he no longer had it in him to do so. He held his head in his hands and slumped forward. "I don't know," he murmured into his hands.

He felt her sit next to him, the cushions sinking under their combined weight. He felt her hand on his shoulder.

"Talk to me Sora," she said, her voice gentle. "What happened?"

"I messed up," he said, and to his immense embarrassment he felt his eyes begin to water. "I made a mistake."

"Okay," Kairi said and she rubbed a hand up and down his shoulder soothingly. "It's okay. Can you tell me what kind of mistake?"

Sora struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I don't know if I can," he said honestly and he turned to face her questioning stare. They looked at each other for a long time and to Sora their kiss felt like a million years ago. Everything that had ever happened before this day felt like a million years ago. It was funny, in a way, how truly momentous events had a way of making the rest of life seem so small.

Kairi let out a breath. "Okay," she said and looked around at the apartment. "We should get this cleaned up."

Sora looked at her in confusion. "You don't have to –"

"I want to," she said simply and stood. Sora said nothing and joined her. They grabbed plastic bags out of the kitchen and got to work, slaving over the damages and stepping carefully to avoid impaling their feet upon shards of glass. They worked in silence and to keep himself occupied felt like a blessing to Sora. He traveled over to his room. His munny pouches were left on the floor, but were otherwise untouched. They hadn't taken any of it. He supposed they were wealthy enough, but this very fact struck him as peculiar. What little else there was had been toppled, the mattress separated from its blanket, the tiny counter by his bed lying on its side. Roxas's room looked much the same. A savaged wasteland.

Everything but the rose.

The pink rose Kairi had given him that wonderful day in Central Park, the one he had hurried to place in a vase and place delicately upon his window when he had returned home remained in its glass vase, undamaged on the window sill. Sora stared at it. The scar on his chest flared painfully. He rubbed at it absently.

"Hey," he heard her call softly from behind, "I think we've got it all."

"Yeah," he said and turned to her. She had worked up a bit of a sweat, her hair matted down and her face flushed. She looked so beautiful. He had to look away.

"Are you going to talk to me?" she asked and she asked it so casually, as if she were asking about the weather, that he felt absolutely compelled to tell her everything.

So he did.

He told her about their initial foray into dealing with Riku, told her about Seifer and the gang, told her about the Organization, left out his mother, left out his own personal motivations, left out Tidus, informed her he suspected they were going to remove Riku and told her of his encounter with Larxene and Xaldin, of his proposition to hide Riku. He realized with an aching sense of disappointment that he was once again mixing truths and lies. Half-truths. That was what his life had become. The whole and full truth could never be told, he knew that now, knew it with certainty, for it would spell nothing short of disaster. Kairi listened to him speak, her eyes growing wider and wider until finally it seemed to fall short of phasing her and she sat with thin lips and a paling complexion and her hands clasped tightly together in her lap.

When he was through she got up and Sora was sure she was about to leave. Even the half-truth was too much, he thought with a dismal sense of self-deprecating irony. But she began to pace the room instead, lost deep in her own thoughts. He watched her move left to right and back again, her hands wrung out anxiously in front of her.

Finally, she stopped and turned to him. "You're sure that's what you heard? They got Riku?"

Sora nodded and looked down shamefully. "That's what they said. Then they just left."

Kairi pushed some loose hair out of her face and let out a shaky breath. "I knew it. I knew something like this was going to happen. God, why am I so stupid?"

Sora looked up at her, alarmed. "Kairi, this isn't your fault."

But she wasn't listening. She chewed hard on her lip and Sora was hard pressed to recall a time when she had ever looked deeper in despair. "I knew he was involved in all of this and I said nothing. Oh God, what if they kill him? What if – " she paused, unable to get the words out.

Sora stood and grabbed her shoulders. " _Listen_ to me. This is _not_ your fault. If anything, it's mine. We can still fix this. _I_ can still fix this."

"How?" she looked up at him, fear in her heart. "How can we save him?"

"I'm going to talk to them."

* * *

He stood shivering in the cold. A thick mist had descended over the East River and the world took on a ghostly appearance. Long abandoned warehouses groaned and creaked and Sora looked up at the thick sliding metal door he had entered not too long ago. Whence he had been initiated. Now he was risking everything.

Sora knew Larxene must be out here in the fog. Watching to see what he would do. He stood, making no moves. If they wanted him dead, now was the time to do it. He felt the cool blade press against the back of his neck and this time he felt no fear. He knew this world far better now.

"Poor idea," he could practically hear her grin. "Should have stayed at home like a good little boy."

"I want to speak to Demyx…or Axel," Sora kept his voice steady. "I want to talk to them now and I'm not leaving until I do."

He felt the knife push deeper into his skin. "You really think you're in a position to be making demands?" Larxene wondered.

"Now, now," he heard someone call out confidently in the winter haze, "I don't think we need to spill any _more_ blood today, do we?"

"Axel?" Sora called out. "Where's Riku?"

Axel materialized into view. He strolled over and planted himself in front of Sora, eyes flickering between Sora and Larxene almost as if he were immensely bored by the sight before him.

"You can put the knife down, Larxene," he said. Larxene growled but did as she was told.

"Where's Riku?" Sora asked again.

"Riku's on vacation," Axel said and Sora went cold at his words. "He's going to be staying with us for a while."

Axel gave the boy a once over. "Why don't you go on home?"

Sora hated it, the flippant look, the condescending voice. He so badly wanted to strangle the man in this moment. But there he was, held at knife point. He had only one question.

"Did you kill him?"

Axel's eyes gleamed in the winter air and the teardrop markings under his eyes seemed to shine.

"Go home, Sora."

He turned and retreated.

* * *

School was different. Without Riku, the ecosystem was left suspended in space. He had never been absent, Sora realized at once, and the seemingly innocuous epiphany floored him. He had carefully cultivated his stupendous persona over many years of carefully calibrated principles. One of those principles was his own constant presence. It was a deductive demonstration of his own prowess, designed to force those who resisted him into accepting him as a brute atomic fact. In that way, Sora supposed, Riku and Kairi were very similar.

He was everything. Now he was nothing.

Kairi sat next to him in History before class began, she appeared exhausted, with bloodshot eyes and bags drooping low beneath them.

"Did you get any sleep?" Sora asked, concern ratcheting up at the sight.

"I'm fine," she waved him off. "Did you talk to them?"

"I did," Sora said and he faced away, unable to meet her eyes.

"And?"

He shook his head. Kairi said nothing, preferring to weather her disappointment in silence.

"What do we do now?" she finally asked.

Sora was quiet. In a way, this was the decisive question. The fork in the road was laid out before them and he knew there was no turning back, whatever the choice. Do nothing. Forget about it. But was it not already too late? Had he not already gone too far? Regardless of Riku's current status, there was little doubt as to what would soon follow.

"There's someone we can go to."

* * *

Tidus ushered them into his ramshackle home, all too pleased with their presence. He lived in a dusty apartment just underneath the Brooklyn Bridge. Sora glanced at the sparkling East River before heading up the stairs. He wondered how many lonely souls, in their sadness and desperation, had followed his same path and ended up in that river. Gone and forgotten. He thought of Riku floating face down in that river and shivered.

They gathered in the tiny living room, a single window filtering in the gray light of that overcast day. They fell into chairs and Sora leaned forward, hands on his knees, unsure of where to begin. Tidus looked at him expectantly. He was awaiting the good news. Sora figured he'd give it to him.

"Riku is gone." Tidus could hardly contain his excitement, his eyes lit up and a smile broke out over his face. "Okay," he said, licking his lips. "The Organization got him?"

Before Sora could say anything, Kairi spoke up. "He was your friend."

Tidus turned to her, thrown off balance by her comment.

"He was your friend," Kairi repeated. "How could you be happy about this?"

 _Was_. The word rang in Sora's mind. Were they really referring to him in the past tense now? Was there nothing left but to presume him dead? For the first time since they had met, Sora could see that Tidus was uncomfortable. He squirmed in his seat, trying to find the right words.

"Go ahead, say something," Kairi spoke angrily. "I wanna hear this. What do you get out of this?"

"It's nothing personal," Tidus said, suddenly finding the wall very interesting. "He's a means to an end, you know?"

"No. I _don't_ know," Kairi grit her teeth and her eyes flashed dangerously. "Go ahead and explain."

Tidus sighed and looked at Sora, as if expecting some kind of assistance. When he saw it was not forthcoming, he launched into his story.

"I needed him gone so they would put me in instead," he said and looked at Sora. "I was going to ask you to give up the job and give it to me once they got rid of Riku so I could get into the Organization."

"You son of a bitch," Kairi growled and stood. Tidus leaned back nervously and Sora placed a hand on her arm. She swiveled her head to look at him and Sora mouthed ' _Sit down_ '. She pursed her lips angrily but nevertheless sat. Sora prayed that he wouldn't mention their talk at the party.

"Listen, it's not like I _want_ to join them. I _have_ to," Tidus said defensively.

"Why?" Sora leaned forward.

Tidus seemed to deliberate with himself and then finally continued. "Do you see where I'm living?" he gestured widely. "This is all because of them. Because of what they've done to this neighborhood."

"What have they done to this neighborhood?" Sora asked.

Tidus shook his head, as if all the words in the world could not do it justice. "Looted it, I guess you could say. They run a massive protection racket, drive everyone so far up into debt that they have no choice but to stay dependent on them. They get the kids around here when they're young. It's a total fucking mess. My dad, he – " Tidus stopped and Sora saw his eyes grow misty.

"They did the same to him and he couldn't take it and he killed himself," he said it all in a rush. Perhaps there was no other way; the past was too painful, Sora had come to discover. For everyone, the past was like a ghost, haunting the edges of life and following you unto death. All of these popular kids, he now knew, were popular because they were haunted.

"Why didn't you ever tell us?" Kairi questioned and Sora could hear the genuine confusion in her voice. Secrets. Secrets. Secrets.

Tidus shrugged. "Who would have listened?" Maybe he meant it as a joke, but Sora could tell it was a half

 _(truth)_

joke at best.

Kairi pressed on, perhaps it was less painful that way. "What does getting rid of Riku have to do with this?" she asked.

"I wanted to hurt them from the inside," Tidus said simply. "I did some good messing with their supply routes. The routes they use to import their drugs into Brooklyn. It's all coming from Manhattan," he looked at Sora, "maybe you remember some of their shortages."

"You don't have to hurt Riku to do that," Kairi protested.

Tidus raised an eyebrow. "I didn't want to hurt him. I'm just saying…he's been doing their dirty work for what…years?" he held his hands up, "he knew what was going on here and he never said a thing. Am I glad he's not their boy anymore? Yeah. Am I glad he's _gone?_ " he shrugged. "Can't say that I am, but it is what it is."

Silence filled the air. They sat, each considering the other's words, perhaps even contemplating the disparate paths that had led them to this discussion.

"Can you help us?" Kairi all but whispered.

Tidus looked at her sadly. "You know he's probably – "

"Don't," Kairi interrupted. "I asked if you'll help us."

"Help you go to war with the Organization? Sure. It's what I've been doing all along, anyway."

Sora had been staring anxiously at the floor, tracing the cracks in the boards with his eyes, but when he heard their exchange he looked up in surprise.

"Hold on," he said and they both turned to him, "I thought we were just talking about getting Riku back."

"That's what we're doing," Kairi asserted.

"It's a part of it," Tidus said and Sora knew he was throwing Kairi a bone. "But if everything you've told me is true, then you're in danger too. You pissed them off, you're a liability now. It won't be long until they decide you're next. Probably just waiting to find someone to cover your job."

Kairi seemed perturbed by the very prospect. Sora looked pointedly away from them. The words sounding off in his mind.

 _You're next. You're next._

"How do we stop them?" he asked.

"You're going to have to go underground, basically. No more pickups or drop-offs from Demyx, you can't go back home, can't go to school…" Tidus rattled off as if reading from a list. Sora found himself being driven deeper down into another layer of despair the more Tidus spoke.

"You can't be serious," Sora said. "I have a life…I can't just throw it all away. What am I gonna tell Roxas? What if they come for him?"

"It's a possibility," Tidus nodded. "But hopefully we can do something about this before it gets to that point."

"Like what?" Sora asked, and the weight of what they were entertaining suddenly bore down on him as if by divine revelation. "These people have been here for years. You can't seriously expect to drive them out? We're kids, you realize that? Kids. We don't have numbers, we don't have weapons, we don't have anything. Can't go to the police without blowing up our lives. We can't fight."

"But we can," Tidus spoke. "But we have to act fast. We can't let up. You're already in it now, both of you," he looked between them. "We can beat them."

" _How?_ "

"Well…" Tidus looked at Sora thoughtfully, "They took one of ours. So we'll just have to take one of theirs."

* * *

Sora and Kairi walked the streets, quiet amongst themselves. He hadn't looked at her since they had left Tidus's apartment, didn't even know what to say to her. He couldn't begin to imagine what she was thinking, feeling. He wasn't quite sure how he himself was feeling.

"Do you think it'll work?" she spoke up; he could hear how nervous she was. He didn't blame her. He felt it himself.

Sora resisted the urge to face her. "I don't know," he admitted honestly.

Kairi looked out at the East River, roiling in the late afternoon breeze. "Do you think he's…?"

Sora said nothing. What was there to say? Riku was gone. That was all there was to it.

Kairi took his hand in her own and he closed his eyes briefly, knew that this was going somewhere else. She tugged him to a halt and reluctantly he looked at her.

"I won't let it happen to you too," she said with such heartfelt conviction, her eyes blazing, that he felt his chest constricting in not altogether painful ways.

"We're in this together," she offered a gentle smile and he returned it, but inside he felt remorse at how it had all panned out, at how she had been dragged into it too.

"Kairi…" he wasn't sure what he was trying to say, but he went on anyway, "if things get bad…can you promise me that you'll…" he trailed off. He didn't know.

"It's already bad, Sora," she reminded him softly, as if he was a leaf that would blow away in the winter weather. "I think it's always been bad. But we can do something now. We can change things."

Sora nodded and hand in hand they continued on towards Carroll Gardens. This was nice, he thought. A little slice of paradise.

"Listen…" she spoke up and he realized how much he hated the word, "About what happened at the party…"

Sora shook his head fiercely. "Forget it."

"No – listen," she insisted and Sora fell quiet. She too seemed unsure of how to continue and he let her take her time.

"I'm not sorry it happened," she finally whispered. Sora looked at her in surprise. Kairi kept her gaze straight forward.

He squeezed her hand and she reciprocated.

* * *

Roxas was home when he arrived. Sora stepped cautiously into the apartment, as if expecting a bomb to go off at his next move. Roxas was digging through one of their cabinets, he looked up when he heard Sora enter.

"Hey," he nodded at Sora, "you seen my glass with the ears?"

Sora shook his head. Roxas let out an exasperated grunt and stepped back. "We're missing a bunch of stuff. Was someone else here?" he asked.

Sora plopped down on the couch. "Haven't been here all day. I don't think so."

"The door's all messed up. Did you see it? Like it's been knocked off its hinges."

Sora looked at the door, trying not to remember how it had happened.

"Strange," Sora remarked and Roxas started to gather kitchenware. "I think someone broke in," Roxas noted.

"We'll tell Yen about it," Sora suggested. Roxas nodded.

"I'm gonna try my hand at some pot roast. Want some?"

"Sure," Sora agreed. "Naminé teach you that too?"

Roxas shrugged. "I've been practicing. It's pretty therapeutic."

"Right," Sora lay back along the length of the couch and stared at the ceiling, letting the day's events pass through his mind.

"How's your job at the…uh…" Sora was embarrassed to realize how much of his brother's current day-to-day activities were unknown to him.

 _Suppose that makes two of us._

"Pete's," Roxas filled it in for him. "Pete gave me a job; I stock up in the back. It's pretty good."

"Oh, good," Sora felt himself begin to doze. He was tired. So tired.

"He said you could come by anytime and work too…I think that'd be good, y'know. We could use the munny."

The world was fading. Things coming to their natural halt once again. Roxas was yapping somewhere off in the distance, but here it was just him. Sleep comes for all. The big sleep never too far off. Sora supposed he would risk that big sleep, just this once, so he may take comfort in the little one just one last time.

* * *

Someone knocks on Kairi's door and she starts, looking up at it with bated breath. She's seated against her bed facing the door,

"Yeah?" she calls out.

"Can I come in?" comes Naminé's soft voice. Kairi breathes out a sigh of relief.

"Come in," she says and Naminé peers into the room, as if expecting something scandalous to present itself. She takes a seat on Kairi's bed and the two girls wait for the other to say something. The room is dark and a candle flickers atop a desk along the far wall. Yellow shapes dance and Kairi shivers.

"What is it?" Kairi prompts. She waits.

"Do you miss it?" Naminé finally asks.

"Do I miss what?"

"Home."

Kairi knows what she means. She looks down and flexes her toes.

"Of course I do."

Kairi hears her sister sniffling and looks up at her. A tear runs down her cheek and Kairi resists the urge to wipe it away. She looks at her sister with sympathetic eyes. Inside. Outside. The feelings are all the same.

"What's wrong, Nams?" she asks and her own voice begins to choke up.

"I can't remember it," Naminé says. "I woke up this morning and I couldn't remember what the Islands looked like."

"Naminé…" Kairi sighs.

"All our friends…Ventus, Wakka, Selphie…they're fading too. I miss them."

Kairi looks at her, face scrunched in confusion. "We go to school with them, Naminé."

Naminé looks at her for a long while and Kairi stares back. She watched the different emotions playing out along her sister's face. Sadness. Confusion. Recognition.

"I – I know," she says, but her voice wavers. "I know that."

She gets up and leaves. Kairi watches her go and her own tears begin to flow.

* * *

A buzzing awakened him in the dead of night. The apartment was dark, blue moonlight shone through the windows. He stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out his phone. A text from Tidus.

 _Outside._

Sora looked at it, his head still heavy with sleep. He listened for Roxas, sleeping soundly in his room. It was time to go. So soon. Too soon. He steals away down the steps and out into open air. It's much colder at night. He wondered how long it'd be until Christmas. He should have checked the date.

Tidus was parked a little way down the street. Sora spied the tiny white van and moved up to it. Tidus rolled down the passenger window and flashed Sora an almost strained smile.

"You ready for this?"

Sora said nothing and entered the van. They drove off down the street. Sora looked into the back of the vehicle, saw the cords, the stool, the stacked cases of water. He turned forward in his seat.

"I'd prefer nobody got hurt," he said.

Tidus glanced at him. "I think we'd all prefer that."

They rode in silence the rest of the way. When they had arrived in Red Hook Tidus parked the van along the sidewalk and together they waited, watching the docks.

"Who's it going to be?" Sora asked.

"You'll see," Tidus replied.

Minutes passed. Then an hour. Sora was beginning to doze again when Tidus shook him back to awareness.

"What?"

"Look," Tidus pointed forward. Sora peered into the darkness and saw, against the backdrop of the still night river, a figure draped in black crossing the sidewalk.

"Who is it?"

" _Axel._ "

Tidus revved the engine and the van roared to life, headlights illuminating Axel's cloaked frame. The man with flaming hair turned, a look of surprise crossing his face. The van streamed forward and something else flit across his expression. Fear.

Smiling came easy to Sora.


	20. Escalation

**_i just wanna thank the people who have followed/reviewed/favorited and who just generally take the time to read this, you guys/gals make it all worth it_**

* * *

They got to work in the thick silence. He was hurt, Sora thought they'd killed him, but when they stepped out of the van he could see the man writhing and groaning on the concrete sidewalk. Tidus rifled through his pockets and Sora watched him coolly. The only thing he had was a lighter and when Tidus snatched it from his pocket the man looked up, his eyes clouded over in pain and confusion.

"Stop…"

Tidus tossed the lighter to Sora, who caught it in his hand and looked down at it, as if weighing its very history. Axel recognized them now, he could see the confusion turning to fury. But there was concern in his eyes as he looked at the lighter in the palm of Sora's hand.

"Sora…" he groaned and moved to stand before promptly falling back on the ground. Sora remembered his looks, his words, the calculated gestures of disdain and patronization. He was almost reminded of Riku, but he stifled the thought before it could blossom.

Sora tossed the lighter into the river and Axel watched it soar and descend with a distinct _plop!_ into the river on that most silent of nights. His eyes clouded over in defeat. The two boys descended on the injured man. They hauled him into the back of the van. The thick orange cord went around his waist and secured him tightly to the stool. Tidus shut the doors and together they stood before Axel, who looked up at them drowsily, his head wavering from side to side.

"Where's Riku?" Sora asked and Axel's curved upwards in the smallest of smiles. "What did you do with him?"

"You're making a mistake," Axel murmured and Tidus smashed a fist across his face. The man's head flung back and now blood flowed freely from his split lip, trickling down his chin. Tidus moved into the front seat and started the van. They moved out across the borough, stopping only in an area under an overpass in Sunset Parks, secluded even deeper within the darkness of the night.

"We should get Kairi," Tidus murmured.

"No," Sora shook his head. "I don't want her in this."

Tidus looked at him smartly. "She's in this whether you like it or not."

Sora did not respond. "Let's just do this," he said.

"Your friend is dead," Axel called out from the back of the van and Sora had to stop himself from calling back: _He's not my friend._

"C'mon," Tidus nodded towards the back and together they returned to Axel. He was regaining his bearings, coming to understand just what had happened.

"I think you assholes broke my leg," he mumbled distastefully, wincing in pain as he shuffled around in the stool.

"A lot more than that is going to break if you don't tell us what we wanna know," Tidus warned.

"And _what_ would you like to know?" Axel retorted, the sarcasm oozing from his voice. Tidus whacked him upside the head and Axel was stopped from attempting to lunge at him only by his injured leg, which Sora now saw was bent at an extremely peculiar angle.

"I want to know everything," Tidus said, "Who you really work for, structure, hierarchy, where your headquarters is, your people in the school, everything."

"Oh," Axel half chuckled half coughed, "Such big words for a little tyke like you. Your mom still whoring it up on sixth?"

Tidus grabbed him forcefully by the head and pulled him close. "Don't you _ever_ talk about my mother."

Sora eyed them nervously. Just outside he could hear someone hooting joyously and glass shattering in the distance. A car drove slowly nearby. Someone could come by, someone could hear them, this could get out of control.

Tidus slammed his fist into Axel's face again and the injured boy coughed and spluttered; blood ran from his nose and he wheezed.

"I'll never betray them in a million years. So you better just get on with it now because they're coming for you after this," he set his hardened gaze upon Sora and he grinned, "They know everything about you kid."

Sora looked on warily and said nothing.

"That's fine," Tidus offered a smirk of his own and he pulled something from his pocket. Sora stared at it, trying to discern what it was in the cramped darkness.

"You like fire, don't you?" Tidus questioned and Axel's eyes flashed. It was a cattle prod, Sora realized. A cattle prod. Sora reached out and grabbed Tidus by the arm.

"Outside."

Tidus cocked his head in confusion and flashed him an annoyed look. "What?"

"Need to talk to you," Sora said and motioned towards the back doors. Tidus grumbled but followed after delivering another punch to the restrained man.

Hands on his hips, Sora studied their surroundings, studied the damp darkness of the street, the stars peeking out beyond the overpass. Wondered what he could say, wondered if they had not made a mistake.

"What's the endgame here?" he asked and Tidus gripped his prod ever more tightly.

"I think you know," Tidus answered. Sora shook his head.

"He's right, though. This is only going to make things worse."

Tidus scowled. "Have you been living the same week I have?"

"He's not going to talk. He's not going to tell us anything useful."

"That's fine," Tidus hummed. "He's not going to tell them anything useful either."

"You can't seriously be thinking about…killing him."

"Oh, I am," Tidus waved the cattle prod around and Sora took notice of the ferocity of his movements. "This is called a _show of force_ , Sora. We have to show them we're serious. That we're not going to lie down anymore."

"That _you're_ not going to lie down anymore," Sora remarked and Tidus clenched his jaw.

"Why did you agree to this if you don't want to go through with it?" Tidus asked testily.

"You didn't say anything about murder."

"I figured it was implicit. You know Riku is dead."

"Maybe," Sora concurred, "But maybe there's a better way."

" _This_ is the only way," Tidus held out his prod. "Bleed them dry."

"You're enjoying this," Sora noted.

"Aren't you?"

Sora kept silent and Tidus, seeing that he had no more questions to answer, opened up the van again. "When you're in it, you're in it. You can keep guard outside if you'd like," he said. Sora caught a glimpse of Axel, face bloodied and matching the color of his hair, leg painfully distorted, his eyes turning slowly up to meet his and as Sora looked into his vacant stare for the last time he felt for the briefest of moments something painful pierce the veil of his heart.

 _You're Nobody. You're Nothing._

The doors slammed shut.

* * *

The sun rises and she is restless. Kairi, head nestled comfortably in her pillow, watches the sky brightening just outside her window. Her chest thuds hard, almost painfully. She thinks of the previous day. Thinks of all the previous days. Excitement, fear, worry. She thinks of Riku and checks to ensure she remembers earlier days and better times. She does, thankfully.

Naminé is already awake, humming softly in the shower down the hall. Sometimes Kairi can hear her singing to herself when she thinks nobody is listening and wonders why she never joined drama. She doesn't like to see potential go to waste.

Kairi shakes herself of her musings. It's another day. Another day in the Gardens, another day in Brooklyn. She rises and stifles a yawn with her hand. She examines herself in the mirror, bending back a little. Curvy, she smiles tiredly.

Pushing the discussions of the day prior out of her mind, she gathers up her clothes. One foot in front of the other. Words to live by.

Kairi steps down the hall and knocks on the bathroom door.

"Nam, you almost done in there?"

No response.

"Naminé?" she calls again.

"Yeah?" her sister calls out over the roar of the showerhead.

"I said are you almost done?"

The shower goes silent and she can hear Naminé stepping out. "Yes, you can have it."

Shower. Makeup. Breakfast. The internal routine does not, cannot, change. External spoilers be damned. Mom and Dad don't have much to say. When do they ever? They eat in silence.

"You girls be careful now," their mother calls from somewhere. It's routine, almost ritualistic. The same goodbye mantra that has not changed for over a decade. If only she knew just how pertinent those words were now, Kairi thinks, and she takes a moment to breathe, to let out the lingering bitterness. It's time for school.

She sighs and together the two girls depart. They arrive at the corner bus stop and await their transportation. The brightening sky has reached its peak and now it lies hidden above darkened clouds. Kairi looks about them, attempting to conceal the anxiousness fighting to present itself on her face and sees nothing out of the ordinary. The bus arrives and they take their usual seats. There is hardly anybody aboard and Kairi watches the borough pass by in silence.

Bright smiles and cheery greetings make themselves known as they arrive at Brooklyn High. She smiles back and titters and feigns interest in the latest dramatic happenings among her peers. She stands on her toes, looks over the heads of the crowd in the halls in the vain hope that she might catch a glimpse of the one person she's looking for. She sighs and turns her attention back to Selphie when she cannot find him.

The day passes slowly. Kairi finds herself glancing at the clock more and more as her teachers drone on and on and on and she shuffles restlessly in her seat. A cold sweat has broken out upon her and she doodles on the margins of her notebook in hopes that time might just run a little faster. God, how she hates time.

Lunch is different. She sets herself down at their table where the others have already gathered. Naminé, Tidus, Wakka, Selphie, Aqua. They sit, looking around at each other as if they have been roused from the longest sleep. There is a gaping hole where there shouldn't be. She catches Tidus's gaze and quickly looks away.

"Is Riku sick or something?" Selphie turns to Kairi, worrying her lip. "He's never absent."

Kairi wonders how difficult it might be to conjure up some outlandish story and then realizes it's just not worth it.

"I don't know," she deflates. "I haven't spoken to him since the party."

"Oh," Selphie puckers her lips. They say no more.

She scans the room. Tries to find him. He doesn't come to lunch much anymore, she knows that. Too much had happened in this room. It was funny, in a way. Shameful acts leave shameful victims. She looks to Roxas's table, where he sits munching on his lunch with his friends. Wonders just what had happened between him and his brother to turn their relationship into one of perpetual tension. She recalls that first day, as Sora lay splayed out across the floor along with the contents of his lunch. Foolish of her to think he might have taken refuge there, either then or now. There's enough shame to go around, Kairi thinks.

Something in the back of her mind bristles at the scene before her. That empty spot at the table where she had sat since their very first day as uncertain freshmen hot off the boat from Destiny Islands. She remembers Riku, how cool and confident he had been, leading her and Naminé through the cramped corridors with a hand on her back as the people around them stared and whispered. They were beautiful people. They were treated like royalty. There was no other alternative. He had just wanted to protect them and somewhere along the way things had gone awry. Maybe things had always been.

She turns to Aqua, staring down at the unappetizing food on her tray with a skeptical look and her eyes flicker down to the bruise on her arm. Kairi thinks of her own bruises. Her own scars. This was the price they paid for being who they were.

Vanitas saunters up to them and eyes their table. Cockily, he sits down in Riku's place and everyone turns their eyes to him.

"What's going on, team?" he asks and half grins at them all, tufts of spiky black hair waving in the air conditioned room, his gaze lingering particularly on Aqua. Nobody answers him.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongues?" he chews lazily at his own. His eyes roaming and coming to rest hungrily on Naminé. Kairi feels a chill. He looks so much like Sora and she hates it.

"What do you want?" Wakka asks.

Vanitas shrugs. "Just thought I'd stop by. Seems like you guys need a real morale booster, huh?" he laughs. "See you around," he gives them a mock salute and disappears deeper into the cafeteria.

They were vulnerable now. Yes, they were vulnerable.

* * *

Kairi looks forward to History. She hopes that he'll be there and in this hope she identifies something more primal. She has never truly appreciated just how _much_ she looks forward to seeing him. She doesn't know what she'll say, but she just hopes to say something. She takes a seat and looks eagerly and with great interest towards the door whenever someone walks in.

The bell rings. He doesn't come.

School is over. The children file out of their classrooms and out towards the entrance. She knows something is wrong. She can feel it. She searches for her new target and finds him, grabs him and pulls him to the side. Tidus looks at her with surprised eyes.

"Where is he?" she demands.

"I don't know," he responds and in his eyes Kairi can see something that looks like hesitance.

"Yes you do," she states. Her eyes suddenly widen as a new thought crosses her mind, something more terrible than she had yet considered. "They didn't…?"

Tidus shakes his head furiously. "No. At least…not from when I last saw him."

"Which was when?"

"Last night."

She furrows her brows in confusion. "What were you doing last night?"

Tidus rubs his side nervously. "We did the thing…you know, that we said we were gonna do."

Kairi's eyes widen. "Oh." Then the realization hits her. "Why didn't you _call_ me?!"

"Sora didn't want to," Tidus says and then shrugs. "Sorry."

Anger hits her in waves. She could have been there. Could have asked questions. "What happened?" she questions furiously.

"Nothing really," Tidus says. "He didn't give us anything at all."

"Who was it?" she asks.

"Nobody you know."

Now it's the turn of resignation to overwhelm her. "How did you…how did he…"

Tidus shakes his head. "Doesn't matter. He's gone now."

Kairi's eyes widen. "What do you mean gone?"

"Sora kept watch outside. I handled the rest," Tidus says simply. That was enough, she supposed.

"So…he's okay?" she asks and she can't help the relief that floods her voice.

Tidus gives her a knowing smile. "He's fine, as far as I know."

Kairi nods distractedly and turns to leave. "Thanks," she mumbles.

* * *

She approaches the projects and her breath catches in her throat, cold air filling her lungs and hovering there. She thinks back to all the times she'd been in his apartment and wonders why this time somehow feels different. She wonders what she expects to find there. She knows the stakes now, knows what he, and by extension her, have gotten themselves into. Their doorman gives her a friendly nod and she offers a small smile herself. She climbs the steps, knocks on the door, and waits.

Roxas opens the door and his eyes light up in bemused interest. "Hey Kairi," he greets.

"Hi," she nods. "Is – um – is Sora around?"

Roxas moves aside to let her in and shakes his head. "Nah, haven't seen him since yesterday actually. He wasn't in school?"

Kairi decides not to dwell on how much attention Roxas actually pays to his brother. She sees the bags under his eyes, much like the ones she herself has tried to paper over with makeup. Everyone's got something, she supposed.

"He wasn't," she affirms.

Roxas rubs his head. "Oh…well, that's weird." He leans against the wall. "He's not…in trouble, is he?" he asks.

Kairi feels her heart bursting in her chest. "N-No!" she stutters. "He's just…you know…Sora."

Roxas doesn't appear to catch on to her sudden display of nerves. He chuckles and palms the side of his head. "Yeah, I know," he says wistfully. They're quiet for a minute before he decides to speak again. "Sometimes…sometimes I wish…"

"What?" Kairi presses.

"I wish I'd handled things differently with him," he admits and she sees him bite his cheek hard. "Sometimes I feel like I don't take enough time to understand…where he's coming from. Y'know?"

Kairi nods.

"He may be only three months younger than me, but he's my baby brother," Roxas says. "I wish I could have given him something better than this."

"It's not your fault, Roxas," Kairi placates. "None of this is."

He gives her a weary smile. "Then why does it feel like it is?"

* * *

Sora sat on the pier, legs suspended before the blackness of the river separating him from the city. He sighed as he watched the urban skyline stretched out before him. A bustling city of millions. Women and men. Everyone living their own little life. He gazed down at the river and rubbed his hands together. As above, so below. Now someone else had disappeared under those impenetrable depths. Another one for the fire. Another one for the water.

Sora stood and dragged himself away from the pier. It was something of a comfort to him; a place where he could be reminded that there was something fresh, something whole and unblemished by the everydayness of ordinary lives, nay, something even enhanced by it; and it was just across the river. And yet, that safety net of a skyline has receded ever further from reach. Life wasn't so mundane anymore.

It wasn't long before he found himself haunting the old corners. How long had it been? Weeks? Months? The new year was steadily approaching. He twisted and turned through familiar streets, stepped along dusty sidewalks and squinted at graffiti-marked brick walls. Sounds and sights and all the sensation in the perceptual world could drive away all of the terrifying prospects that both past and future conspired to meld together into one awful present.

Sora heard the two girls before they saw him. Impassioned debate, heated argument, he strained to listen.

"-always there, he's never missed a day."

"Why don't you just ask Tidus?"

"I haven't seen him in _days_ , Yuff. He probably doesn't know anything anyway."

"Look, I'm sure he'll turn up. So he's late one day, what does it even matter?"

"I'm telling you, he's _never_ late. He…he promised he'd never leave me hanging like that."

"I think you're – oh, Sora?"

The girls turned in their seats on the stoop to look at him and Sora smiled and raised a hand.

"Xion. Yuffie," he greeted gently. "How are you?"

The girls didn't seem to know what to say. They blanched. He didn't expect his appearance to be that surprising but they quickly recovered and returned wary smiles.

"Hey Sora," Yuffie said, making a very conscious effort to maintain her usual flair. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Yeah," Sora agreed and sat down on the armrest beside them. He stared out ahead at the empty streets, comfortable smile still gracing his face. The two girls flashed each other confused looks.

"What's up?" Yuffie asked and Xion rubbed her knees nervously.

Sora was silent, taking in the world around them and he breathed in deeply. "Well, I was wondering the same thing, honestly," he said. The girls looked at him warily.

"Neighborhood's really gone to shit, hasn't it?" he remarked.

"I think it's always been like this," Yuffie replied, though a smirk was dancing on her face.

"Yeah," Xion mumbled her assent. The three sat in a silence that grew more awkward each second. Xion studied Sora and seemed to arrive at a decision.

"Sora," she said and Sora turned to look at her. "Um…maybe I shouldn't be asking this, but…you've been working with the Organization, right?"

Sora was quiet, seemed to weigh his response, but inside the gears were already turning. He nodded. "I have been. So have you, right?"

Xion nodded and looked away, chewing on her lip. She really did look so much like Kairi, he noted for what surely was not the first time.

"It's different with us though…I mean…we don't…see them," she finished somewhat lamely. Sora considered her words.

"Are you sure?" he asked her and Xion's expression turned into something fearful.

"Well…that's kind of what I wanted to ask…" she murmured. "You've seen the one with red hair, right? His name is Axel?"

"Right…yeah, I've seen him," Sora let his face fall.

Xion became alarmed at the sudden change in demeanor. "What? What is it?"

Sora looked away. "Was he a friend of yours?"

Xion was quiet for a time. Yuffie pretended to pay attention to her shoes.

"He was my friend," Xion whispered. "He didn't show up to meet me today."

Sora remembered a time when the very same girl had told him that she had never seen other Organization members. He was a rookie back then. Out of his depth, uncertain. Maybe he still was. But he knew better now. Much better.

Affecting a powerful hesitance, he halted, looked at the sky, the two hung on his every exhalation.

"Something happened last night," he said at last and now Yuffie turned from her superficial distractions and they both stared at the boy on the stoop.

"What?" Xion asked and she was almost too afraid to go on. "What happened?"

"They caught him trying to leave, don't know where to," he snuck a glance at Xion and saw the horror filling her baby blue eyes, "they stuck him in a van."

Xion stood and grasped him by the shoulders. "What did they do to him?!"

"They shot him," Sora answered and Xion took a shuddering step back. "They dumped his body in the river. I'm sorry."

"No…" a tear trickled down her cheek and Sora turned his gaze back onto the trash-strewn street. "Why?" she whispered.

"They're animals," Sora responded. "I should go," he said and stood to leave.

"Wait," Xion called after him. "You're just going to let them get away with it?"

"What am I supposed to do?" he shrugged. "You said it yourself, we just work for them."

The grief, anger, and confusion working itself on Xion's face seemed to rival even that he had seen from Roxas. "I-"

"C'mon, Xi," Yuffie placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "You heard him. Just – Just let it go."

"I can't," Xion growled and her jaw worked furiously. "I can't let it go. I'm sick of it. I'm so sick of it. Riku too. Did they-?"

Sora nodded. He wondered just what had occurred between Xion and Axel. He wondered if Axel hadn't in fact been at the street fair that day to see her. Their history. So many histories. Theirs was a sum over all possible paths that were now steadily converging. And he would be its midwife. He would see it through. He had to see it through.

It didn't matter now. All that mattered was what remained. The wreckage that he could pick up and piece together.

"We can do something about it," Sora spoke and the two girls looked up at him, eyes filled with fear and reticence and maybe hope.

He held out his hand to them. "Why don't you come with me?"


	21. Suppression

_**I'm sorry this one took a little (lot) longer to get out. Semester workload got a little heavier but I am committed to sticking to my schedule**_

* * *

Three figures, ensconced in shadows, slipped silently through desecrated streets. Brilliant blue sky morphed into a volatile meld of violet and orange. Cumulus formations, drifting steadily through the air, cast deep shadows across the low rises and lowlier streets. The waning day was bitter and cold, the world weighted by an encroaching sense of mystery. They approached the run-down apartments and entered an alleyway, halting at the broken gate that led to the backdoor staircase.

Somewhere bound, Sora thought wryly. He willed himself to keep his face straight. There was now, deep within the byzantine architecture of his cognitive capacities, the beginnings of an incipient coherence to all. He chanced a glance back at the two girls standing close behind. Determination, uncertainty, and a little bit of fear. He could work with that.

They climbed the steps and Sora halted outside of the apartment door. He motioned for the girls to stop and put his ear to the door. He listened to the muffled shuffling emanating from the room. He squinted, as if by some unfathomable inversion he could witness sound. He huffed and turned back to them.

"Be ready for anything," he warned. Yuffie nodded. Xion merely looked on. Sora knocked on the door. Three loud raps. The noises inside stopped and everyone held their breath.

"It's me," he called. "It's Sora."

"Sora?" he heard his name repeated back to him. The door opened and Tidus stuck his head out, looking from him to the girls behind him, his eyes widening at the sight of them. "What's going on?" he asked warily.

"It's alright," Sora said. "They're with us now."

"They are?" Tidus opened up his door and ushered them inside. There was no small talk, no chit-chat. They pulled chairs wherever they found them and huddled together in the center of the room.

"Nice place," Yuffie remarked, her eyes wandering across the pockmarked walls of the room.

"Thanks," Tidus muttered, his face retaining some semblance of bemused befuddlement.

"The Organization killed Axel," Sora asserted and he looked straight into Tidus's eyes, as if he could instill some truth in him simply by virtue of unwavering sight. Tidus furrowed his brow in confusion, head tilting to the side.

"What-?"

"The Organization killed him," Sora repeated. Tidus straightened in his seat. "We're sick of the murder."

"We don't want a part in it anymore," Xion said, her voice, reserved in volume, unable to conceal the anger roiling within her.

"Yeah," Yuffie affirmed, although her expression betrayed her affected certainty.

"Okay," Tidus said, releasing a short breath. He looked from Sora to the others and his confusion dissipated into neutrality. "Good. We thought we were on our own."

"Not anymore," Xion shook her head fiercely. Her eyes traced the contours of their gathering and they darkened dangerously. "We're taking our streets back."

Sora noted her conviction. He didn't know the specifics of her relationship with Axel, but sitting there in that moment he gathered that it had been something profound and special. He felt the acute beat of his heart and that _damned_ scar burned across the length of his chest once again. He winced and covered it up with a cough. Evening light filtered into the room through the curtained windows and cast a winter glow over the proceedings.

"That's good," Tidus nodded. "That's really good."

"When did you become a turncoat?" Yuffie asked him half-seriously.

Tidus fixed his gaze on her. "Probably around the same time you did," he said.

"Forget about the when. What are we going to do about all this?" Xion demanded. Silence filled the room and they stared at each other. The headlights of a passing car illuminated the wall and patterns flickered and danced upon it.

"What can you tell us about their day-to-day operations?" Sora asked them. "You've all been in it longer than I have. The names of the people you work with, people we might know, where their product is stored, anything useful like that."

"Riku usually handled all that stuff," Tidus said, before adding, "I only know the routes they take to deliver the stuff to drop-off points."

Sora rubbed his chin. "We don't have a Riku," he murmured.

"He was their guy," Tidus slumped in his seat.

"I always got the stuff from Demyx," Sora said. "They're careful."

Xion pursed her lips and kept her eyes trained on the wooden floor. Deep in thought.

"I know a place," she perked up and the others turned to her. "Axel took me along a couple of times."

"What is it?" Sora pressed.

"It's a place in Red Hook. A storage place a couple blocks away from the warehouses. I wasn't there long, but I think that's what they use to offload shipments…so they don't have to risk getting it over the bridge," she looked at Sora, "they've got a bunch of people working there."

"Armed? How many guards?" he questioned.

"From what I saw, not many. Four or five at the most," Xion shrugged. "I guess they're pretty confident."

"Could you take us there?" Sora asked.

Xion drew in a breath. "I could," she said. "What do you want to do?"

Sora was quiet and he wrung his hands together. He looked at the luminescent curtains, the setting sun turning them almost neon in their orange hue. He felt the warmth hitting his face and his arms and he turned to the black-haired girl. "You know nobody can know that you're doing this," he said.

"Yeah…" Xion's eyes narrowed in confusion.

Sora studied her. "Are you willing to do what it takes to see this through?"

Xion drew back, the question unexpected. She stared at him and Yuffie looked at her with some emotion that still seemed so unfamiliar on that face to Sora. Nervousness.

"Yeah," Xion spoke at last. "I am."

"They started this thing," Sora said and now the gathered troupe understood he was speaking to all of them.

"They started it when they decided people had to go. So now they have to go."

The rest of them nodded; some reluctance, but the consensus was complete.

"Let's go scout the place," Sora said, "and then we'll decide what to do." They stood and filed out of the room, the two girls leading the charge out of the room. Sora moved to follow them out when he felt a hand grip his shoulder.

"That was some impressive showmanship," Tidus appraised, his voice restrained and hardly above a whisper. "Didn't know you had it in you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

Sora left the room.

* * *

He dragged his feet on the long way back to the apartment. The stars twinkled in the night sky. He chanced a glance behind him. The streets were desolate. Cars hummed in the distance and a feline apparition scampered across the road. He entered the building and carried himself up the stairs. A heavy weight had fallen upon him, his shoulders slackened with an incorporeal burden hovering just beyond the reach of all sense and reason.

The apartment was dark and silent when he entered. Roxas asleep or out or God knows where, he shuddered at the cold damp air filtering in through unknown spaces. He sighed and entered his room, kicking off his shoes and laying himself down upon his cot, content to rest in the warmth of his day clothes.

He felt something shift next to him and he shot up, heart exploding in his chest.

"Hey, hey," a soft voice spoke through the darkness and he felt a hand palm his chest.

"Kairi?" he looked down at the black bulge slowly coming into form beside him.

"It's just me," she said, shifting herself up into a sitting position beside him. "I waited for you."

"I-I-"

"Shhh," she put a finger to his lips. "It's alright, Sora."

He took a shaky breath and sought to calm his haywire heart. "Sorry," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"You weren't in school today. I came looking for you."

"Oh," he said and looked guiltily at the walls. "I'm sorry."

"You keep apologizing," she noted and he chuckled.

"I know," he let out a breath. "I know."

They sat in silence for a minute and Sora fiddled with his fingers, unsure and uncertain in the glow of the moon. Kairi gripped his arm.

"What happened?" she asked. "Tidus told me that you…that he…"

Sora's expression fell at her words and his eyes darkened even more in the dim night. He struggled to capture some word, any word, to tend towards truth.

"He took care of it," he finally said through gritted teeth. Kairi absorbed this information.

"What did you do?"

"Nothing."

"Sora."

"I didn't do anything," he turned to her. "I kept watch, that's all."

"Why didn't you call me?"

Sora kept his mouth shut and looked away but she took his face in hands and turned him back to her.

"Hey."

"What do you want me to say?" he despaired.

"I want you to tell me the truth."

He closed his eyes and he felt her forehead press against his, he felt her warm breathing on his face and he thought she smelled of roses.

"The truth is that we're all in a lot of shit," he said and his eyes fluttered open, almost afraid to look into those twin violet vortices of hidden power. She held his gaze and nodded lightly.

"I know."

"Riku's dead."

"I know."

"They're coming for us next."

"I know."

"I wish you wouldn't come here like this," he said.

"Why?"

"You'll get hurt, you're already in danger."

"So are you."

"Is this what you want?"

"I think you'd better ask yourself that question."

He looked at her with half a smirk and gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head. "You're impossible," he said.

"I know," she smiled sweetly and tugged on his shoulder. "Lay down with me."

He settled down next to her and she pressed into his side, her head resting directly over his heart. He wrapped a tentative arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. They lay there in that dusty room and listened to the outside sounds of the Brooklyn night. A hound sounded off loudly and a truck stopped and started; meaningless mutterings listing through the confinement of particular place and the expanse of space.

"There's so much I want to tell you," she mumbled into his chest.

"So tell me," he said, eyes tracing the cracks in the ceiling, winding down and out the window towards the neon haze of dense night life. She said nothing and he waited patiently.

"When Riku and I lived on the Islands we had this one island that we used to play on," he felt her lips tugging up against his chest at the memory, "we would always go there after school, take our raft and sail out and pretend we were pirates or explorers or whatever."

She paused and for a moment the room was filled with the sound of their breathing. "He wanted to go deeper into the jungle one day and I was too scared to go with him. He called me a scaredy-cat and said that explorers are supposed to be brave. So he went and I walked around the beach instead and I found a cave, it was a big cave," she shifted her head like she was nodding, "and I wanted to draw. I guess that's when I found out I loved art. I took a sharp rock and I carved myself into the wall and then I felt like I needed to draw someone else," her voice hitched and Sora could hear the emotion welling in her throat.

"I knew I wanted to draw Riku but I was _so_ angry at him I just couldn't and I –" he felt his shirt growing wet and as she lifted her head to look at him he saw the tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I couldn't do it," she cried and the tears flew faster, "I couldn't draw him and I didn't know why but I knew it had to be someone else."

"Who did it have to be?" Sora asked, his own voice strained by some inexplicable constriction.

"I don't know," she breathed and lay down again. "But I hated him then. I hated him. And I never want to feel that again."

* * *

He slept in fits and starts, the dreams weaving a kaleidoscopic blend of nebulous shapes and colors. Far off voices called out to him from far off places. He saw the dockyard and the storage house set against the lapping of the river current. Dull roar and gentle hum of that strange sea. Shapes ensconced and words exchanged. The van idling in the mouth of an alley. A creeping inevitability set against the backdrop of a descending sky. Hit them first. Hit them fast. He was speaking to them and they were listening. And so do kings rise and fall.

He awoke in a fevered state, the sweat glistening on his face and his matted mane stuck to his head. She was there to soothe him, to quell his racing lungs and wild heart, whispering gentle nonsense into his ear and stroking his face. He remembered his mother and felt the beginnings of a panic attack seize him.

"Oh God," he choked and stumbled up and out of the room, Kairi scrambling to keep close behind. He bolted into the bathroom and his hands slipped on the sink's handles. Kairi turned it for him and he slammed the water onto his face, over and over. Rinse and repeat. He felt the terror loosen its grip and his breathing eased. Kairi stood stunned beside him.

"I'm fine," he croaked. She merely gazed in confusion and sadness.

"I'm fine," he repeated.

* * *

The flames licked the walls of its den like the ocean breaking against the shore, heat radiating from behind its iron cage. The glow of the room dancing along the walls, senseless geometrical patterns roiling in states of flux.

"They didn't come," Vanitas says, fingers tapping anxiously on the arm of the couch in which he sat. No response. A quiet of terrifying power settles over the room. Vanitas chews his lip nervously and the shapeless form resting in the darkened corner of the room gives no quarter.

"I don't understand," Vanitas mutters and he rubs his hands along the length of the couch. The figure in the room shifted at his words and from it comes the Word.

"Why do you need to understand?"

Vanitas looks up, his throat running dry and his eyes shifting nervously from the light of the fire to the dark.

"There is no understanding," the man speaks and the orange glow of the room seems to dim. "Understanding is obtained through the deduction of necessary principles of which a demonstration can only come to be through the perception of universals through induction. You cannot perceive and understand."

Vanitas deflates and hides his face in his hands. "What am I supposed to do?"

A deep and deliberate laughter, almost a growl. "The hunt is on tonight. Regeneration through violence. Will to a remembrance of things past."

Vanitas sat with his hands folded neatly in his lap. The man grinned.

"They will remember soon."

* * *

When he awoke in the morning light of his room she was gone. Sora lifted himself wearily from his cot and shuffled into the bathroom, wiping away the remnants of shower steam on the mirror and staring into his own bleary eyes. Tiny liquid rivulets cut paths down the mirror and he watched them descend into the sink. He rubbed painfully at his stiffened neck.

"You awake?" Roxas called and Sora saw his reflection leaning against the door behind him.

"Yeah," Sora nodded. "Was - um - did you see –"

"Kairi? She left a little while ago. Said she didn't want to wake you."

"Oh," Sora's gaze dropped into the sink. "Okay."

Roxas stood there a while longer, unsure of what more to say but compelled to say something. "I got some bagels from Pete's. They're on the table."

"Alright."

"Okay," Roxas nodded, as if to assure himself that he'd done some public service and closed the door behind him. Sora stood alone, staring at his reflection, and then decided on a shower, pulling handles and relieving himself of his clothes. Stepping under the hot jet of water and letting the tendrils of steamy heat wrap themselves around him, Sora closed his eyes and slept on his feet. Time glided past and Sora paid no heed, falling deep into a weighty relaxation. He remained there, pressed against the shower wall with the water falling over his head, eyes closed and breathing eased until Roxas knocked on the door and told him he would be late.

He munched half-heartedly on his bagel and tossed what remained into the trash, stomach not queasy but strangely unsettled. Roxas had already slid his backpack on and was waiting at the door.

"You ready?" he looked expectantly at Sora.

"Yeah, you go on. Just give me a minute."

Roxas shot him a skeptical look. "Seriously?"

"What?"

"You're not planning on skipping again, are you?"

"No," Sora shook his head softly. "Just go ahead."

Roxas slowly backed out of the door, watching him all the way. "I'll know if you're not there," he warned.

"Yeah, yeah," Sora waved a hand at him. "Go ahead."

He was alone. He sat down at the kitchen table, his chin resting in his hands. The day passed and the hours ticked by and so did his phone. Soon it was time to go again. Sora stood and left the apartment, making sure to exit the building through the backdoor and went on through the back alleys and tiny fenced off gardens and concrete squares that passed for yards in the discarded and invisible ecosystems of Brooklyn.

The van was waiting for him, like he knew it would. The mind had prophesized its occurrence after all. He climbed aboard and no words were spoken amongst the four of them, silent in the weight that anchored them to a coming reality. The revelatory mechanical stallion that lifted them forward ground to a deliberate halt and together they watched, eyes unmoving, moored to the people moving in and out of the complex, their own black stallions, earthly and grimed with the knowledge of material consequence, drifting slowly along a stony path and waved through a gaping black hole by stonier ants.

"That's all they have protecting the place," said one horseman.

"They've got guns," said another.

"We'll be quick," Sora said. They dismounted and crept, the four of them, moving past the screened green fences and clambering over, one by one, until they had all pierced that unconscious barrier and came forth swallowed readily into the blood red light of the setting sun.

Two of them slid around the back of the facility and the others followed the wall forward until they were peering past the corner. Two little ants stood lost in a concrete wood, their gleaming rods of power gripped tightly in their hands.

Sora saw the other two and one horseman lifted a finger and together they swept forward like a plague and came upon the ants. Two quick snaps of the neck and all was still. They dragged the bodies around the bend and laid them to rest against the side of the facility. One horseman lifted the possession of an ant and examined it in his hand.

"You ever use one of these?"

"I'll learn."

They moved along the ground and the sun fired off a final demonstration of its declining power, scarlet shaping the darkening ground. The horsemen came to a side door, one tried the knob and another lifted knives from pockets. Locked.

"Stand back."

A flash of light and all hellfire opened up. They moved in fast, sweeping across the vast room of box crates and tabletop baggies, its occupants stunned and surprised. Pestilence had arrived and scoured the space; sharpened daggers of some unfathomable restitution felling the weary and speeding bluntness puncturing the soft sanctity of the human heart. Conquest that devoured all and left no recourse to exit or escape. The horsemen moved in tandem, baleful blackness enervating shallow spaces and depriving them of all life and leaving sallow husks in their malicious wake.

When it was over, when only the last man remained, surrounded by the ruined wreckage of tables and bodies, he propped himself onto his knees and pleaded to the deities stood before him.

"Alright, alright, please – just – take what you want. Munny? We have plenty of that."

The horseman named Tidus bent and took a fistful of shirt in his hand, pulling the balding man closer to him and pressed the barrel of a gun to his chin. The lackey's eyes pooled with tears and he stared up fearfully.

A pull of the trigger and he too was gone. They stood there in that smoking heap of disaster and looked around blankly at their handiwork. There so they remained and in an instant their empowerment was sucked out of them, leaving them to wonder dully whether and what had happened.

Sora pocketed the weapon he held and caught the others' eyes.

"We should go."

"Wait," Xion held up a hand and crossed the room. She lifted up one of the many crates scattered about the room and rifled through it.

"What is it?" Tidus asked.

She looked at them with a sort of self-satisfied smile and lifted a red stick from the box.

"Dynamite," she said.

Sora's mouth opened and closed. "What does the Organization want with dynamite?"

"I guess it's handy to keep around," Xion shrugged and lifted a few more sticks.

"Be careful with it," Sora warned. "They could be unstable."

"Alright, I know you're the expert on blowing things up, but I think we're good," she retorted and began to place them strategically around the room. She caught the others' half-amused-half-concerned looks and straightened. "We don't leave evidence. This is just a message."

The others nodded and positioned what remained around the room, stepping over the just departed denizens that had only minutes ago

 _(had it only been so long)_

worked the room.

"Anyone got a lighter?" Xion requested and they stared blankly at one another. "Find one."

They felt their way through the pockets of their victims until Yuffie struck gold. She tossed the lighter to Xion and they moved towards the door from which they had arrived.

"One should do it," Xion muttered, tongue resting between her teeth in extraordinary concentration. "Get ready."

She flicked her thumb over the lighter and it refused to light. Again and again, the sounds of her efforts echoing over the dead until finally a flame arose out of nothingness and she positioned it at the tip of the wire. It fizzled and sparks shot from the tip of the wire and began traveling down its length. Xion stood back and rushed towards the exit, the others already beginning their climb over the fence.

They had returned to the van when they heard the first explosion go off, followed by another and then many all at once. The windows blew out and showered the streets in shimmering glass, tunneling infernos blasted out of concrete and wood and a pillar of black smoke coiled into the sky.

The horsemen departed and sirens took their place.

* * *

Sora entered his apartment and was immediately assailed by his brother.

"What the _fuck_ , Sora?!"

He looked at Roxas tiredly, unsure of how or even if he should respond. He was dimly aware of the fact that his phone had been buzzing madly in his pocket the entire way home but he had not bothered to check it. Roxas stood seething and awaiting a response.

" _Well?!"_

"Sorry," Sora wanted to shrug but instead his shoulder slumped. He was too tired for this conversation. He made to move past Roxas but his brother grabbed his shoulder and forced him to halt.

"No. You're not walking away this time."

Sora turned his head and looked into his brother's eyes. "What do you want me to say?" he asked.

"Anything is better than nothing at this point," Roxas bit out and Sora could hear inimitable sound of true frustration reaching its boiling point. Sora ripped his shoulder away and collapsed onto the couch. He stared down at the floor.

"C'mon Sora, you don't go to school anymore, you stay out late every night, you don't talk, you just – you just…" Roxas trailed off, anger transforming into saddened resignation. Sora continued to stare at the floor.

"Is it – is it mom?" Sora's head snapped up to meet his gaze then and they stared at one another. "I mean…I know it's hard. It's hard for me too…but –"

"Is that all you can think about?" Sora finally spoke and Roxas' eyes widened in surprise. "Mom this, mom that. I don't _care_ , alright?"

He seemed surprised at his own words and his mouth snapped shut. The two boys watched each other warily and finally Sora had had enough. He stood to depart and this time Roxas did not stop him. Sora stopped at the edge of the hall and stood with his back to his defeated brother.

"I'll tell you everything. I will. Just give me some time."

He closed himself off in his room before Roxas could respond.

* * *

Kairi sits in class and watches each group approach the teacher and display their project. She chews her lip worriedly and looks to Sora's seat. Empty.

"Okay…Ventus and Naminé?" their teacher calls and the two stand and approach. Naminé shoots her a sympathetic look and she winces.

"Good…good. Alright. Sora and Kairi?"

Kairi doesn't move.

"Sora and Kairi?"

Reluctantly, she pulls herself from her seat and approaches the desk shamefully. Her teacher gives her a pointed look.

"And where is your partner?"

"Well…" she wrings her hands nervously behind her back. "I'm not sure," she admits.

"I see," he nods. He writes something in his gradebook, Kairi stands on her toes to catch a glimpse. Two 0s _._

Kairi returns to her seat and for the first time in many many years begins to chew on a nail.


End file.
